


Restart

by InMoNochrome, pjlover666



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Dark!Prowl, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinks, M/M, Manipulation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Piercings, Porn with some plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sex Toys, Sticky, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Transformer Sparklings, a lot of porn, and kinks, but there's some kind of plot in it, graffic descriptions of interfacing (no gore), happy end, pwsp, this is not an example for a healthy relationship, though expect lots of kinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-20 18:51:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11927061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InMoNochrome/pseuds/InMoNochrome, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pjlover666/pseuds/pjlover666
Summary: After a bad accident, Jazz can't remember anything: his life, his friends, his family. Thankfully his lover, Prowl, is there to help him through even if Jazz can't even remember him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We have no beta and are editing ourselves, so sorry in advance for any mistakes. Additional tags will be added as the fic progresses.

“I am very sorry, sir. But the damage was irreversible.” 

The words went over his helm. Prowl stared through the glass window into the room. The mech in it was lying on the berth, curled under the covers but even from here he could still see the static-bandages around his exposed cranium. 

“Will he recover?”

“Yes. However… as I said, the damage caused by the crash has destroyed half of his CPU. Along with his memory core and visual relays.” The medic said solemnly. “We’re waiting for parts to arrive from Polyhex, but until then, we strongly advise that we keep him sedated. It would be pointless to cause him stress. My recommendation is to wake him when we repair his helm.”

“I see.” Prowl murmured.

“I realize this is quite the shock, sir, seeing your mate in such a state… But he /will/ recover. He will need to relearn how to walk. Sounds will be unfamiliar to him. Sights as well. We’ll install the general language pack and all the data that a mech freshly out of Vector Sigma has….” Realizing that probably sounded worse, the medic amended. “Your mate is /alive/. Without memories, but still alive. That in itself is a victory.” 

“And there is no chance of him ever remembering who he was? His life, his friends, his family?”

The medic shook his helm. “I’m afraid not.”

“May I stay with him?”

“Of course.” The medic said and opened the door, leading Prowl inside. “We were starting to worry. With his processor so heavily damaged and parts missing, we were unable to find his records and identify him in order to contact his family. He was lucky that you were smart enough to start searching in the hospitals.”

Prowl didn’t answer. Instead he just took the seat next to the berth and just observed the prone frame. 

“How long until the parts arrive and he is fully recovered? I want to take him home and start acclimating him.”

“We’re hoping they will be here with us the orn after tomorrow and we can do the surgery. The next orn you can take him home, pending there are no complications.” The medic explained, feeling sympathetic, “We can offer you numbers of good psychologists to help you both recover from this if you wish.”

“That is not necessary, thank you. I can handle his recovery. Right now, I just need to take him home.” 

“Of course.” The medic agreed. “I will leave you two alone, then.”

When Prowl didn’t answer, the medic turned around and left, leaving the Praxian alone. His door-wings didn’t waver.

~

“…My name is Jazz?”

“Yes.”

“And I was in an accident?”

“Correct.”

“…Jazz…” The visored mech said, looking down at his servos, examining them. “I don’t remember anything.” He had been awake for a couple of joors now. At first everything had been so confusing. /Nothing/ made sense. But then there were these mechs…medics, they were called. His processor pulled up the information on them and he realized they were in charge of fixing mechs. 

And he had needed fixing; still needs it.

“The medics explained that this is to be expected, given you have brand new memory core. Along with new audio and optical relays. I realize this must be quite the shock.”

They had explained that. And they had introduced him then to this mech. Black and white, just like him from what parts of his frame he could see. But he had these strange appendages on his back – door-wings, his information pack supplied. Praxian, they explained, even if Jazz wasn’t sure what that meant.

“…Well, yeah.” Jazz said quietly, looking around uncertain. “Everything is just so….um, I can’t think of a word.”

“Confusing. Strange. Odd. All of these will work for you.” The Praxian suggested.

Jazz nodded. “Yeah…. It’s /empty/.” He touched his now fixed helm. “I feel like I don’t know /anything/. And I /should/… I should at least remember… /something/. Primus, I think I should at least remember /you/. And yet…” He trailed off sadly.

“As I told you, that’s normal. But don’t worry, we will fix this. I’ll make sure you remember everything. Now, as I said, my designation is Prowl. And you are called Jazz. We are mates. And I will take care of you and make sure you make a full recovery. Understood?” 

“Yeah.” Jazz said.

"Once we return home, I will explain more. For now you should rest," The Praxian responded calmly, "Once they clear you, we will head home."

"Home..." Jazz murmured the word, resting more comfortably on the pillows behind him and raising a hand to scratch his helm. Hopefully they would remove the static-bandages soon since they itched his horns so much. "I'm... I'm really happy I have a home. It would've been scary to wake up all alone." He said with a soft smile at Prowl.

Prowl gently moved Jazz's servo back down to his side and gave him a small smile, "The more you mess with it, the longer it will have to stay." 

"But it's so itchy." Jazz said sleepily. 

The Praxian place a white servo on his helm and brushed Jazz's cheek, "If you go to recharge, it won't bother you anymore and the quicker you will get it off."

Jazz gave a small nod, visor flickering out. "Okay..." He said softly, finally drifting off into recharge.

~

It was a few orns later when Jazz woke up only to find himself in unfamiliar settings. He blinked, confused. The berth was different. The wall, the windows... They weren't white. Sitting up, Jazz rubbed his helm noticing the bandages were gone but...he still didn't understand. He got off the berth, wobbling a bit and calling out for the only name he knew.

"Prowl...?" Jazz asked, looking around. He was in a big room with an equally large berth in it. There wasn't much else in it. A desk with perfectly stacked pads and a case for pads to the wall that didn't have a window.

Stumbling a little, Jazz headed to the window, which was big, almost like the entire wall and gave a soft gasp when he saw just how high he was. The ground was so far that he couldn't even see it past the clouds that were below them! He rested a hand on the cool glass, trying to peer down, using it more for balance than anything else.

The door suddenly slid opened to Prowl, "You're up," He stated as he moved closer to stand beside Jazz and peer out the window next to the smaller, "Feeling better?"

Jazz could clearly be seen shaking as he struggled to stay upright on his legs. Swiftly, the taller caught him as one leg gave out and gently dragged him back to the berth to sit, "You will need to learn to walk again, you've been unconscious for quite some time after all."

"Prowl." Jazz said, grateful as he smiled at the other and took a deep breath to compose himself. "I'm feeling much better even if my frame doesn't seem to be listening to me." He looked around again, showing his confusion. "But where are we? How did we get here? What happened with the hospital? Is this our home?"

"Yes, this is our home," Prowl replied simply, "I thought you might like waking up someplace more comfortable than the hospital." He brushed a servo over Jazz's helm, near his audio, "They even removed the bandage while you were out."

Jazz raised a hand and touched his other audio. "I'm glad. They always itched." He gave a small laugh. "Oh Prowl, I have so many questions I don't even know from where to start. My helm is so empty... I want to know what I was like, what you are like, what our life was like. For instance, like now, you keep petting me." Jazz purred, "Is that something you did? Did I like it? I don't know anything about us, the world..."

Prowl sighed as he brushed his digits down Jazz's cheek, "There is truly too much to tell, but going by your reactions then, I'd say you liked it very much. Your frame seems to remember." He chuckled lightly as he moved his servos down to Jazz's legs and rubbed feeling back into them, "Telling you how you were then, won't dictate how you are now, though I will always miss the old you. Now we will just start something anew."

Jazz allowed himself to rest next to Prowl, loosely hugging him. "This is going to sound crazy but I'm the luckiest mech...in this kind of situation. I guess I must've done something right to have you like me." He gave a soft chuckle.

Prowl's servos tightened around the smaller, "I think it's me that's the lucky one to have you."

~

Their apartment was relatively big. At least Jazz assumed that since all he had for comparison was that white hospital room he woke up in. Here not only was the berth room twice the size of that room but the living room was also very spacious, with a large sofa and couches and more cases for datapads. Maybe it seemed big because the room was mostly empty but Jazz didn't think about that. There was a kitchen with all the appliances to prepare energon and even an energon dispenser itself. 

Everything was just so new and wondrous to Jazz. Thankfully he had a large package of words and their meanings installed in him, otherwise it would've been even harder. Prowl was doing his best to teach him. And most of the time Jazz was recovering, either resting on the berth or napping on the couch. He even fell in recharge in the large tub their bathroom had, much to the visored mech's joy. 

Jazz learned to love their home fairly quickly. 

"Prowl?" Jazz asked, cuddled against Prowl on the couch with a smile. "Tell me about myself? What did I do before the crash? How did we meet? Or maybe tell me about us?" He asked, hopeful. 

Prowl hummed in thought with a faraway look in his optics, as though remembering the day, "It wasn't as spectacular as you'd probably think. We lived in the same complex and we'd met on a noise complaint you'd filed on the neighbor above you." The Praxian chuckled at the memory, "When we actually changed our status from acquaintances to an actual couple, I cannot say, but you've always been full of life even stuck in the room as you were."

Jazz nodded, field happy. "Tell me more about yourself? You're Praxian and an enforcer. And nice and kind and super smart." He gave a soft chuckle. "Pretty. And you give nice pets."

The Praxian laughed awkwardly, "There's not much to tell, I work and then come home to you. Which is far from a terrible thing as I love our time together." He stroked down Jazz's spine like he liked it and smiled triumphantly at the soft purr it elicited, "Always the highlight of my day."

"I'm learning that you flatter way too much." Jazz said in a tease. "And what did I do? What was my job? Did I have a hobby?"

Prowl smiled softly and continued to pet the back of Jazz's helm, "You didn't have a job. You did whatever you wanted inside our home."

"Oh." Jazz said, deflating a little, surprised. "I did? Huh, interesting. And here I thought I had some cool job or something." He gave a soft sigh. "Well, anyway, do we have pictures? Tell me about us? I love hearing stories about us."

"I was not fond of being in pictures, so there are none of us together. I do have several of just you though," Prowl offered.

"Aw, why?" Jazz asked, shifting to cup the other's face. "You're so beautiful. You should've been in the pictures..." 

Prowl looked into Jazz's visor, gaze steady, "If you want, you're free to take pictures. Like everything else, we'll start a new." 

"It's in times like this that I realize how important pictures are... I want us to take as many pictures as possible. I don't want to forget ever again..." Jazz trailed off, saddened. He felt a few tears pool behind his visor and quickly brushed them away. "I wish I remembered you. Or my family. I know you said they died.... I wish I could at least remember them...." He pressed close to Prowl, basking in his field.

A white servo grabbed Jazz's face and brushed at the hidden tears under his visor, "We'll make new memories together," He whispered softly against Jazz's lips before he sealed them together in a heated yet chaste kiss.

Jazz made a sound of surprise, optics filled with tears brightening at the unfamiliar sensation. He didn't return the kiss (That's what his dictionary supplied) and when it ended just stared at Prowl, with something akin to awe. "... This is a kiss?" He asked, amazed.

Prowl grinned and pressed their helms close, "There's still much to re-learn, but you'll do great." 

"C-can we do it again?" Jazz asked, almost shy. "I want to learn. To...to return you the kiss."

"Of course, though I would like to outline a couple of rules before we do so," Gently he pulled back and took Jazz's servos in his own.

"Rules?" Jazz asked, curious as Prowl went on, nodding.

"One, you cannot leave the apartment without informing me first. You have an extreme allergy to the outside air that tends to cripple you if you're out there for too long."

"...A-Allergy?" Jazz asked, surprised, the term unfamiliar. "Is that why I don't have a job and stay inside? What kind of allergy?"

"I cannot really say what it is, but I've seen you collapse unconscious one time and it took some time for your vents to regulate properly. I have not actively brought you outside since then," Prowl responded with a hint of fear in his voice as he explained.

Jazz nodded, raising a hand concerned to his chest. "...I see." He murmured. Maybe that's why he couldn't remember how he got here in the apartment.

"Two, you are not to speak to any strangers, especially those that may come to the door when I'm not home." 

Jazz nodded again, but had another question, "So...if someone comes I'm not allowed to answer the door?" 

Prowl's optics hardened, "Unless I inform you prior that someone is coming, you may not answer the door." He smoothed his thumb over the back of Jazz's servo, "Your external and internal comms have also been deactivated to everyone but myself."

"I see." Jazz murmured quietly, "But why were they..." He trailed off.

Prowl gave Jazz a sad smile, "You dated another mech before me. Back when we started dating, you used to receive calls from him." The Praxian paused briefly, "He was constantly harassing you to the point we had to disable all incoming calls. We decided it was best to cut out all other potential ways he could get to you."

Jazz shifted uncomfortably next to Prowl before settling in a hug. "…I have to learn there are bad mechs in the world, don't I?"

"Yes..." Prowl returned the others embrace, "As long as you follow these rules, you will remain safe." He pulled back again and cupped Jazz's face in his servos.

Jazz blinked up at Prowl, this time with anticipation in his field.

The Praxian vented softly, debating how to phrase his next words before he pushed on, "The reason you don't have a job isn't fully because you can't leave or that you didn't want one." He paused to let Jazz digest that before he continued, "There is a hierarchy in relationships. One mech works and the other stays home and does their own form of work. While you are allowed to do whatever you'd like here, you must also make sure it is kept tidy by the end of the day."

"That's not in the information packets I received..." Jazz murmured as he searched in them. "But... if that's how things are." And he could understand why they chose it to be this way if his allergy was as strong as Prowl claimed.

Prowl smiled and brushed an audio horn, "This is how we've always lived, though I will admit to being more protective after our...last walk outside, you had seemed to be doing much better until the accident."

Jazz wasn't exactly sure what to say at those words, just pressing close to Prowl, "I seem to be a handful. Our life...was it good? It doesn't sound easy."

"I had never been so happy until I'd met you," Lightly he grazed his lips over Jazz's nose.

Jazz made a small sound, something much like a giggle as he looked at Prowl. "...Can I try to kiss you too?"

"Of course my dear," He smiled.

Jazz also smiled and hesitantly shifted, getting close to Prowl and brushing their lips together, afraid to put more pressure on them, just feeling their softness. 

Prowl smiled against the other's mouth and gently pressed forward to massage the others lips with his own.

Jazz hummed into the kiss, field flickering in joy at the new and pleasant sensation. This...this was fun! He could grow to love this! 

The Praxian could feel Jazz's field pressing more into his own and could feel the smaller’s enjoyment. He pressed further, going as far as to open his mouth and run his glossa over Jazz's upper lip, seeking entrance inside.

A small sound of surprise left Jazz but he eagerly followed as best as he could Prowl's actions, also opening his mouth and this time the sound that escaped him was a moan at the overwhelming sensation. He gripped Prowl's shoulders, needing something to ground him as he felt heat run all over his frame. 

This...was incredible! What an amazing feeling.

Prowl deepened the kiss and intertwined their glossa to give Jazz a taste before he pulled back, "I think that's enough for now." He could feel Jazz's frame overheating and it wouldn't do any good to put him back out of commission so soon.

Jazz looked up at Prowl, a little dazed as he did so. "This is just so...so intriguing! I love the sensation." He grinned at the other. "I bet we kissed /a lot/."

"I can assure you we did many other /enjoyable/ things as well," Prowl chuckled as he stroked Jazz's cheek.

Jazz gave the other a small smile, leaning into Prowl's hand, "...Are you sad?" He murmured. "You lost just as much as me...you lost the mech who was your partner. I just…I just can't remember..."

The taller smiled lightly, "You are still /my/ Jazz, and we will get through this together."

Jazz's smile widened, spark beating faster.

~

Prowl was still at work when Jazz checked the time, admitting to himself that he was bored. Again. Ever since his mate had returned to work after his recovery, Jazz had realized that even though the apartment was nice and big... 

It was boring.

At first he tried to keep himself occupied by cleaning. But there was only so much to clean. Prowl generally didn't make a mess so Jazz didn't have that much to work with. He tried cooking but even that grew boring after a few weeks. Another thing he tried was reading. Prowl said that both of them liked to read historical books but after a few pads Jazz realized that he didn't find them interesting. Maybe his previous self enjoyed them but his current one couldn't pick up another one.

Primus, he was /bored/. 

He couldn't even comm. Prowl since all he could do was receive calls. There weren't that many and they were always at a specific time. And Prowl never had time for a long conversation... Jazz glanced at the direction of the front door. Technically, if he walked around the building he wouldn't be fully exposed to the outside air and he shouldn't get sick. But... Prowl said not to even /open/ the door. 

"Maybe if I peek...." Jazz trailed off as he sat up properly on the couch, now just staring at the door with longing. Would Prowl be mad? But... how would he find out? Jazz shook his helm. No, his mate said that he shouldn't open the door under any circumstance.

...Damnit.

For the next joor all Jazz could do was just /stare/ at the door, fighting internally with himself until he reached the decision to just peek outside and see how the corridor looked like. Finally excited Jazz went to the front door and deflated when he saw it was locked. He tried to open it a couple of times, pulling on the lever but the door required a combination of numbers that he just couldn't figure out...

The distinct sound of something beeping on the other side like a code being typed in could be heard right before the door slid open for Prowl. He startled briefly at the unexpected sight of Jazz so close to the door, "I hope you weren't waiting here the entire day."

He entered the room further and let the door slide closed and locked, only giving Jazz a brief glimpse of the outside "world".

"Have you had energon yet?" Prowl asked as he headed toward the kitchen to pull out a couple of cubes for them.

Jazz stared at Prowl, still frozen in his spot. He realized he was nervous but when Prowl didn't seem upset that Jazz was so close to the door forced himself to relax. He followed him into the kitchen, giving the door a longing glance before leaning on the counter and smiling at the other.

Unsure how to respond to the first comment without giving himself away (and actually feeling guilty for hiding this from his mate), Jazz focused on the second part. "Nope, not yet. Was actually waiting for you to come home. How was your orn?" 

"Good, my orns have been better since you finished recovery," Prowl replied as he offered Jazz his cube of energon. "How has your orn been?" The Praxian asked in return as he turned to move to the couch.

Jazz followed him, holding his cube close but not drinking yet. "It was nice." Jazz said and after a slight hesitation added, "...maybe a little boring. There, ah, wasn't much to do...as of late."

Prowl hid a frown behind his energon before he patted the seat next to him, "Have you found the musical texts yet? Those tended to be your favorite."

"Musical texts?" Jazz perked up, sitting down next to Prowl and pressing close. "No, I haven't. Read some of our books but..." He gave small shrug. 

A sensory panel lightly bumped Jazz's back in a gentle pat, "There aren't as many as the historical texts, but they are still rather large by themselves." He let his field smooth out and wash over the smaller mech, "I'll show you where they are before recharge if you'd like."

"Yes, that would be awesome." Jazz grinned. He glanced in the direction of the door and hesitated again, "I...was also wondering, how long do I stay outside before I start feeling sick? Maybe... maybe we can go out for a very short walk?" 

Prowl frowned as he turned to Jazz, "I would rather not cause any unnecessary harm to you." Gently he turned Jazz's helm away from the door and back to his face, "I cannot consciously take you outside knowing that you will be sick later."

Jazz hesitated but nodded in Prowl's hold. But he couldn't stop the next words that left him. "...But I'm so bored." He mumbled.

The clink of Prowl's glass being set down filled the room. Prowl pulled Jazz's half full cube from Jazz's servos before he turned back to the smaller to deliver a quick kiss, "Would you like to do something active to ease your boredom?"

"Always!" Jazz chuckled, eagerly stealing a couple of more kisses. "What did you have in mind?"

Prowl swiftly scooped Jazz up into his arms and moved them to the berth room, "Something I think you'll find more enjoyable than kissing." His wings flared out as he threw Jazz onto the soft berth and followed shortly after to crawl up the smaller’s frame. He kissed Jazz's neck as he settled between Jazz's partially open legs.

Jazz gave a startled yelp at the sudden shift in position but then Prowl was over him and giving him those kisses he absolutely adored and was addicted to. Jazz opened his mouth, eager to deepen the kiss as his arms gripped Prowl's shoulders, field flaring freely in pleasure. Without even thinking, Jazz squeezed his legs, keeping the other close. 

The Praxian pressed him harder into the berth and lightly bit at Jazz's bottom lip to see Jazz's response. His servos wrapped around the small frame to grope his aft while he bumped their panels but kept his own firmly closed.

Jazz gave a small cry of pleasure and pain, unsure how to process this but his frame seemed to like it. "P-Prowl..." Jazz gasped against the other, frame shuddering. "Are-are we going to interface?" He asked uncertainly, all the sensations new and unfamiliar. For some reason his lack of knowledge made him nervous, almost afraid. "I-I don't know what to do." He whimpered before gasping as Prowl touched something else on his frame. 

"Maybe," Prowl purred as he nipped Jazz's lips while he continued to feel up the smaller frame, seeking out hidden hotspots, "You're free to explore, touch as much as you'd like." He licked Jazz's neck and peppered it with open-mouthed kisses and bites.

Jazz felt his frame start to lightly shake, both from nervousness and growing arousal. Every time Prowl touched him it sent a small fire on the spot there. Jazz wasn't sure how exactly he was supposed to return this to Prowl - and Primus did he want to make the other feel just as good - Jazz started mirroring the other's touches, occasionally stealing more kisses. His hands trailed back and he discovered something very pleasant - Prowl's door-wings!

Prowl groaned against Jazz's neck as his wings were stimulated. He pressed down in an attempt to bring his wings closer to that touch while his claws dug into Jazz's sides unconsciously. 

Jazz cried out in pain but then pleasure quickly washed over him, distracting his attention to Prowl's lips, which were all over his frame, leaving him gasping. Without thinking Jazz squeezed his legs around the Praxian between them, playing with the joint of his door-wings. "P-Prowl..." Jazz moaned, surprising himself by the noises he could make. His visor shut off, feeling his cheeks burn as desire and arousal were bursting in his field.

The Praxian growled at the sounds his mech was making and quickly shifted to kissing and sucking a trail down Jazz's frame. He took his time as he travelled down the smaller's chest and belly, making sure to give special attention to earlier found sensitive seams, even going so far as to bite at them, having Jazz arch into him. 

His servos trailed down with him and came up between Jazz's thighs and rubbed soothing circles on the warm metal there, "You're alright." Prowl purred softly as he made his way to the still closed panel. 

Jazz was breathing hard, vents working overtime to expel all the heat that was accumulating in him. Prowl's touch on his panel felt molten and Jazz couldn't help but shudder, giving a couple of small whimpers. "P-Prowl... This..." Jazz arched again, the scratches at his side only managing to give his pleasure a sharper edge. "Primus don't /stop/." Without even thinking or sending the order, his panel retracted, showing his leaking valve.

Prowl's optics darkened as he licked his lips, "Always the best performer." He let his vents blast over the exposed metal and grinned as Jazz arched sharply from the cold air. 

Without thinking Jazz squeezed his legs, whimpering in pleasure as he gripped the covers of the berth, cheeks burning.

Wings shot up, startled at the sudden move and rubbed his face from the impact. Swiftly he moved his servos up to wrap around Jazz's thighs and forcefully hold them open, "Still a bit cheeky though." 

Prowl blew on the other's valve again but this time followed through and began to suck harshly on Jazz's anterior node.

"PROWL!" Jazz yelled, entire frame buckling as his first overload tore through him, startling him at the suddenness of it. He wasn't sure if he squeezed his legs again or not, but his entire frame had locked up, visor whiting out and leaving him panting at the verge of consciousness.

The Praxian continued to suck and nibble at the other's swollen node before he absently licked up the length of Jazz's entrance and pulled back shortly after. He moved back up Jazz's frame and kissed him hard on the mouth before he rolled over, dragging the smaller with him by the hips.

"...P-Prowl?" Jazz said dizzily, trying to concentrate on his surroundings, as pleasure was rich in his field. Primus, that was one heck of an overload. "Now I know why mechs like to interface..." He gave a week chuckle as he recovered more, lifting a shaking hand to cup Prowl face. His own cheeks were still burning at the touch of Prowl kissing him /there/ but that very same thought was making him run hot again.

Prowl smiled up at the other and absently licked his lips, "Are you ready for round two, love?" His servos scratched and squeezed Jazz's hips in preparation of moving him.

Yet again his frame acted by its own accord as Jazz hissed in pleasure and pain at Prowl scratching over his hips again, "/Yes/."

Servos lifted Jazz up by the hips while Prowl slid down the berth till he was no longer propped up. He positioned the smaller over his face, valve in line with his mouth and carefully lowered Jazz down until he could reach the other's intimates.

Jazz at first startled at the shift and feared he would crush Prowl even if he was significantly smaller. But then the surprise turned into confusion when he saw the other shift him over his helm and before Jazz could even ask, what the other was doing became clear.

"Oh, /Prowl/." Jazz threw his helm back in ecstasy; hands shifting around for balance even though Prowl didn't let him move much. "Primus, Primus, Primus!" His thought process halted and all Jazz could do was make sounds of pleasure as his frame started a rather quick build up to another overload.

Prowl smirked at the way his actions were destroying Jazz's control and without any warning, licked the other's entrance roughly before he thrust his glossa inside. He hummed against Jazz's valve, groaning as the other's walls squeezed around his delving glossa while he pulled the other's hips down further onto him in an attempt to reach deeper.

Jazz cried out, the sensations overwhelming him so much that /another/ overload managed to burst from him, this time sending Jazz truly and well offline as he collapsed on Prowl. Even in this offline state his field was buzzing with lingering pleasure, sated. 

The larger lapped up what he could from Jazz’s sudden overload before he gingerly moved the smaller's frame to the berth in a more comfortable position. He licked his lips as he gazed at the other's unconscious frame. Absently he stroked a hip while he reached into his subspace to pull out a cloth to clean up the smaller's lower regions.

Jazz wasn't sure how much time had passed when his visor flickered back on to a wan light. He blinked at Prowl, confused for a moment before he remembered what happened and blushed, pressing close to the other, hiding his face as embarrassment colored his field, mingling with his contentment. 

"Nothing to feel embarrassed over, dear," Prowl rumbled smoothly against one of Jazz's horns. "You did quite well for just getting over recovery."

"...That felt so good." Jazz finally admitted quietly, still not bearing to look up at Prowl. "Like... I can't even find the words to describe it. I now fully realize why there's interfacing. It's just so..." Jazz's frame gave a small shudder as he could remember Prowl's lips.... "But I dunno why I feel so embarrassed." He said with a nervous chuckle.

"It's like your first time again," Prowl purred into Jazz's audial, "With more 'practice' you'll last much longer."

Jazz let out a loud giggle at the thought of more interfacing and finally dared to look up at Prowl's face, grinning stupidly. "In a way this really if my first time. With these memories. With you..." He murmured before stealing a kiss from Prowl, "Was it just as good as our first time?"

Prowl smiled and returned the kiss, nipping the other's lips as he pulled away, "Better than the first, after all you'd been with others before me then and had the experience."

Jazz gave a small chuckle, "Well, now you get to feel special. I'll only know and remember /you/." He stole another kiss. "Though I hope I can quickly overcome my lack of experience - want to make you feel good too."

"That just means you need to be more /hands on/ the next time," The Praxian replied as he kissed Jazz on the lips and face. "Though, if you're wanting to start now, I wouldn't mind," Prowl continued as he nipped at Jazz's jaw.

"What do you have in mind?" Jazz purred at the kisses, distracting him from the scratches at his sides as he shifted better around Prowl. 

"If you're willing," Prowl paused as he let his panel slide back and his spike fully pressurize, "You can give my spike some attention." Prowl hummed against Jazz's horns as he directed the smaller's gaze to his length. 

Jazz glanced down and saw a spike for the very first time. He realized now that he had never even seen his own. 

"You mean do what you did to my valve?" Jazz asked, blushing.

Prowl kissed Jazz on the cheek, "If you’re feeling up to it, that is." Gently he pet Jazz's helm and stroked a horn tenderly before he moved his servo to Jazz's jaw, "I can guide you if you'd like."

Jazz blinked at Prowl, grinning as he blushed. "Okay? M-maybe that's for the best. You know, I haven't even seen my own?" Jazz looked back at Prowl's spike curiously, reaching with a hand to just.../touch/ because it was so weird! But before he could touch it he stopped himself and pulled away, looking at Prowl for permission, or instructions or...something. 

The Praxian's servo rubbed Jazz's jaw and throat, "You may touch." Prowl offered as he shifted more on his back with his legs apart, "I will tell you if you're doing something wrong."

Jazz nodded, turning his face so he could kiss Prowl's palm before nodding with a smile. Hesitantly he reached for the spike again, visor brightening in surprise when he saw just how warm it was! 

"Wow." Jazz laughed as he took a good grip and unsure on how to properly pleasure Prowl just stroked it up and down a couple of time, feeling it pulse under his hand. "Like this?" He grinned.

Prowl arched at the touch and thrust his spike in Jazz's grip, "Just like that." He vented warm air as he moved one of his own servos down to cover Jazz's own and squeezed to add some pressure to the smaller's grip, "Feel free to explore."

Jazz felt delight at the reaction he was able to gain from Prowl and gave it another couple of experimental squeezes. He shifted so he was closer to the spike, giving him better access and putting him right between Prowl's legs as he started to use both hands in exploring as Prowl had instructed. One hand was stroking up and down while the other was squeezing the head. 

Jazz bit his lip as he glanced at Prowl. The other used his mouth and glossa...

The Praxian watched with rapt attention until the other paused. He could see the other was unsure of the next step as he continued the directed motions, "You can taste, think of it like kissing at first."

'Kissing...' Jazz looked from Prowl's lips down to his spike and remembered all the amazing sensations Prowl gave him and wanted to return as good as he got. Feeling bold Jazz lowered his helm and did what Prowl had asked for. 

He kissed his spike. 

Jazz grinned at Prowl.

It was so innocent it had Prowl's plating warming even more. His spike twitched at the contact and began to produce prefluid at the tip. 'I might actually overload from that alone,' Prowl thought as he sat up to stroke Jazz's cheek and direct Jazz’s mouth back to his spike.

"Now like an open mouthed kiss, how I suck on your glossa," He purred into the smaller's audio.

Jazz shuddered, visor darkening as he gave a light nod. Lowering his helm to the spike he took the tip in at first, daring himself to taste. He gave a couple of sucks, enjoying Prowl's reactions and that gave him courage to try and take the spike as deep as he could. He almost reached the base but couldn't go lower. Without even thinking one of Jazz's hands came to squeeze the base he couldn't stimulate and started to squeeze it as he lifted his helm and then back down, all the while sucking. 

Prowl groaned as Jazz went down on him and brought both of his servos down to Jazz's helm and gripped both horns. He started to thrust into the smaller's mouth as he felt himself getting close to overload and began to use Jazz's horns as leverage. He grunted as he moved one servo down to massage Jazz's throat as he thrust his full length all the way into the other's mouth.

He felt and saw Jazz's frame go rigid at the action, but continued massaging the smaller's throat and one audio horn as he continued to thrust to overload.

Without any warning he hilted and stopped as he overloaded down the other's throat. With a shaky servo he reached down to squeeze the base of his spike and pulled out enough so only the head was still in the smaller's mouth before he released the pressure from the base of his spike.

Jazz was struggling with his vents to cool his frame as the other's actions startled him. For a moment the transfluid blocked the air to his main airway but thankfully it suddenly stopped and the spike was no longer deep in his throat, instead only the base in his mouth spurting transfluid, filling his mouth. His cheeks puffed out and he stared up at Prowl, shaking as for a moment a little bit of fear mingled in his aroused field. What was he supposed to do now? Was this...normal?

Prowl sighed as his optics dimmed in lust at the other's face, "Swallow, dear." 

Jazz blinked again, surprised at the other's request...but Prowl was the one that had all the memories. He was the one that knew how things worked. 

Uncertain, Jazz forced himself to swallow, shuddering at the odd taste and feel. Still a little nervous, he looked at Prowl. 

The Praxian pulled his spike from Jazz's mouth and felt another rush of heat shoot through him at the look he was getting and the string of oral fluid that still connected them.

He rolled Jazz onto his back and knelt down to deliver a hard kiss onto his swollen lips. His servos stroked and clawed at the other's chest. He even went so far as to dip two digits into Jazz's still exposed valve and brought them back up for Jazz to suck clean.

Jazz mewed when the other pushed him back on his back and winced at the hard kiss and the other touching his scratches. He felt pain and arousal as the other touched his valve again and he looked up at Prowl when the other brought his hands to his face. "...Prowler?" Jazz asked uncertainly. 

Prowl's only response to Jazz was to lick his digits with Jazz's essence before he rubbed them back against Jazz's lips.

Jazz opened his mouth to ask the other again but didn't get to as those digits were suddenly invading his mouth. Surprise colored Jazz's field along with a touch of fear, as he had no control of the situation and had no idea what he was supposed to do. He reached with one hand to Prowl's shoulder and the other gripped Prowl's own hand and gingerly tried to shift them out. Oddly, Prowl's actions were both frightening and arousing him at the same time. 

"I can feel it in your field Jazz, that you like this," He purred in a soothing tone as he massaged Jazz's glossa with his digits.

Jazz gave a small whimper as he tried to turn his head away but the other held him in place. Confusion, fear, arousal - it all mixed in his field and he couldn't tell which was which. Finally taking the hint Jazz started to suck on the other's fingers, all the while trying to shift his helm away.

Once he felt his digits were sufficiently licked clean, Prowl pulled them from Jazz's mouth. He kissed him gently, "You were amazing tonight." With a little show of strength he picked Jazz up and brought him back to the head of the berth to lie against his own frame. He kept one arm wrapped around Jazz's back while his servo rested on Jazz's hip.

There was still confusion in Jazz's field as he lightly shook next to the other. He didn't know how to feel. Was it possible to both like and not like something at the same time?

Nervously, Jazz sat up and shifted to the farthest corner on the berth from Prowl, giving him a confused look. He shuddered, the moments from before still lingering in his field.

Prowl hid a frown as he watched the smaller, "Tell me what's wrong."

Jazz bit his lip as he felt even more nervous and looked down at his scratched up frame. "... I don't know. I just..." He winced when he touched one of the deeper scratches that had managed to draw out a small amount of energon. "... I got scared."

Prowl shifted his posture to seem smaller as he spoke, "I would never intentionally hurt you, Jazz." 

Suddenly he got off of the berth and headed to the washracks in search of his med kit. He returned a short moment later with the white box in hand and sat back down with it, "If you come over here, I can fix up those scratches."

"...I'm sorry." Jazz murmured but he shifted closer to the other. He needed him for some reason, the offered comfort. "...Prowler, is it…is it possible to both like and not like something that's done to you?" He asked confused.

Prowl worked to clean up the cuts over Jazz's frame while he listened to Jazz, "You're going to have to tell me what you didn't like. You used to be rather keen for being rough in the berth." 

"I did?" Jazz murmured before wincing when Prowl dabbed over one of the bigger scratches. "...I see. I just... I didn't mind the scratches, they brought a certain edge that I really liked and when you gave me those overloads..." He shuddered. "But then you forced your spike and then yours fingers in my mouth and I-I... I liked and didn't like it." He buried his face in his hands.

Prowl hummed absently as he dabbed salve over the scratches, "You enjoy the loss of power but you also fear it." The Praxian observed as he looked to the other's covered face and smirked darkly before he kissed the back of Jazz's neck to hide it, "I don't plan to take advantage of you, if that's what you're afraid of, we'll just need to come up with some 'safe words' before the next time."

"'Safe words'?" Jazz repeated the term again, confused as he gave a soft hum of pleasure where the other kissed him. "What are those?" He murmured, visor darkening.

Servos smoothed out over the other's scratches, checking that he'd treated them all before he replied, "Words or actions for you to use if a situation becomes too much. They would put our play on hold or stop it completely."

"Oh." Jazz actually liked that idea, "Like what? Do you have a suggestion?" He leaned into the other's frame, scratches no longer bothering him as he felt contentment.

The taller puller Jazz to rest back against his frame, "We can use colors as code words; green is good and keep going, yellow means you're uncomfortable and the act makes you uneasy but you still want to go on, and red means to stop completely." He kissed in between Jazz's horns, "You can shift your visors color setting to 'say' those words if you are unable to speak."

"Oh." Jazz blinked surprised. "That's actually pretty neat. I guess we can do that." He offered Prowl an apologetic smile. "M'sorry for making this difficult on you. I guess the previous me liked it rough, with all the experience. My current lack of it only seems to make things more complicated..." He cupped Prowl's cheek.

"Nothing to be ashamed of," Prowl murmured against Jazz's lips. "I'm sure I have some datapads you can look at with information on interfacing, it may help."

"That would actually be great." Jazz said with a grateful smile. "And by the way, how can I get access to 'the internet'?" He asked, "Since I got back from the hospital I tried to log in but I couldn't."

"Our room doesn't get signal to receive it," Prowl responded as though that were an unusual question, "We've never had it."

"...Oh." Jazz said rather dumbly. "I see." He hesitated for a moment. "Can we get something to make the signal stronger so we can get it? Maybe that will keep my boredom at bay, along with the music sheets and lyrics." 

Prowl sighed as thought the answer should be obvious, "The room does get signal, but it is banned for the same reason your comms. are restricted." He glanced down to see Jazz's hopeful expression fall, "I would rather not risk your ex happening upon you online and to find out that you remember nothing of your time with him, I'm sorry."

"Is he really that dangerous?" Jazz asked sadly, "Why can't the law or the enforcers like you do something? It's not fair I get to live my life with no internet..."

"He knows too many mechs, we'd never be able to make a case even with the evidence. No one would want to go against him in court," Prowl tried to explain, "I can see about limiting the access on it maybe? I don't know how well that will help though."

Jazz nodded, field sad as he rested more against Prowl, tired from the overloads and excitement from before. "...Right." He murmured dejectedly. "I wish I had never met him. I can't... I can't even remember his designation or how he looks like and yet he still makes my life hard."

Prowl cupped Jazz's face in his servos, "I will do whatever I can to make this easier for you."

Jazz shuttered his visor, sleepy and hoped Prowl's words were true.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Material in this chapter may be distressing to some, so this is a heads-up before you read further that there is dub con and non con in this chapter.

It wasn't long before there was a whole new bookcase in the living room, all of it dedicated to Jazz. It was full of all kinds of games - from board games to music pads and other pads filled with his sheets of music and sci-fi novels Jazz had learned he liked much, much more than the history books. There were even pads on how to play different instruments, which Prowl promised to buy some for him soon. 

Thankfully, all of the games and music were enough to distract Jazz. Sometimes though he would stare out the huge glass window to the clouds below and try to imagine what the world looked like, what the mechs talked about or simply how they appeared. He couldn't even open a window - they were in a skyscraper, with windows for walls. There was no way for him to open one without the strong winds risking to pulling him out.

Prowl coming home had become the highlight of his orn. Jazz quickly learned to cook and his lover always came home at the same time everyday. He began to experiment with their dinner meal and would make something new every few weeks once he felt comfortable with the outcome. The energon was ready when Prowl arrived and they would consume it while playing a different game each night, ending it with long and intense overloads. 

Jazz was thankful for the 'safe words' as Prowl had called them. Prowl always abided by them when he used them, even if often Jazz was so lost in the moment he entirely forgot about them. Prowl was also considerate enough to give him different pads with interfacing positions for them to try and just about general information on interfacing and spark merging as a whole. They haven't done the last one even though Prowl said they had never done it before and was waiting for just the right moment for them to do it.

Though...still. The walls were closing in on Jazz. He was starting to feel sick of them, his frame restless with so much lack of movements. But Jazz tried to follow Prowl's suggestions and instructions...he really did.

The first two times it happened was an accident. Prowl always typed in a code when locking the door before they went to bed. Jazz saw the first two digits and remembered them. It took him around two weeks before he learned three more. And by the end of the month he had all 10 digits in his memory. Was it the same code for unlocking? Jazz had no idea but his curiosity was getting the better of him.

This time when Jazz was standing before the front door, it wasn't near the time Prowl got home from work. At least he didn't have to worry about getting caught. Still, he felt guilty for doing this but he was just so /curious/....

Jazz looked down his frame. It was all scratched up from their interfacing, with some bite marks here and there... would the mechs from outside think he was weird? What were they like? What did they look like...

Those questions and more prompted Jazz to type in the code carefully and his visor flared in surprise when the light turned green and the door unlocked, swishing open with a quiet hiss...

Jazz couldn't believe it! He was out!

Curiously, Jazz peaked out. There was a plain corridor with doors. It was colored in blue-gray paint. He stayed there, hovering at the front door wanting to see if he would start to feel sick but thankfully after 15 breems of nothing, Jazz dared to take a daring step outside. Technically, he was still in the building, not outside so he shouldn't feel sick in it.

Feeling giddy at this new revelation, Jazz took another step and the door swooshed behind him.

He was outside!

Jazz looked over the entire corridor, almost tempted to knock on someone's door just for the sake of a conversation. Then he saw what he recognized from his pre-installed files as an elevator. 

But before he could grow more excited he saw that he could call the elevator up only with a special chip. Which...he didn’t have. Jazz deflated. But before depression could settle on him he saw there was a staircase not too far. Intrigued, Jazz went to it and looked down.... And felt dizzy. Just like with the windows, he couldn't see the ground floor! Still, it was a small victory. He wandered around for half a joor, hoping someone would come up but all of the floors were empty. When no one showed, Jazz tried knocking, but no one opened. He couldn't even hold a conversation with someone. But soon Jazz realized he was getting tired from all the stairs and he still had some that he needed to climb back.

Disappointed that he didn't meet anyone new, Jazz went back into their apartment, dejected. 

His disappointment didn't last too long though. It was a couple of orns later that Jazz noticed Prowl had forgotten his elevator chip. Jazz just stared at it for almost an entire joor before going to pick it up. He already felt horrible for having lied to Prowl and not telling him he had gone out.

But...Primus, he was willing to risk his allergy in order to see the outside world.

And Jazz did. The elevator lowered him to the ground floor and finally, finally Jazz saw some mechs walking by but he was too excited about going outside to stop and converse with some of them. 

The first thing Jazz noticed was.... it was sunny. And how warm the sunrays felt on his plating. /Primus/, it felt wonderful. Jazz shuttered his visor for a moment, relying on the feeling, the new sounds, the smells... When he opened it again he saw /color/. Mechs of different colors, different shapes and frame and all the alt modes on the street!

Jazz felt giddy!

Jazz waited a bit, wanting to see if he would feel sick, but when nothing happened he dared to take some steps away from the building. He didn't go far, bumping into some mechs but even their simple 'Excuse me' or 'Watch it' excited Jazz. Voices. So many new voices and the ground. Jazz almost overwhelmed himself with so many new things and almost didn't see it had been joors. He needed to get home before Prowl!

Hurriedly, Jazz retraced his steps, thankful he managed to remember them and on which floor they lived. Once in the safety of their apartment Jazz returned the elevator chip where it was and went to his usual place on the couch, smiling.

He had seen the outside world. It's colors and sounds. And hadn't even felt sick! Maybe he had gotten better? Maybe he could /finally/ go out one of these orns!

The control panel on the outside of the door beeped as the mech on the other side was admitted access. Prowl entered the apartment as usual and briefly glanced at Jazz as he headed for the kitchen, "How was your day, love?" 

There was a short pause but when Jazz answered there was a smile in his voice, "It was the usual." He stopped himself from trying to give more details. No need to give more lies. "How was yours?" 

"Good," Prowl started as he pulled out two glasses for their energon, "Though I forgot my elevator key today so had to take the stairs." 

That had Jazz baffled. "...What?!" He called from the couch as he watched his mate fumble with the energon. "You climbed /all/ the stairs? How are you still standing up?!"

Prowl shrugged as he stirred additives into their energon, "It was good exercise, though I should probably sit down now." A little slower than usual he moved over to the couch and handed Jazz his energon before he sat down himself.

"Thanks, love. But you should've said so earlier, I could've made the energon..." Jazz murmured, feeling guilty. He pressed close to the other, reaching over to brush a thigh. "You okay?" He asked, worried and took a sip from the energon. 

Prowl took a gulp of his energon and vented a sigh of relief, "Just tired, there were a lot of stairs."

"Be more careful, love. Don't forget it like that..." Jazz murmured, pressing close.

"I hope your day was better than my own, yes?" He kissed Jazz gently on the cheek as he relaxed more into the couch and wrapped one arm around Jazz's shoulders.

"My orn just turned great when you came home." Jazz said with a small smile, field content. 

Jazz didn't notice it at first. It started out as a small pressure in the back of his helm that grew rather rapidly and Jazz noticed it when it became /sharp/. He stood up from the couch where he was cuddled up next to Prowl and took a step that was much more wobbly than it should have been. Another step. "...Prowl?" Jazz murmured. He wobbled again, as the room swam when he tried to look back at Prowl. 

"Jazz!" Prowl shouted when Jazz tilted over and began to fall. Quickly he moved to catch the smaller and held him in his arms as he brushed a servo against his face. He felt too warm and his face and visor were pale. 

Prowl hissed as he stood with Jazz in his arms and headed to their berthroom. He laid the smaller down gently in an attempt not to shuffle the other too much, "Jazz, did you go outside?" He asked worry and a bit of anger tinting his voice as he moved across the room to the washracks and came back with a damp cloth.

"P-Prowl..." Jazz gave a whimper, panting as he tried to cool his frame with all his vents but his core temperature just kept rising. "I dun feel good..."

Gingerly he pressed the cloth to Jazz's face and neck as he stared into the pale visor, "I need you to tell me the truth, Jazz."

"I...I..." Jazz whimpered again, visor flickering off but he was still awake. "O-Only fo-for a little while..." He gasped, feeling his plating burn.

Prowl growled to himself, "This is my fault, I shouldn't have forgotten the chip." He grunted in annoyance, "I'll be right back." 

"N-no, P-p-prowl..." Jazz tried to call back the other but gasped as another red notice warned him of overheating.

Swiftly the Praxian exited the room back into the den and to the kitchen where he pulled out a smaller glass and a vial especially for this sort of situation for Jazz. He quickly mixed the medicine into some low grade and returned to the berthroom where Jazz was looking worse by the klik. 

Prowl carefully sat down on the berth and positioned Jazz in his arms so he could prop Jazz's helm and shoulders up, "I need you to drink this, Jazz." He brought the pale blue medicine to Jazz's lips and helped the smaller drink it down and didn't move until it was completely gone.

Jazz chocked a couple of times, not really able to resist the other as he gulped down the foul tasting medicine. When Prowl removed the cube from his lips Jazz felt even /worse/. Suddenly there was nausea hitting him and he felt himself getting sick. His tanks protesting, vents clamping shut on themselves and everything on his HUD became red.

It was no surprise that Jazz suddenly purged, unfortunately in their berth. He groaned before he heaved again, feeling himself grow weak and limp in Prowl's hold after heaving for the third time, expelling everything from his tanks... 

"P-Prowler..." Jazz whimpered, voice barely audible as he felt himself starting to lose consciousness. 

"I'm here, Jazz. Just rest," He whispered into the other's audio as he blacked out.

~

Jazz woke up with a light headache and a spinning room but thankfully after a few moments it cleared up...slightly. At first he couldn't understand what had happened and there was confusion but then the last of his memory files loaded up and he remembered.

Jazz gave something between a groan and a whimper. So he was /still/ allergic. And Prowl hadn't been lying - it didn't feel good. Not one bit.

"Are you feeling better," Prowl questioned as he entered the room and saw that the smaller was awake. 

"...Prowl?" Jazz blinked up blearily at him. "W-what? Was that…was that an allergic reaction?" He asked weakly. 

Prowl smiled sadly at Jazz's pitiful expression, "Yes, dear, that was the allergy I was trying to warn you about and why I told you I cannot allow you out there." He walked further into the room and knelt down at the side of the berth. He rested an arm on the bedding next to Jazz's leg, "I would not keep you here if I did not have good reason too."

Jazz stared at Prowl for a very long moment before he finally lost it. Feeling sick and tired, quite literally, Jazz started to cry. "I'm sorry." He said miserably, "I couldn't take it any more. The walls, the apartment... I wanted out. I wanted out so much..." He felt tears slide from under his visor but he didn't seem to care. "I'm so sorry I lied to you love. I'm really sorry but... Primus, when I went out I was just /so/ happy and the mechs and the colors and the /world/..." He gave another whimper. "I'm a prisoner because of my sickness... how...how did it even start?! How did I live with it before...it's a miracle we met before it got so bad otherwise I dunno what I would've done if I was alone with no one... I-I-I... Oh Prowl, it's not fair." Jazz cried. 

The Praxian lifted a servo and wiped the tears away even as they kept flowing down the other's face, "I don't know, but I thank Primus everyday for finding you." 

Jazz kept crying even as Prowl tried to brush his tears away. "It's not fair. It's not. I don't even have my memories of the outside world from before. Of us. All I have...my /entire/ world is this apartment." He cried, field miserable. "It's not fair. It's not, it's not. And I can't even have my comms or use the Internet because I have a creepy stalker of an ex - Prowl!" Jazz wasn't holding anything in. He couldn't even if he wanted to. "I'm so lonely. I don't want to stay here... I want out...please find a medic, please, please, please...." He felt his core temp rise again but this time he couldn't bring himself to care...

"Shh, Jazz you need to calm down," Prowl placed the wet clothe from the side table back onto Jazz's helm as the other began to overheat, "I will try to find someone who can help, who's heard of your type of allergy, you need to rest though or you will only get worse."

Jazz didn't respond. He just kept crying before he tired himself out and the heat was eating up energy he didn't have to spare. It was no surprise when he fell in recharge not long after his outburst.

~

When Jazz woke again he had a perfect memory of what happened and his conversation with Prowl. He was depressed but no longer emotional enough to make his systems overheat again. But he felt weak. Very weak. Absently he noticed his energy levels were below 20% but was just too sad to care. 

Jazz's visor gave a couple of flickers as he tried to focus it on the mech sitting on the berth next to him. "Prowler?" Jazz asked weakly.

Prowl looked up from his reading and shifted over to Jazz and felt the other's helm. His temperature was down thankfully, "Think you can keep energon down?"

"...Think so, yeah." Jazz murmured quietly. 

Again, Prowl shifted around so he could prop Jazz's helm and shoulders up and pulled a cube of low grade energon from his subspace. He carefully tilted it into Jazz's mouth, not fully trusting of Jazz's strength yet.

Jazz tried to reach with a hand to hold the cube on his own but all he managed to do was simply loosely hold Prowl's hand and the cube the other held as he started to take in sips. His energy started to climb up slowly higher. It would've been faster if it was a higher grade of energon but he understood why Prowl gave him something so low.

Finally, the cube was done and Prowl pulled away. Jazz didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. Or what to do. He just lay next to Prowl.

"Levels?" Prowl questioned as he dispersed the cube and laid Jazz down and shifted till he was comfortably wrapped around the other.

"43% and rising." Jazz mumbled softly, cuddling close to Prowl. 

"Good, you might be able to handle midgrade later today," Prowl commented absently as he held Jazz close but remained fully awake.

"Okay." Jazz said softly and just lay there, resting next to Prowl.

~

Thankfully, Jazz recovered nearly fully over the course of the next few vorns. Prowl made sure he took all of his energon on time and helped speed his recovery as best as he could. 

This orn, instead of waking up curled next to Prowl, Jazz woke up alone in the berth. And not just that...

"...Prowler?" Jazz called out, confused as he tried to shift on the berth. "...W-Why am I tied up?" He asked, confused, trying to move but the ropes didn't allow him much movement.

Prowl swiftly moved through the room as he got everything together for work, only looking at Jazz like an afterthought, "Oh, yes, Jazz," Prowl started as he rounded the berth to check the ropes on Jazz's wrists and ankles, "You disobeyed my order to remain inside my dear, and disobedience requires punishment." 

"P-Punishment?" Jazz stammered as he tried to process what the other said.

Prowl walked back out of the room and was gone for several kliks that it was unknown if he would return until he did.

The white mech moved back to the berth and crawled on it till he was settled between Jazz's spread legs. He smirked as he brushed a servo down Jazz's chassis and side to his inner thigh, "You were very bad, taking my chip and leaving the apartment. You could have very easily died my dear." Ice blue optics bore into Jazz's visor before they snapped back to the smaller's pelvic plating, feeling the smaller mech starting to shake.

He dragged his servo over the other's panel hiding his valve, "Open, please." Prowl purred sweetly to Jazz while his other servo continued to feel up the mech's chassis.

"P-Prowl?" Jazz asked, confused and not a little bit frightened by that word. "W-what do you mean by 'punishment'? What are you doing? You're...you're scaring me."

"Nothing you can't handle, love, now open," He said a bit firmer as he scratched at the smaller's modesty panel.

"Red."

Jazz said quickly, feeling himself shaking. "Red, red, /Red/!" So far Prowl had always stopped when he used that safeword. Maybe Prowl would explain what he had in mind but his actions right now were only putting Jazz in unease. He tried to close his legs but the ropes prevented it. 

"Please Prowler. What punishment? What-what are you talking about?" 

Prowl merely smiled, "We aren't interfacing love. Just a little punishment for leaving like you did," He scratched again at the panel.

"No, Prowl, please." Jazz said, shaking. He didn't like this!

The Praxian leant over Jazz's prone frame and kissed him sweetly on the lips, feeling the other's tremors. "I'm not going to hurt you." He murmured against the smaller's lips as he plugged into one of Jazz's ports much to the smaller's shock and how his firewalls lowered without his consent. Prowl manually released the other's panel, eliciting a shocked cry from Jazz who futily tried to close it back but the command wasn't working. It snapped open with a snick and Prowl pulled away, "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You just said we weren't going to interface!" Jazz said, frightened and struggled against his bonds, "Red!!!"

"Shuuu." Prowl smoothed his servos down Jazz's thighs as he looked at the dry valve before him. Lightly, he brushed his thumb over the other's anterior node which earned him a jerk before he pulled his servo back and removed a container of lubricant from his subspace.

Prowl hummed as he removed the top and coated two digits before he moved them to Jazz's valve and entered. 

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out at the violation. "Please, I-I don't want to..." 

Prowl ignored him and moved his digits around, scissoring when necessary then removed them entirely and relocated them again before doing the same, working Jazz up to arousal even if it was an unwanted one. He even toyed with the anterior node a little before he deemed the other ready and started to fish around in his subspace before he came back out with a thick and rigid toy shaped like a spike, "Now then, onto the punishment."

"Prooooowl!" Jazz was crying now, both distress and arousal in his field as the tears kept sliding down his face. 

The white mech purred as he lined up the toy and toyed with the rim of Jazz's valve for a little bit before spreading some lubricant on it as well. Ignoring Jazz's cries Prowl slowly started to slide it in, occasionally pulling it back before thrusting it in. Eventually the toy was in fully as he pressed it back with his palm, keeping it from getting out. "I hope you learn your lesson after this, love." Prowl murmured. 

Jazz was shaking and panting, tears staining his face, vents working hard to cool his worked up frame both emotionally and physically as he was forced to just lay there and take it. Then, Prowl gave the command for his cover to snap shut much to Jazz's shock, trapping the-the /thing/ inside.

"Primus, Prowl, love, please. I'm sorry." Jazz said, shaking on the berth as he felt his valve unnaturally full. Every movement was stimulating him and he couldn't stop shaking on top of everything. "Please?" Jazz whimpered. "Let's just..let's just... I didn't mean anything bad, I just wanted out- Prowler!"

Without a warning the toy began to vibrate as Prowl smiled down at the immobile mech. "Now, you can't make too much noise, love. The neighbors will complain and how will I ever explain this to them?"

Prowl hummed to himself as he wiped his servos and reached into his subspace again, bringing out something else but it was hard to focus because all Jazz could feel were the sensations in his valve. Jazz cried out as he felt his charge climbing higher and higher, but nothing was strong enough to just push him over the edge.

"Ah, no loud noises." Prowl chastised and before Jazz even realize what was going on something was being shoved in his mouth and strapped to his helm. "There." Prowl purred, "A perfect fit." 

Jazz gave a small whine. He couldn't close his mouth. There was some sort of a ring in it. He shuddered, arching in the berth.

"And now for the finishing touch." Suddenly, Prowl reached and unclipped his visor, taking it away and leaving Jazz in darkness. The crash had destroyed his optics but the medics had managed to reroute his vision to his visor. But it was gone now and Jazz was in the dark and he couldn't /speak/ and primus there was something in his valve!

Finally, Jazz overloaded with what would've been a loud cry but thankfully it wasn't. It left him breathing hard on the berth as the charge started to grow anew, but not as strong this time.

Jazz didn't see Prowl making his way to the door, "I'll be home at the usual time. I want you to lay there and think about what you did wrong and whether you'll be doing it again. Love you." The sound of the main door sliding open and then closed followed by the ominous sound of the lock was mere background noise to the sound of the vibrator.

~

Jazz's frame was molting hot. His charge never did manage to grow as much as that first overload. Instead, all orn he was on the verge of what could be a powerful (even if unwanted) overload. Primus, Jazz actually hoped he would fall offline from the lack of energy since he was spending so much for his vents to keep him cool. But no. All he could do was writhe on the berth, crying both from pleasure and displeasure. Primus, he couldn't even /think/ straight! 

The sound of the front doors lock being disengaged went unheard by the bound and gagged mech and didn't become apparent until a servo brushed over his chest and abdomen. 

"Have you learned your lesson now, Jazz?" Prowl asked softly as he continued to run his servo down the other's frame, only circling his panel and not fully touching it.

He grinned as the other arched and tugged at his bindings. A fresh wave of tears sprouted from his dark optics that Prowl found himself fascinated by as the other shook his helm. He stroked Jazz's cheek in a soothing manner before he pulled himself fully onto the berth and straddled the smaller's throat, earning a loud groan.

"Still full of rebellion I see," Prowl continued as he let his let his panel slide back to let his spike pressurize. He brushed it against Jazz's lips and sat up on his knees to better line up with the other's opened mouth. With deceptive gentleness he placed a servo on Jazz's cheek in order to keep him still, "I do love you, my Jazz. But you are being very difficult at the moment."

Jazz wasn't coherent enough to understand those words as Prowl tilted Jazz's helm towards his frame and slid into the ring gag keeping Jazz's mouth open gaining a sharp jerk from the other. He groaned at the wet heat of the smaller's mouth and began a quick rhythm of thrusting in and out. The noises the bound mech kept making only seemed to stimulate Prowl more.

The combination of Jazz's writhing and the vibrations from his whimpers had Prowl overloading quicker than he expected, emptying in the other's mouth, pressing forward as much as he could. He made sure all of his transfluid slid down the other's throat. Jazz struggled to swallow it all, almost choking. What was more surprising was that Jazz also overloaded, hard. His frame was molting hot and shaking.

Optics half lit looked down to Jazz's face. It was flushed blue from energon and transfluid could be seen trailing from the corners of Jazz's mouth. The other was still now, sated thanks to the powerful overload he had been denied all orn and on the verge of passing out though the vibrator could still be heard and felt. Prowl felt smug for managing to overload the other through simply using his mouth.

"I think you've learned your lesson now, right?" Prowl questioned, not expecting an answer. He plugged into Jazz's systems again and sought out the command to open the other's panel, and swiftly did so once found. He pulled his spike free from the wet orifice and removed the ring gag to give the other the chance to stretch his jaw and speak if he so wished. With care he clipped the other's visor back on and didn't pull away until it flickered on weakly.

Once he was sure the other was a bit more coherent, he moved lower to in between the smaller's legs and found his optics darkening at the amount of lubricant dripping out of the other's valve around the vibrator. He deactivated it and reached forward to grasp the slick toy and leisurely pulled it out of Jazz's valve that seemed to remain clamped around it. His arousal grew at the mere sight and sound of the toy exiting the other's soaked valve.

Jazz was whimpering weakly, frame giving the occasional twitch, but other than that didn't seem to have the energy to even struggle anymore. "P-Pro-prowler, p-p-please n-no more...." Jazz hiccupped. 

Prowl looked at Jazz in confusion, before he slid back to straddle Jazz's hips and hovered over the smaller's helm, "I still haven't heard you say it, Jazz." He tapped the end of the vibrator against Jazz's anterior node in warning, "I'm waiting."

Jazz cried out, buckling. He tried to get away but Prowl was too heavy and he was too low on energy to move. "S-say w-w-what?!" He cried, shaking, unable to focus properly.

Prowl smiled down at the confused bot, "Oh, my dear. Have you already forgotten what the punishment was for?"

Jazz gave another choke before he forced himself to focus, shaking his helm in the negative. "I-I won't g-go out." He stammered. "W-without y-your p-permission." 

The Praxian's optics brightened, "I won't be so kind next time." With surprised gentleness, Prowl kissed Jazz on the lips before he leisurely moved to the other's bindings to set him free. "Would you like anything special in your energon today, love?" He questioned offhandedly.

Jazz just hiccupped a couple of time, curling his hands to his frame when Prowl released him, shaking his helm in the negative. He just...he just wanted to be left alone. And shower. 

Once done with Jazz's bonds, Prowl moved back to press a kiss to the smaller's dark helm before he pulled away completely. He rolled up the other's bindings neatly and headed for the door, "I will be back shortly."

Jazz was left there breathing hard on the berth before he forced himself to sit up with a wince. His frame was a mess, with a puddle of...transfluid between his legs. Jazz winced, disgusted and managed to stumble out of the berth. He pulled the covers, throwing them on the ground before making his way with difficulty toward the wash racks.

It was hard to focus and he couldn't stop crying no matter how hard he tried. Why was he so upset? It...it was a punishment? His pre-installed definition of the word, along with his actions made sense to Jazz that Prowl would 'punish' him but why.... why was he so upset? Why was he feeling this way?

Unable to answer those questions Jazz started the shower but he was just so tired... Jazz crumbled to the floor, just sitting there under the running water and staring blindly ahead. This was...confusing. Why would Prowl do this? He...he deserved it but...

Jazz shook his helm. He didn't understand his feelings. They didn't mix with what he knew about the situation. But the water was soothing. It was washing away his tears and stains of transfluid. Not his feelings, but... it was the best he had felt since waking up. Jazz shuttered his visor.

"Jazz?" Prowl questioned as he made his way into the washracks but stopped when he saw the smaller on the floor. Carefully he set the energon to the side before he walked over to Jazz. 

He looked into Jazz's blank visor for a moment before he completely disappeared from Jazz's line of vision to retrieve a washcloth and some soaps. Silently he poured some liquid soap onto the cloth and walked back over to Jazz sitting under the spray, "You could have told me if you wanted to shower first." Prowl admonished lightly as he scrubbed the other's frame down.

Jazz flinched lightly at the other's touch but other than that didn't move. His visor flickered back weakly on but his look was just as lost as before. "...Y-you love me?" Jazz whispered as Prowl worked. "You said it...you-you keep calling me love. Th-that must mean you love me?"

Prowl's optics brightened as he lightly brushed Jazz's cheek with the cloth when he suddenly dropped it to instead wrap Jazz up into his arms, "Of course I love you." He stroked Jazz's helm and horns in a soothing manner while he continued, "You could have died, Jazz. What am I supposed to do if that were to happen?" 

Jazz felt himself shake harder at the other's arms around him, at his words, "…You hurt me so much..." He croaked, shaking, "I-I said red so many times. Red. Red. Red. Even my visor was red. But you still left for work. You-you left me... I-I... Mechs who love each other...why did you hurt me...." He started to cry again, feeling broken in Prowl's arms.

"My intention was not to harm you but to teach you a lesson. To keep you from doing it again," Prowl replied calmly as he pulled Jazz's face back so he could look into his visor properly, "I have no intention of /leaving/ you."

Jazz stared back into Prowl's optics, field sad. "...Please don't do it again."

"As long as you give me a reason not to do it, I won't," Prowl answered carefully as he pulled back and started to help the smaller rinse off before he turned the water off completely. 

Prowl stood once the water was off and headed to the far side of the wracks to grab a large towel to wrap the smaller in. "Think you can manage some energon after this?" He asked gently while he dried Jazz's helm.

"Maybe." Jazz whispered. He really didn't feel like fueling. He reached with a hand and brushed his jaw, which was still very sore. "W-what was that thing? Why do you e-even have it?"

The taller shuttered his optics in surprise; "It was yours...before the crash."

"...It's a pity." Jazz said quietly, "That Jazz is dead. I'm... I'm trying to rediscover him but... it's like he's not me."

"Then we'll just have to learn what you like," Prowl stated as he finished up drying the other's armor and directed him back to the berthroom right after he handed Jazz his energon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mostly all interfacing in this chapter - like the tag says, PWSP
> 
> sorry for any errors in grammar or spelling

It was a few orns later after the "incident" and Jazz was still shaken up by it. A lot more twitchy and fidgety but slowly getting better. He shied away from contact but once he felt it was platonic or Prowl starting to pet him it was all he wanted. The 'incident' and his trip outside weren't mentioned anymore. And thankfully, Prowl didn't push for interfacing. 

Which is why Jazz went with trepidation into the berth room when the Praxian called him. He was sitting on the berth, holding a medium sized case. 

"...Prowler?" Jazz asked quietly, hesitant.

Prowl smiled gently at the smaller mech when he entered the room and patted the seat next to him on the berth, "I'd like to show you something. Something your past self enjoyed and I hope that you might as well."

Once Jazz neared the berth, always eager to learn about his past self and was close enough to see, Prowl opened the case to reveal several collars lined up. They ranged from color and decoration, some had hanging pieces while some had spikes and others had nothing but color and Prowl's glyph embossed on them.

"...W-what are those?" Jazz asked quietly, looking at the items curiously. "...They were mine?"

The taller nodded as he carefully pulled one out and held it out for Jazz, "What do you think?"

"I-I don't know." Jazz said, hesitantly taking the offered collar and looked it over. This one was red and had Prowl's designation on a piece that was hanging from it. "Are they jewelry?"

"Of a sort," Prowl stated as he watched Jazz inspect the piece, "We had a /special/ relationship. You had a thing for showing off your ownership."

"... Ownership?" Jazz repeated the word quietly. He looked at Prowl, confused. "What do you mean?"

Prowl gave a soft sigh. "Remember those first orns when you came back from the hospital? When I explained to you how one mate stays at home and is subordinate and the other one goes to work?" He waited for Jazz to nod before resuming. "I omitted some things because you were still not quite well with your brand new memory core and the last thing I wanted to do was overwhelm you. But as you've noticed recently, my true self showed its helm, especially when you went outside and caused yourself pain. I had to punish you, I had to teach you a lesson. Do you understand?"

Jazz hesitated. "...I think so." He looked down at the collar, uncertain. 

"I believe it's time we return to how things used to be. To how /I/ used to be." Prowl said.

"...How were things before? Why...was our relationship special?" Jazz asked, uncertain, almost afraid of the answer. 

Prowl smiled at the others unease, "I can see it when we interface. You like the loss of control yet fear it, but you can't help but enjoy it." Prowl explained as he brushed a servo over Jazz's cheek and down to his neck, "Just as you did then, you do now. You like our rough interfacing, how I put you in your place."

He moved his servo up to stroke an audio horn before he pinched it suddenly and elicited a yelp. Prowl grinned at the confused yet aroused field Jazz projected at the move, "You think it's wrong to feel that way, but it's not." Prowl cupped Jazz's cheek in one servo while the other travelled to Jazz's own still holding the collar.

The confusion was thick in Jazz's field as he stared down at Prowl's hand, "...I feel so lost. I don't...I don't even understand what I'm feeling more than half the time." He hesitated before looking away. "It is true that I enjoy the interfacing... most of the time. But the other half is filled with...with fear. That's something I think I-I don't like. But you're now telling me otherwise. How? How is it possible to like something you fear? I just...." Finally Jazz looked up at Prowl, "Prowl, I don't understand /anything/ anymore..."

"Jazz, do you trust me?" Prowl questioned seriously, still holding the other's face in his servo.

"I..." Jazz hesitated. Did he? "Yes. You...you're my world. Of course I trust you. I love you."

Prowl stared as though weighing the other's words before he pressed their helms together, "Oh, my Jazz. Our relationship is built on trust." He pulled back and gently took the collar from Jazz's servo, "As long as you trust me, you have nothing to fear. I will take care of you in all ways." 

"...Okay." Jazz said softly, gazing down to the collar Prowl held, feeling himself shake a little. "I...trust you."

With those words, Prowl leant forward to secure the collar around Jazz's neck while his field wrapped around the smaller like a safety blanket.

The collar was on and Jazz pulled back, reaching with a hand to touch it around his neck. It was snug but not in a choking manner. He was pretty sure he would even forget he wore one if he stayed with it a little while longer. But still...

...Somewhere in the back of his mind, it kept repeating over and over again: Red, red, red, red, red.

Jazz decided to keep his word: he would trust Prowl. "...I wore them all the time?" He asked, quietly, looking at the other uncertain. 

"You did," Prowl replied as he looked back through the box, "There are an assortment of different ones you would wear. Some for specific /scenes/ in the berthroom and some for everyday wear."

"Oh." Jazz murmured, looking down back at the box before lifting his gaze to Prowl again. "I understand." At the implication Jazz understood what the other meant and shuddered, "Please, please, please don't put that thing in me again. Please?"

White servos cupped Jazz's cheeks, "That was a punishment, Jazz. I wouldn't under normal circumstances leave you like that." 

Jazz nodded, helm still in Prowl's hands and found himself soon hugging and being hugged back by the other. 

Prowl held the other close and carefully maneuvered the box of collars to the side table before he pulled Jazz onto the berth with him to just hold.

Jazz snuggled close, enjoying the calm orn.

~

A couple of orns had passed since Jazz had started wearing his collar, which had Prowl very pleased and his field projected that pleasure every night he came home to see the smaller in it. They'd finished energon and were ready to retire to their berth when Prowl had chosen to go to the washracks instead. 

He left it up to Jazz if the other wanted to follow him or not, but left the other curious as he removed a few pieces of his armor and left them in front of the door to the washracks. 

The action did surprise Jazz. So far he had never seen anyone remove their armor. Could they even /do/ that? Though his definition of anyone was Prowl, since before the hospital he hadn't seen anyone but him and a couple of medics, but they were all very professional with him. Maybe this was normal but he had no idea of knowing?

Curious, Jazz knocked on the washracks door and when he heard Prowl he peaked in, "...Prowler?" He didn't even know how to phrase his question. "...What are you doing?"

Prowl met Jazz's visor as he finished removing the armor over his chest and spark, "Using the washracks...what does it look like I'm doing?" The taller questioned as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

"...But you're taking off pieces of yourself..." Jazz trailed off uncertainly. "Your armor..."

The Praxian looked down at himself in confusion and then back to Jazz, "It's my /armor/, same as yours. It's not /us/ but more a covering, protection from the outside."

"...But /why/?" Jazz asked, completely confused. "Why are you taking it off?"

"So I can wash underneath it of course. I'm surprised your protoform hasn't agitated you yet," He responded, "I had thought the information packet would have mentioned it."

"No…?" Jazz asked more than said and dared himself to fully enter the washracks, letting the door close behind him. "I didn't know we could do that. Isn't it.., well, weird?" 

"For some. It's not uncommon to /undress/ in front of loved ones," he answered calmly, "There are even a few places where it's done in public for relaxation."

"There is?" Jazz asked surprised again as he slowly went closer to Prowl. His expression fell, saddened. "... It doesn’t matter. Not like I'll experience it. Not like I'll know... Primus." He buried his face in his hands, "I know almost /nothing/. This is how a youngling probably feels." Jazz looked up at Prowl. "Totally clueless."

Prowl gingerly took a step closer to the smaller and took him into his arms, "You can still experience it here and who knows, maybe one day a cure will be found. That is the plan anyway." Prowl assured as he pulled Jazz over to where he was 'undressing' moments ago. "Would you like to experience it in the washracks, at least?"

Jazz blinked at Prowl, feeling the protoform under his hands. He placed a hand over the other's chest, spreading his fingers. "...Yeah. But doesn't it feel...odd?" Though the curious note in his field was hard to miss. "I don't even know /how/ to take it off..."

"Would you like some help then?" Prowl questioned as he moved his servos to Jazz's shoulders where the hidden clasps would be.

"If it's no trouble." Jazz offered the other a shy smile. "I've always showered with the armor wrong in this case... why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Prowl chuckled as he began to remove the smaller's armor, "You weren't doing it wrong." Carefully he placed Jazz's armor to the side, "It's not wrong to shower with your armor as it does need to be cleaned as well, but it's more relaxing without."

"Oh." Jazz said rather dumbly as he observed the other, a small smile gracing his lips. "So it's normal for mechs to take off their armor... is it normal for them to walk around without it? Is it something private like with the cover hiding the interfacing equipment?"

"More private, something that's frowned upon outside but smiled upon, behind closed doors." 

"Okay..." Jazz trailed off as more and more of his armor kept getting taken off. "Feels weird." He said in a light chuckle, arms and forearms already bare of armor and when Prowl took off the armor from his chest without even thinking he lifted his hands to try and cover himself as the other kept working. 

Prowl paused at Jazz's actions, but simply smiled as he placed the larger piece of armor to the side, "Nothing I haven't seen, love."

"Right." Jazz gave a nervous smile, belatedly realizing that he hadn't been smiling much since his 'punishment'. It felt nice to smile again, especially when looking at his love. After another brief hesitation he lowered his hands showing Prowl his protoform. The other was right - he had seen it countless times before. 

A couple of breems later Prowl had all of Jazz's armor off, minus the one covering his interfacing array and only because Jazz had been reluctant. The visored mech squirmed. "...S'gonna sound weird but I feel really, really exposed." Another nervous laugh. "This is so weird..."

"You've been used to wearing your armor all the time since you woke up from the accident," Prowl replied simply, "I assure you it will be much more comfortable in berth though."

Jazz nodded. "Okay..." He lifted a hand to the collar, currently the only thing left on his frame. Another nervous laugh and he couldn't help himself but shift forward to press against Prowl and use the other's frame to hide his own. Without the armor everything was hypersensitive. "...How was it possible for us to feel so accurately with the armor on? It's so...strange." But even so it felt wonderful pressing his bare chest against Prowl's.

"Hidden sensors," Prowl commented as he stroked his servos up Jazz's back and dragged him toward the shower itself. He adjusted the spray till they were both comfortable and just let the spray wash over them before his servos started to wander.

Jazz felt himself responding to the touches, feeling for what they were. He gasped softly and almost slipped, feeling himself grow hotter thanks to Prowl's wandering touches and the heat from the falling water.

"Prowler." Jazz breathed, hesitant to return the touches. Hesitant to allow himself to respond even to the ones he was receiving now. "...I..." He didn't dare say out loud that he was scared. It was /absurd/! He shouldn't be scared. But...he was.

Prowl pressed a soft kiss to Jazz's helm, "Feel free to touch." Servos moved to Jazz's own and gently moved them to his own frame, "I'm not going to harm you."

Jazz nodded, hesitantly starting to explore the other's frame without armor. Prowl's shoulders didn't seem so broad now and his edges were softer... Jazz found out that he was even more sensitive as he reached to touch the base of the other's door-wings, getting on his toes for a kiss from the other in the mean time. "Prowler..." He murmured, feeling his visor darken in arousal. 

The larger chuckled and leant down to meet Jazz's lips while his servos slid under Jazz's aft and swiftly lifted him up so his legs were wrapped around Prowl's waist.

Jazz made a startled sound, squeezing his legs harder to make sure he didn't fall but other than that he lost himself into the kiss. He felt...lighter without the armor, just as Prowl seemed slightly smaller, but his door-wings made up for that. 

Prowl grinned as he pressed Jazz up against the shower wall and lavished attention on the smaller's neck while his servos groped Jazz's aft. His wings hiked up and spread out to fan the water still coming from the showerhead.

Jazz gasped, feeling trapped between the wall and the mech pressing him against it, without thinking shifting his helm up to the give the other better access. He didn't even notice that his hands were starting to softly scrape the other's bare protoform, squeezing from time to time as he felt the heat accumulate behind his closed panel. But.../red, red, red/. The light was still flashing in the back of his mind.

Jazz mewed in frustration and arousal. "Make me not afraid." He begged Prowl, shuddering in his hold.

The taller paused in his ministrations and pulled back to look Jazz in the visor, "Do you wish to interface?" He asked gently, giving Jazz the option to back out if he wanted.

Jazz kissed Prowl again before resting his forehelm against the others. "...Yeah. I-I want you to make me feel good." He shuddered. "You always make me feel good. J-Just promise that red counts this time?"

"It counts," Prowl whispered into Jazz's audio as he turned the shower off.

Jazz made another soft sound, shuttering his visor. "T-then yes. /Yes/!" He stole another kiss, "I love you."

Swiftly, Prowl swept them from the washracks with a large towel in tow that he quickly had wrapped around Jazz. He threw the smaller, towel and all onto their plush berth before he crawled after him to link their mouths. 

Servos kneaded at Jazz's protoform while he rocked his hips into the smallers still closed panel. 

Jazz moaned into the kiss, melting into the towel and soft berth under him as he retracted his panel, shuddering in pleasure as his intimates were exposed to the cooler temperature of the room. He tried to return as good as he got, tracing his fingers over the spots that drove Prowl mad, all the while kissing his neck.

Prowl growled into Jazz's throat while his wings fanned out behind him, making him look bigger. He snaked a servo down Jazz's frame and in between his legs and worked two digits inside. Denta nipped at Jazz's neck cables and jaw while he wiggled his digits inside the other's valve.

Jazz felt small under Prowl, especially now with no armor. Not only that, but every nip and claw was ten times stronger. Prowl pressing him into the berth made him feel trapped and then the other was touching his heat and Jazz bucked, not that he had much room to work with. 

"Prowl..." Jazz moaned quietly, visor offline, trailing his hands over the other's naked frame.

Prowl hummed against the smallers throat and moved his free servo to gently maneuver Jazz's own servos above his helm. There, he pinned the other's wrists in one servo while he continued to play with the other until he felt Jazz was ready. 

He released his own panel to let his spike extend and leisurely rubbed it over Jazz's anterior node, "You're doing good, love."

Jazz gave another soft gasp, arching again the other. "Prowler," Jazz mewed, visor still off, "N-no fair. Wanna make you feel good too..." He bucked against the other again as he felt the other's spike tease him. He onlined his visor to a dark blue and lifted his helm to look. Surprise and pleasure mingled in his field. 

"...Y-you're going to-to spike me?" He was so sure the other would use his fingers again. "N-never done that before." Jazz shuddered, visor flickering off again. 

Prowl growled possessively as he scissored with his digits, "That's the plan." 

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out at the sudden rough handling, pleasure flaring in his field as he lost all processing power.

The larger hummed into his throat again in a calming fashion while he massaged Jazz's inner walls. He dragged his spike back and forth over Jazz's node and just listened to the sounds the other was making.

The visored mech resorted to just mewing and whimpering in pleasure, unable to form any coherent sentences. He was close. He was so very close and Jazz had grown to love all the overloads Prowl gave him. And this time, the other would use his spike. Jazz had wondered many times why Prowl just played with him but it was something he assumed the other preferred so Jazz didn't question him. But now his curiosity was piqued and when he could think again Jazz wanted to ask.

Prowl smiled down at him and slowly slid his digits out from Jazz's opening. He leant down to kiss the other on the lips, whether the other registered it or not, he couldn't tell. He shifted in place between Jazz's legs to get in position and carefully lined up with the other's valve.

Jazz felt himself overheating as every touch on his frame felt molten. Now with no armor he felt just how warm the other was and just... the naked touch between their frames was a unique feeling, prompting Jazz to arch against Prowl more, unable to hold still.

"Getting impatient, I see," Prowl commented with a smirk as he nudged the head of his spike forward till it prodded Jazz's valve opening. He remained still after to test Jazz's reaction while he used his free servo to stroke Jazz's anterior node.

Jazz mewed, close to sobbing, "P-Prowler, p-please..." Blindly he shook his helm, feeling his frame burning.

He rubbed the node faster while he slid in more, "Like this?" He teased as he rocked in place, still not entering fully.

Jazz tried to say something but in the end he couldn't help but arch as overload suddenly tore through his frame, gaining a soft cry from the visored mech, feeling his frame seize as pleasure spread inside and over him.

Prowl groaned as Jazz's walls squeezed him, but took the opportunity to slide all the way in until their pelvice plating touched. He moved closer to an audio horn, "You're going to love this next part," He whispered and gave a parting lick to the smallers audio before he pulled back. He gripped one of Jazz's hips in his free servo and slowly pulled out before he rammed back in.

This time Jazz didn't stay long in his post-overload bliss but rather came to something else instead. He felt a fullness like he had never felt before and when he was coherent enough (as much as he could be in this situation) blinked hazily that the other was pushing in and out of him.

"P-Prowl..." Jazz groaned, arching his helm back as the fullness was just on the side of pain. But Primus did it feel /good/. Their frames were different and it showed most clearly now. Without even realizing it Jazz tried to spread his legs more to try and ease some of the strain he was feeling but... "Primus!" He cried out as the other pressed back in.

Prowl grunted as he continued a medium pace, making sure Jazz would feel everything and in turn bringing himself to a slow overload. He panted while he worked and gazed over the smallers arching frame and dragged his servo from Jazz's hip to one of his inner thighs and pressed it flat against the berth. 

He felt his charge begin to peak when Jazz began to move his hips in small motions, partially meeting his own. Prowl groaned as he hilted his spike and wrapped his arms around the smallers frame to pull tight against his frame. 

Jazz gave another cry, this time loader as another overload tore through him when Prowl pressed him close, spike buried and all that transfluid flooding his valve. His visor was already dark so all Jazz managed to do was lay there, slumped and allow the overload to pass, feeling his valve for the first time since the punishment full, but in a much, much more pleasant way. Without the armor to hide it Jazz noticed when his visor flickered weakly to life that his abdomen had swollen slightly, the transfluid trapped until Prowl would pull out his spike.

Jazz made a soft sound of pleasure, field content as he lay there exhausted and sated under Prowl. "W-wow." He whispered, voice laced slightly with static.

Prowl smiled down smuggly at the debauched frame beneath him. Carefully not to dislodge his spike, he pulled back and shifted one of Jazz's legs up and around till both of his legs were on Prowl's right side. With some more maneuvering, Prowl laid himself down right behind the smaller's back and wrapped an arm around his waist. His servo massaged over the slight distention in the other's belly and snapped his hips up to be better seated within the smaller.

Jazz gave a small yelp, startled by the odd action. Exhaustion could be clearly detected in his pleasure-laced field as he tried to look back at the other. "Prowler?" Jazz asked quietly, almost slurring. "W-what are ya doin'...?" He shifted a little, still feeling the other inside along with the sensation of being full.

"Getting comfortable," Prowl replied as he pulled the other against his chest and slipped one leg between Jazz's, "You can recharge, love."

"N-not gonna pull out? Feel full." Jazz murmured, feeling his visor flicker out despite himself

Prowl chuckled lightly at the other's slurred words and tilted his hips back to relieve some of the pressure. Transfluid flowed out of the smaller thickly, before Prowl shifted his hips back into place and trapped the rest inside, "Better?"

"Mm, better..." Jazz said, barely above a whisper. "Love you..."

Prowl smiled and tucked his helm into the smaller's shoulder, "Love you too."

~

Jazz woke up a couple of times the next morning. The first time was to shift better against Prowl, still rather full with the other inside. Prowl didn't let him move much though, pulling Jazz close and keeping him there.

The second time Jazz woke up was when he felt movement behind him and suddenly emptiness when Prowl pulled out his spike. Relief as his stomach was no more bulged and even though there was transfluid in the berth Jazz felt far too good to try and get up.

The third time was when Jazz woke up fully and properly. He was still missing all of his armor, and his valve was still exposed when he got up from the berth. It was late and Jazz knew Prowl was at work at this time so he went to the washracks and cleaned up from their nightly activities before going and doing the same to the berth.

That's when it got odd. Where was his armor? It wasn't in the washracks where Prowl had taken it off, neither in the berth room. Jazz checked the other rooms just in case, even the closets - nothing! 

In the end Jazz figured Prowl probably put it away somewhere and wrapped himself in a blanket to somewhat get rid of the feeling of feeling "naked" and exposed before settling on the couch with a nice cube of energon, reading (or actually re-reading because he had read almost everything in this apartment) the lyrics and music pad with music sheets on them until Prowl came home.

The door beeped its usual pattern before it admitted Prowl into the apartment. Prowl smiled as he caught sight of Jazz on the couch and chuckled lightly at the blanket the other was wrapped in, "Problem, love?" 

"Ah, not really." Jazz grinned at him shyly, wrapping the blanket better around himself. "I just can't find my armor. Where did you hide it?"

Prowl didn't answer as he walked into the kitchen to fix himself some energon before he made his way to the couch to sit next to Jazz. He sipped his energon while he also pulled out a medium to large case from his subspace and place it on the table in front of them.

"What's that?" Jazz asked curious. "Don't tell me you hid my armor there." He chuckled.

"Open it," Prowl spoke up and slid it closer to Jazz, giving no hint if it was his armor or not.

Jazz allowed the blanket around himself to fall, intrigued by the strange case and carefully opened it. He made a soft sound of surprise when he recognized the instrument.

"It's a harp!" He said, amazed before looking at Prowl surprised, "Where did you get it? Can I touch it?"

"Feel free to touch it, it's yours now," Prowl replied, hiding a smile behind his energon at the other's sudden excitement.

"Mine? Really?" Jazz asked, disbelieving as he carefully pulled it out of its casing and dared himself to run his fingers over the strings, smiling at the soft notes. With care Jazz placed it on the small table next to the couch and hugged Prowl. "Thank you! I love it!"

Prowl returned the hug by pulling the smaller into his lap, "You're welcome." 

~

Jazz spent the better part of the next couple of orns playing and practicing with his harp before he brought up the subject of his armor again to his lover.

"Prowler, c'mon, why won't you give it back?" Jazz asked, harp in his lap and blanket still held loosely around him. "I'm naked!"

Prowl glanced up from his reading to stare at the other, "I don't see anything wrong with how you are. This is our home afterall." Prowl replied nonchalant as he went back to reading, "Besides...I like you this way."

Jazz felt himself blushing. "B-but you... At least give me my valve cover." He fumbled with words before trying again, "I feel uncomfortable..."

Prowl sighed and shut off his datapad and gestured for Jazz to come closer while he pulled out the other's cover from his subspace.

Jazz went next to Prowl, making sure the blanket covered his still exposed valve. He knew it wasn't necessary. Prowl had told him that many times but he still felt the need to do it. Jazz reached for the cover.

The Praxian pulled the blanket down and pulled the smaller closer. He teasingly licked Jazz's exposed node before he gingerly put the other's cover back in place, "Better?"

The action earned him a loud yelp before Jazz shuddered in his hold. "Trying to get me to take it off again?" Jazz chuckled, cuddling close. "And now the rest?"

"I like you too much like this to give the rest back," Prowl murmured against Jazz's belly, right above his panel.

"But I'm naked all the time, Prowler." Jazz said just as softly, gently petting Prowl's helm. "All I have on is the collar. It feels weird..."

"I don't understand why you feel /weird/," The taller spoke up as he stroked over where Jazz's tanks would be, "It's just you and I."

Prowl paused to look up into Jazz's visor, "If it's too cold, we can turn the temperature up."

"Sometimes," Jazz said, cupping Prowl's cheek, "But I use the blanket during the orn and you warm me during the night. But that's not the point. It's confusing, really, but it's just something I feel..." He gazed at Prowl softly, "Is it something you really, really like?"

The Praxian turned his helm into Jazz's palm and kissed it sweetly, "It is. It's something private and special."

Jazz hesitated, giving a soft hum when Prowl kissed his hand and resumed with his other hand gently petting Prowl's helm. "I guess since I'm not going out I can stay like this..." He paused, uncertain how to ask this next question, "...Prowler, did I have friends?"

"I don't know if I'd call them friends. They abandoned you shortly after you broke off your last relationship with /their/ friend," Prowl replied smoothly.

Shock rippled in Jazz's field at that and it was a struggle not to get upset. "...I see." He murmured sadly. "Forget I asked..."

"There's nothing to be upset about, you're here with me," Prowl started as he sat back and pulled Jazz into his lap, "If they were really your friends they would have stayed by you through it all."

Jazz nodded, cuddling close to Prowl and shifting his arms in a loose embrace. "I'm lucky to have you." He murmured and planted a kiss on prowl's cheek before nuzzling him.

"As I'm blessed to have you," The Praxian purred into Jazz's neck and gently laid the smaller back onto the couch. "It has been a while since we last interfaced, yes," Prowl stated while he kissed down Jazz's armorless frame and stopped at his now covered valve panel. Optics flickered up to Jazz for permission.

"A while?" Jazz gave a fond laugh. "It's only been a few orns, week at most a think." But the cover snapped open, anticipation growing in Jazz's field.

Prowl nipped lightly at Jazz's node before he went down on the smallers valve. White digits absently toyed with the node while Prowl quickly worked him up to a fast overload.

Jazz laid there on the couch, panting. Prowl had learned how to overload him faster and faster until he could perfectly play him like a music instrument. 

"Prowler..." Jazz breathed in his post overloadal bliss. He blinked blearily when he felt something cold touch his lips.

Prowl held out the ring gag for Jazz to see before he positioned it into Jazz's open and willing mouth, "I'd like to try something and I think you'll like it." Prowl purred against one of Jazz's audio horns.

There was apprehension in Jazz's field at the ring as it reminded him of the punishment but oddly as always, the fear only made him run hotter. He nodded when Prowl secured it firmly on his face and just watched what the other had in mind.

Lightly he stroked Jazz's cheek before he directed his attention back to the other's lower regions. He slid his own panel back and stroked his spike to full pressurization before he moved it to the other's entrance, "Don't forget your /colors/ Jazz."

Jazz nodded his helm even visor turning green.

Prowl smiled warmly at the smaller and pushed forward till their hips met. His frame hummed in pleasure as Jazz's walls squeezed him so good. 

"Good still?" Prowl questioned.

Jazz nodded, giving also another moan of pleasure as Prowl's spike filled him wonderfully almost to the point of hurting but not quite, especially after the first overload.

Taking that as a positive, Prowl grabbed Jazz's spread legs by his thighs and lifted them up to use to anchor him. He groaned as he slowly pulled out and then rammed back in with the grip he had on Jazz's thighs.

Jazz cried out as best as he could with the mouth ring on, taking the pleasure he was offered, surrendering to it as his valve gave nothing but pleasure.

Prowl grunted as he upped his pace and actually lifted the smallers lower half off the couch for a better angle. He continued thrusting as the other gave no sign that he /wasn't/ enjoying himself. 

He groaned in mild agitation, as it took longer than expected to find his own peak. Swiftly he pulled out of the smaller and helped Jazz turn onto his hands and knees before he re-entered from behind. White servos pulled the smaller tight against his frame while he found a better rhythm and actually bit the smaller on the shoulder.

Optics flashed a pale white when the action caused the smaller's valve to unexpectedly clench down on his spike hard. Wings flared out to disperse the heat as electricity sparked over the smallers frame and into his own, pushing him over the edge himself. 

Prowl groaned as he released into the smaller and continued to roll his hips into the other's wet heat. His servo slid down the other's belly from behind and felt where the other's gestation had distanded slightly. The feel of lubricant and transfluid trickling down the other's inner thigh was telling as Prowl quickly pulled back and activated Jazz's panel to slide closed, trapping their essence within.

With the same care as he'd used to position Jazz, he helped the smaller turn back over to lay on his back before he moved up to his face. Prowl grinned down at the smaller's flushed face and gently tapped Jazz's bottom lip with the head of his still overly sensitive spike, "Ready for round two?"

There was surprise in Jazz's pleasure laced field. The confusion from prowl's previous actions could still be detected but he was feeling far too good to allow his fears and worries get the better of him.

Jazz's visor flashed orange. He wanted things to continue, but was close to his comfort zone. He had learned by now that this was his favorite color in their game.

"This isn't a punishment Jazz, remember that," Prowl reminded as he moved off of the couch and pulled Jazz to the arm at the end of it. He helped Jazz drape his helm over the end of the couch and aligned his spike through the ring gag, "Just relax."

But it was easier said than done. His valve was full so any and all movement caused him to feel the transfluid still trapped in him, an odd mixture of uncomfortable and pleasure, heightened by how powerless he was.

Prowl slid in easily through the gag, transfluid and lubricant from their prior interface slicking the movement. He stroked Jazz's throat, feeling the other's throat tubing constrict and contract around his spike. Jazz was fighting him at first, choking, but with Prowl's help managed to relax enough for the other to be fully inside. The position took strain off of Jazz's jaw and gave the perfect angle for Prowl to thrust into the smaller as deeply as he could.

He grunted and picked up his pace as he took a hold of the back of Jazz's helm, earning himself a groan against his spike. Prowl didn't last long, his spike hyper sensitive to every stroke and shift of the other's throat tubing. He groaned when he suddenly overloaded and this time went still as his spike shot transfluid down the smallers throat. Jazz winced, arousal thick in his field as it all started to go down to his tanks. Prowl gingerly pulled back till only the head of his spike was blocking the ring gags opening and filled the smallers mouth, forcing Jazz's cheeks to puff out.

Prowl unclasped the ring gag from behind Jazz's helm and pulled out from the other's mouth, quickly pressing his hand so none of the transfluid could come out. Optics half shuttered at the sight of the smaller's slightly distended belly, to the lasting trail of the other's lubricant mixed with his transfluid between his legs and the trickle of transfluid at the corner of Jazz's mouth. He looked completely debauched and Prowl loved it, "You look quite lovely full of my transfluid."

And Jazz felt full, especially his valve. The transfluid tasted weird and he didn't want to swallow, but Prowl didn't let him pull away. Charge grew in Jazz as his frame started to shake, both from arousal and helplessness.

"Swallow, love," Prowl cajoled while he stroked over Jazz's chest where his spark lay beneath. 

Jazz shook his helm. He didn't want to swallow because he already felt so full. Primus, why was his charge growing still? Prowl wasn't even doing anything!

"I'd rather you swallow then choke from an overload, Jazz," He whispered teasingly against an audio horn before he licked a trail up said horn.

In the end it was reflex that forced Jazz to swallow otherwise he really would've chocked. With his airway free Jazz cried out softly as Prowl's glossa felt like fire on his audios.

"Isn't that better, love?" Prowl questioned, wanting Jazz to give him an answer while his servos danced just around the smallers sensitive audios.

Jazz whimpered in pleasure, so close to an overload he could barely think, "F-feel full." He groaned, trying not to buckle in Prowls hold.

"You look full too," Prowl commented sweetly as he purred against an audio horn, his servo gripping the other.

Jazz cried out suddenly in overload, the sound stimuli coupled with Prowl's fingers on his other horn was more than enough to send him tumbling from the edge. 

Jazz convulsed in Prowl's hold, every movement making the transfluid in him also move. By the end of the overload Jazz was left panting, visor off.

"You're going to recharge well tonight," The white mech smiled down at him before he carefully took the smaller into his arms, "I doubt you're in the mood for energon right now." 

Jazz made a soft sound of protest at the mentioned of energon and rested a hand over his abdomen. Primus his valve felt snug and full. "Washracks?" He asked, still dazed from the multitude of overloads.

Prowl glanced down at Jazz in mock confusion, "No, berth."

Jazz forced his visor to online to a weak blue hue. "B-but the transfluid..." he trailed off, blushing.

"Is right where it should be," He laid Jazz onto their berth and positioned him on his side before Prowl crawled in so they were lying chest to chest. He slipped a leg between Jazz's legs and up against the smallers closed panel, "Go to recharge Jazz."

"B-but Prowler..." Jazz's visor flickered offline, unable to stay on as most of his systems were already entering recharge but tried to shift away from Prowl's leg.

"Recharge," Prowl murmured as he covered Jazz's mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting 2 chapters today so this chapter is pretty short in comparison

It was around several weeks later when Jazz stared uncertainly at the object that Prowl held, legs spread, bent in the knees and still breathing hard from his previous overload through Prowl's glossa alone.

"W-what is it?" It was small and odd-looking.

"It's a clip," Prowl started, showing Jazz how it opened, "Specifically for your anterior node." The Praxian continued as he stroked his digits over said swollen node.

Without even thinking Jazz's visor flared in orange as he gasped when Prowl touched him again. "C-clip?" He trailed off uncertainly, for a moment fear flaring in his field. He didn't know what it did but he knew he should be worried. "What does it do?"

Prowl pushed the other back, easily tipping him off balance from his current position and slid his servo down Jazz's abdomen, "It heightens sensation." He purred against Jazz's thigh as he clipped it onto Jazz's node.

Jazz suddenly cried out.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" The visored mech cried out, flinching at the contact as suddenly he felt pleasure and pain battling with each other, not even Prowl's bites and claws were able to draw this out from him. "Hurts, really, really hurts!" Yet pleasure was flaring in his field. He buckled against Prowl. How could something causing him pain make him feel good?

"Your field says otherwise," Prowl remarked as he lined his spike up with Jazz's waiting valve. "You need to relax a little or you're going to hurt yourself," He slid forward and hilted himself inside the other. Both servos were planted to either side of Jazz's frame as he began to pump his hips in and out.

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out as the signals he received were a mix of the two. "Ow, ow, ow! It hurts!" He groaned as Prowl's spike hit some of his deeper sensors in his valve, turning off his visor and clenched his fists by his side. This was the most vocal he had ever been since he could remember. "/Prowl/!" Jazz cried out in pleasure and pain, overwhelmed by the intensity of what he was feeling.

The Praxian grunted as he slammed his hips into Jazz's. One servo snuck down to tug at the clip to test Jazz's reaction.

Jazz shrieked at the action, buckling against Prowl as overload suddenly tore through him. Pleasure flared in his field but the undertone of pain also lingered as he lay there, panting between the soft whimpers. The overload was intense. And quite different than the ones he had before. He had never had pain push him over the edge to an overload filled with pleasure. 

So Jazz just lay there, unable to even move.

Prowl shifted back to watch Jazz, spike still halfway in the other, "Well?"

Jazz couldn't keep his visor on and it was a struggle to answer. "W-what?" He slurred.

The taller shifted forward again, "The clip. Did you like it?"

Jazz winced, visor still off as the movement caused the clip to also be touched. "I-I...t-take it off, I liked it. Intense. So intense but hurts..." He tried to shift his hips away from Prowl.

Optics shifted back to the clip that held Jazz's swollen node captive and slowly removed it. 

That caused another sudden jerk from Jazz as suddenly relief followed after that action. Jazz sagged on the berth, only now realizing how tightly he had held himself, breathing hard.

Prowl smiled down at the smaller. He re-hilted his spike and covered the smallers frame with his own, "I was hoping to open conversation for a mod."

"Mod?" Jazz gasped softly as he felt Prowl's spike fully in him again, but with the clip now gone he could actually think. Sorta.

"A piercing, maybe more than one," the Praxian replied and slid partially out.

"Piercing!" Jazz visor flared, both at the other's move and at the suggestion. "N-no. No pain." He buried his helm in the other's shoulder.

He snapped his hips back forward, "There'd be no pain, it would be quick."

Jazz gasped, visor softly flickering out as his charge was rebuilding itself. "Dunno. Scared." He mumbled, gasping.

"I promise you'll feel no pain," Prowl hummed as he slid back out, sensory panels shaking in suppressed pleasure.

"W-why do I need the mod anyway?" Jazz whimpered in his own pleasure.

"Sensation," Prowl groaned as he continued to move, "But I think you'd look rather fetching with a few as well." 

Jazz gasped, squeezing Prowl in pleasure as his arousal was quick to build up his next overload. "I dunno..." He said uncertainly and rather distractedly.

Prowl invented sharply as he overloaded into the small mech, "I think you'll enjoy it."

Jazz made a sound as Prowl's overload and the highly charged transfluid were enough to send him into an overload, feeling his entire frame lock up for a moment before he slumped under Prowl.

"...I-I guess." Jazz mumbled, spent as his vents struggled to keep up.

Prowl panted and propped himself up over Jazz, "Don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

Jazz wasn't able to respond as he felt his systems offline in that wonderful post-overload bliss.

~

Jazz woke up feeling warm snuggled up in the warm covers of their berth. His visor flickered softly to life and he blinked a couple of times before he saw that it was later than the usual time he woke up. He saw that Prowl wasn't on the berth with him so Jazz sat up and winced.

His valve felt sore.

With slight difficulty Jazz shifted off the berth and discovered walking wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. He frowned. Prowl hadn't been rough this time. Maybe the new toy had damaged him? It did hurt...

"Prowler?" Jazz called out, slowly walking into the living room. 

Sensory panels twitched as Prowl looked up from his datapad to Jazz and quickly stood from the couch. "You should be still resting," He started calmly as he walked Jazz the rest of the way to the couch.

Jazz winced as the soreness returned before he was seated and needed a moment to find a more comfortable position. 

"Why?" Jazz asked, looking at the other curiously, "We didn't play that roughly last night... did we?"

Prowl shuttered his optics in a blink, "Of course not." He paused to look at Jazz better, "You have not inspected your frame have you?"

"No? I just woke up." Jazz blinked at him, "Should I?"

Prowl sat back, "I don't know...should you?" 

Jazz gave a small wince. "It's sore here." He motioned at his valve cover but felt himself blushing. "I'll go to the washracks to see, okay?"

"Can you make it there on your own or do you need some assistance," Prowl questioned knowingly.

"I can make it on my own." Jazz said with a smile and gingerly stood up, making his way to the washracks. Once inside and the door closed Jazz took off his cover to see what was irritating him there so much... only to drop the cover he was holding.

"…What the..." Jazz trailed off as he stared down in shock. There, going straight through his node was a piercing. A hoop. If that wasn't shocking enough he saw a couple of more at the sides of his valve. Still in disbelief Jazz reached to touch the one on his anterior node and winced as it hurt, the wound fresh.

"Prowl!"

The washracks door slid open but Prowl didn't enter, "Yes love?" Optics darted to the panel still lying on the floor and the scandalized look Jazz had on his face.

"Prowl, what is this?" Jazz called out. "You...you can enter. Just.../when/? How? Why?" He frowned, "Why would you do this?"

"You were nervous about pain because of the clip so I figured it would be best to do it while you were in recharge," The Praxian explained simply as he moved into the room and knelt down to check the healing.

Jazz felt his cheeks burning but didn't push Prowl away. Only his hand when it tried to check the piercings. "But-but I wasn't sure I wanted them!" He said sadly, "I just... I dunno."

"Once the soreness is gone you'll be able to enjoy them more," Prowl pulling out a bottle of disinfectant to dab around the piercings, "And if you still don't like them, we'll get rid of them." 

Jazz made a soft sound of protest as Prowl's actions stung and he pulled away, "I guess... I just wish you could've told me." He said with a small frown.

"I did," Prowl replied as he stood back up, "Last night I told you that you wouldn't feel a thing."

"Yeah but you didn't say /when/ I would get them! It didn't hurt but a little heads-up would've been nice too..."

A sensory panel flickered in acknowledgment, "I will be sure to be more clear next time." He gently stroked Jazz's cheek before he turned back to the door, "Come and get some energon."

Jazz didn't know how to feel about this. "Next time?" He asked quietly but followed after Prowl at a more sedate pace once he returned his valve cover to place.

"Nothing to be concerned about," Prowl continued as he walked into the kitchen to grab an empty glass for Jazz and filled it. "I'll tell you before I do anything," He turned and held out the glass for Jazz before he moved back to the couch and his datapad.

Jazz stared after him, a sense of confusion overwhelming him. He was upset...he felt upset. But... why? In a way he understood Prowl. Plus, Prowl knew so much more than him...

Jazz shook his helm and decided to follow the other to the couch to finish drinking his energon and later practice with his harp.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings of physical and mental abuse and a brief scene with non-con

Jazz was amazed at himself for not noticing something so obvious for /so long/. It's been what? A couple of vorns since his release from the hospital and he was noticing the extra room just now?

The problem however was that the room is locked. And he couldn't comm Prowl to ask for the passcode because his comms didn't work... which reminded him to speak to Prowl about having them fixed, at least to the point of being able to comm /him/. 

It didn't take long for Jazz to come to the conclusion that he needed to break in. But the question was...how?

Jazz stared at the panel for a long moment before he decided to take off the faceplate, revealing the jumble of wires. But...what now? Then, without even thinking, Jazz disconnected some and found an empty port where he plugged in. 

It was like following a blind trail. He knew where to go but not where it led him. But everything just clicked in his helm the more he worked. 

Even the door clicked, when he unlocked it.

The room that greeted him wasn’t the closet he had expected. Sure, it wasn't big and it /could/ pass for a closet but... there were so, so many pictures. 

Of him.

Jazz stared in some kind of fascination at the image captures of him in various different situations and poses. Some were ones he could recall, mostly all of them during interface with Prowl. He blushed at the poses he was captured in. Spread, filled, with the gag or without it, while giving Prowl's spike attention or in different poses with different collars, or with transfluid all over him, there were /all kinds/ of pictures of him. Even ones of him simply playing the harp on the couch.

Jazz was so confused. Why was this locked away? 

Looking around more Jazz saw images of himself that he didn't remember. He was mostly smiling in them and unlike the others, the rest weren't taken in the apartment but rather outside, in various other places. On some he was alone, on others he had different mechs around himself and there were even pictures of him with various instruments he seemed to be playing.

Without thinking Jazz reached for one from the wall and pulled it close, looking at it confused. He was in that picture, but there was another mech in it with him. Unlike the other ones, they were sitting intimately close, much like how he and Prowl sat on the couch, cuddled together. The other mech had one of his servos on Jazz's thigh while Jazz was holding the other's chin, held in a way that Jazz now knew was to direct him for a kiss. 

Who was this mech? Who were all the other ones? Didn't Prowl tell him he didn’t have any photo captures from before the accident?

The sound of the front door unlocking and sliding open was background noise to the revelation Jazz was coming to so he did not hear Prowl call for him or notice the presence of the other behind him.

"Jazz," Prowl called the smallers name with no inflection as he waited for him to turn and face him.

Jazz jumped, the bell on his current collar chiming as he looked at the other. "Prowl!" He said, startled. "W-what is this place? There're so many pictures of me..." He trailed off, uncertain. He felt a strange sense of dread overcome him.

"You're not supposed to be in here, Jazz," Ice blue optics bore into the smallers visor as he stepped closer, caging the other into the small room.

"I-I didn't know that." Jazz stammered, backing into the room until there was no more space left. "Why is it a problem?" He looked around, uncertain but he needed to /know/. "Who are those mechs, Prowl?" He asked, motioning to the pictures Jazz was with different mechs in. "A-And this one too? Why are there so many pictures of me? In those pictures I'm /outside/! I-I...Prowler, I'm so confused, please say something."

Prowl's optics flashed at the mention of outside along with the sight of the picture of Jazz with another mech. Without any warning Prowl brought his servo up and backslapped Jazz, tossing him to the ground. Jazz fell due to a combination of the force and the shock that Prowl had hit him. 

"You should ask before hacking your way into places you shouldn't, Jazz." He spoke with bite in his tone as he reached down to pull the other back up. His servo squeezed Jazz's jaw as he brought the other's face to his own to meet his optics, "You do know what it means to lock a door, correct?"

"P-Prowl..." Jazz whimpered in the other's hold, tears pooled behind his visor and picture dropped to the floor in order for him to grip the hand holding his jaw, trying to pull away. "W-what's going on? Please let me go, you're hurting me..." He tried to pull away again, fear making his spark pump even faster. 

"Answer the question Jazz, and I might let you go," Prowl growled into the other's face.

"B-but this is our home!" Jazz said hurriedly, still struggling to pull away. "I-I didn't know I wasn't supposed to come in. A-and it has pictures of me in it! Why can't I? Prowl, please, you're scaring me..." 

Prowl roughly shoved Jazz back against the wall, "The door was locked, Jazz, which means it's off limits." 

Jazz cried out more from shock than pain, shaking in the other's hold as he felt tears. "Prowl, you're really, really scaring me..." He whimpered, his cheek still stinging from where Prowl had hit him.

Wings hiked up in anger and optics snapped from Jazz to the wall, "You are in need of another punishment." 

"No!" The word left Jazz's mouth before he even contemplated it, his smaller frame allowing him to sneak by Prowl and run to the other room.

It was then that Jazz felt truly trapped.

The windows didn't open. And the front door was locked. Shaking and crying, he turned to look in the direction of the other. 

"Jazz!" Prowl called his name as he quickly made his way to Jazz's position and again backslapped him across the face, "You only make it worse when you fight."

The hit was strong like the first one but this time he wasn't so surprised and it didn't bring him to the ground. Lost and desperate Jazz fell down on his knees, trembling hard. If he had plating it would've rattled. "If you love me you won't do this." He cried, shaking his helm. He knew running was pointless.

"I do love you," Prowl replied as he looked down at the broken mech before him, "And that's why I'm doing this." Wings fanned out as he knelt down and picked the other back up.

Jazz kept crying as the other carried him, giving half-sparked attempts to get away. Somewhere in the back of his helm he knew that the sooner this was over the better.

"Look at me, Jazz," He grabbed Jazz's jaw again to make the other face him, "Tell me that you will not go back into that room."

When the other remained silent except for soft sobs, Prowl slapped him again and Jazz spoke. 

"Prowl!" Jazz cried softly, "I-I need to know, w-why can't I go in there?"

Prowl growled and slapped him again, "Say it, Jazz."

Jazz covered his head with his arms, sobbing, "Please Prowler...."

Wings shot up in outrage and trembled in his building anger. He pushed Jazz's arms out of the way and grabbed the smallers face with both servos, "I will hurt you, love, if you do not listen."

Jazz kept crying, face stinging from the hits and his own tears as he tried to pry Prowl's hands from his face. "I'm b-beg-ging y-you..." He sobbed, stammering in terror. 

Ice blue optics narrowed at the others continued disobedience. He moved and slammed the other into the wall, "The sooner you answer, the sooner this stops."

Jazz cried out in pain at the rough slam against the wall but didn't utter any words this time. He just cried.

"Jazz," Prowl hissed out against Jazz's audio, "Stop crying. This will all be over if you just listen."

"I'll say it if you tell me why!" Jazz forced the words out in one breath, not even thinking clearly from all the panic and terror coursing through his frame.

Prowl pulled back to look into Jazz's optics and hardened, "Not now."

Jazz stared at the other in fear so intense he was feeling dizzy. Or was that because of the hits? In the end, Jazz forced out the words. "...I w-won't go b-back into t-that room..." He stammered, sobbing.

Optics continued to bore into Jazz, "And you will not hack anymore of the wall panels."

"A-and I w-won't h-hack any m-more of the w-wall panels..."

Prowl studied Jazz a klik longer before he kissed him hard on the mouth and pulled away. He grabbed Jazz by the wrist and dragged him to their berthroom, "Tomorrow, I will lock you in our room." He turned to face Jazz once in the room, "You will not be let out until I come home and deem it appropriate."

"Y-yes." Jazz forced himself to say, barely standing from all the shaking.

The taller nodded and directed Jazz to the berth before he followed suite, "There will be energon when you wake."

"O-okay." Jazz whispered as if on reflex, still unable to stop his tremors against the other. He didn't dare pull away though.

Prowl pulled Jazz close to his frame, pinning him in place as he initiated his recharge once he felt the other drop off.

~

Jazz was sitting in the far corner of their berth room, shaking.

It was still an improvement. The first couple of orns he just cried (though not when Prowl was home because crying, Prowl didn't like). Thankfully the tears had dried up and all Jazz did the entire orn was sit there. When the other was home, he would try to avoid him as best as he could, but it was hard when Prowl himself sought him out.

Jazz heard the front door unlock and knew the other was home. He fought it as best as he could but his shaking didn't stop. At least he wasn't crying anymore. And the places where Prowl had hit him didn't hurt anymore either.

Still, Jazz tried to make himself as small as he could in his corner, which wasn't all that hard, given he had no armor and wore a simple collar around his neck.

Silently the berthroom door slid open and Prowl entered. He swept in like a wraith and took Jazz into his arms and carried him to their berth. Once settle he brought a cube of coolant to Jazz's lips, "Drink, Jazz."

It was no surprise given how much he had cried. Jazz didn't even lift his hand to try and hold the cube he drank thirstily.

"Good," Prowl praised and pulled the cube away once it was empty and replaced it with a cube of energon. 

Jazz did pretty much the same thing. His frame shifted between big and hard tremors to smaller ones and he had to make sure not to spill.

Prowl held the cube steady as Jazz shook and again didn't pull it away until it was all gone. Once done, he shifted a bit till Jazz was lying heavily against his chest, helm resting over his shoulder, "How are you feeling, love?"

Like the previous orns Jazz didn't know how to answer that question. "...I'm okay." He murmured softly, wrapping his shaking servos around Prowl's neck and burying his face in it.

Ice blue optics dimmed as he held Jazz in his arms, "You can play your harp tomorrow." 

"...I can?" Jazz asked softly, resting fully against the other, "Thank you." He whispered.

Prowl rubbed Jazz's helm in a soothing manner to calm the other's remaining trembles.

Jazz didn't know what to do so he just laid there, frame draped over Prowl's as he clearly remembered how the hand rubbing him soothingly had been hitting him not long ago.

Jazz gave a small whimper at the memory, feeling the tears pull again behind his visor and clutched Prowl, hiding his face.

"I told you, as long as you listened to me I wouldn't hurt you, Jazz," Prowl spoke softly into Jazz's audio. "I think you understand now though, right?" He asked, expecting only one answer.

"No, I don't." Jazz whispered, feeling the tears slide down. "You love me. But you hurt me. H-how does that make sense?" Fear flickered in his field. He knew this wasn't the answer the other wanted and hoped it wouldn't cost him.

Prowl stiffened and tightened his hold on the smaller, "Jazz." He spoke the smallers name in a warning tone, "We talked about this."

Jazz froze in the other's hold, energon turning to ice in his lines before he forced himself to nod, reaching with a hand to try and brush his tears. "Y-yes, sir." He mumbled quietly, using the 'sir' when Prowl spoke to him like that, field still rippling with fear. Away, he wanted away from the other's hold.

"Can I go to the washracks?" It was the best excuse he could think of.

Slowly Prowl's field smoothed out and he loosened his hold on the smaller, "You may go." Optics watched Jazz's every move as the smaller tried not to scramble away from him and to their washroom.

The running water hid his tears and masked his cries as Jazz sobbed on his knees under the water, face buried in his hands. He was just so ... so /miserable/ and the one mech he loved more than life itself was the one causing him grief. He had never felt sadness like this before. It felt as if his spark was being ripped to pieces or like acid was poured in it. It hurt, Primus it hurt. All of his new memories were with Prowl and most of them were happy ones. But now...

Prowl remained in the berthroom, sitting facing the washracks door. He could hear the other's sobs hidden under the water's spray but did nothing to stop them. 

Eventually Jazz ran out of tears and that blissful state of numbness overtook him as he just sat under the shower, allowing the water to wash the evidence of his sorrow, visor pale to a sickish color as he stared blindly at the wall. It was an effort to make himself stand to turn it off and then dry off.

When he emerged from the washracks some time later he still had the large towel wrapped around his protoform as he saw Prowl still sitting on the berth in the same place he had left him. 

Jazz paused, hesitating. In the end he just stood there, watching the other.

"Are you done?" Prowl asked not really expecting an answer. He patted the space next to him expectantly.

Jazz wrapped the towel more securely around himself, not that it could provide any shield. Nodding, the visored mech forced himself to go sit where the other motioned at, looking down.

Prowl pulled Jazz back onto the berth and ripped the towel from around him. He covered the other, servos on either side of Jazz's helm while ice optics pinned Jazz to the berth, "What are you hiding from?"

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out, fear quickly taking over him. He trembled under the other, looking away from those optics, "I'm-I'm not hiding!" He quickly said.

A white clawed servo moved Jazz's face back to meet Prowl's optics. He studied the smallers expression before he sat back and settled between Jazz's legs.

Jazz was hyperventilating and realized it only when the other pulled back, leaving him to stare dizzily at the ceiling. After managing to calm down somewhat Jazz forced himself to look at Prowl, propping himself up on his elbows. Uncertainly, he called out, "...Prowl?"

Prowl remained quiet as he leant forward to kiss Jazz's neck. He laved attention to the taught cables and nipped lightly before he moved lower to Jazz's chest. 

"Prowl, please stop."

Jazz reached with trembling hands to halt the other's actions.

Claws scratched lightly at Jazz's chest but moved on shortly after to seek out side seams. 

"N-no, /Prowl/." Jazz said wincing, voice growing desperate as he also started to try and get away, "Please love, not now. I-I don't want to..."

Wings flared in agitation but he did not stop his actions. He continued to kiss and suckled on Jazz's protoform as he moved down the other's torso, "I'm not going to harm you, love."

He slid his legs back so he was laid out on his front, helm even with the other's pelvis. With one free servo he disengaged Jazz's modesty panel and gingerly pulled it away. Sensory panels flickered as he blew cold air over the now exposed valve.

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out as he started to actively get away. It felt good, it always felt good, but right now he was just too upset, too 'not-in-the-mood' for this kind of thing and it was only making him even /more/ upset.

Prowl dug his claws into a hip to halt the other's movements and directed a glare up at the other's pale visor. Gingerly he moved back down to Jazz's valve and took the other's pierced node into his mouth. He sucked and pulled at the nub before he let his glossa slide against the other's opening, grazing the other hoop piercings along the sides

"Prowl....!" Jazz cried out, both in pleasure and despair. "N-no, stop it!" he yelled, wincing at the other's claws and gasping in pleasure as the other toyed with the piercings. Buckling against the other, Jazz managed to free a leg and without thinking his knee met Prowl's face,. 

Another kind of dread spread over Jazz as he shifted when the other paused to take a better look, "P-Prowl? I'm so sorry, it was an accident, it really was! A-are you okay?"

Prowl brought his servo up to his nasal ridge and pulled it back to find fresh energon. He could feel it running down his mouth and chin but took no other action to wipe it up. Optics blazed as he looked down at Jazz, the smaller's knee still up in his attempt to escape.

"So unwise," Prowl spoke low as he grabbed the other's ankle and drug his frame back down.

"I-I'm so, so sorry love." Jazz stammered, worried for the other as he saw the energon trickle down his face. Without even thinking Jazz came closer so that he could reach with a shaking hand for his face but pulled it back right before touching, fearing he'll hurt him. "L-let me get you some cloths to clean up, o-okay? Primus Prowl, I'm so, so sorry..." Jazz said, voice growing smaller as he stared at the other worried.

Sensory panels flared and shuttered in restrained anger when they suddenly stopped and sat back into their usual stance. He laid back down between Jazz's legs, ignoring the others suggestion to clean up and moved back to his earlier task. Energon ran down his gloss as he lapped at the smaller's valve, but he didn't care.

"PROWL!" Jazz shrieked when he felt the warm energon trickle over his sensitive parts, feeling now tears slide down his face as he reached for other, trying to pull him off, "Love, I'm /begging/ you." He cried, holding Prowl's energon stained face in his hands gently, "Please, please, please. You're /hurt/. Please /stop/."

Prowl pulled back enough to lean up and crush their mouths together. He could taste his own energon on his lips and glossa but didn't care as long as he brought the smaller to an overload.

An overload Jazz most certainly did not want.

Jazz tried to pull back, tasting energon along with his tears. What has gotten into the Prowl he knew and loved? Who was this obsessed and terrifying mech? 

The taller pulled back a bit and covered Jazz's mouth with one servo while the other pressed back into the smaller's entrance. Before Jazz could react he worked his digits fast into the smaller, shifting to pin the struggling frame on the berth as he kept switching between working with his fingers and toying with the piercings. Jazz both arched and struggled against him and took some time but in the end he wrenched an overload from him.

Jazz laid there panting, tears covering his face as self loathing and hurt flared in his field. He didn't even fight anymore - just laid on the berth in the post-overload as he stared blindly at the ceiling, his own face still covered in energon transfers from Prowl.

Slowly Prowl pulled away and disappeared into the washracks. He returned a short time later with some cleaning clothes for Jazz. 

He stroked the smaller's helm gently before he brought a cloth to his face to clean it of energon and tears. Silence reigned between them as he shifted his task to cleaning up Jazz's valve and then to the cuts he'd inflicted with his claws on the smaller's hips. 

Jazz didn't utter a single word, occasionally giving a wince when Prowl touched a deeper cut or a sore place, but other than that and shaking, he was silent. He didn't even know what to say. So when Prowl finished cleaning him Jazz just turned on his side, away from Prowl and curled up, feeling new tears slide down his face and a warning for more coolant to appear. He ignored both. 

Prowl wiped his own face of his dried energon before he glanced over to Jazz. He stared for an unknown amount of time before he also laid down but this time gave Jazz a bit of space. They would need to talk in the morning.

~

The recharge that night didn't bring any rest or peace for Jazz. He kept waking up constantly, images of Prowl appearing in his mind and scaring him. Also, the fact that the other was right next to him didn't help.

Primus, Jazz was confused.

As much as he wanted to run away from the other, he wanted just as much to turn around and seek comfort. His spark and mind battled, banishing any and all rest from his night.

Jazz was already awake, laying pretty much the same way he had last night when Prowl started moving. Jazz felt his spark start beating faster. 

Slowly Prowl rolled over and just stared at Jazz's back. He stayed that way for several kliks, waiting for the other to move. His sensory panels lay flat behind him in his wait and only flickered in agitation at the other's prolonged silence, "I know you're awake, Jazz."

"Does it matter?" Jazz murmured quietly. "You're still going to do whatever it is you want, whether I was recharging or not." Sadness flickered in his field.

Wings fanned out in a bout of anger at the smaller's attitude before they settled back down. "You've been quite rebellious since you hacked into the closet," Prowl replied calmly before he reached out an arm to grab Jazz and drug him backwards till he was pressed to Prowl's chest.

Jazz allowed the action, more focused on the words, "Because you've been nothing but mean a-and flat out cruel." He said quietly, staring ahead and mentally preparing if the other decided to strike or something else, "I just... I /really/ didn't think when I hacked into that room. A-and then when I wanted my questions answered you were so horrible...and you haven't stopped being horrible ever since. I want the old Prowl back." He said on the verge of tears, "I want my kind and thoughtful Prowler back." He said, voice breaking in static.

"I haven't gone anywhere, my Jazz," Prowl purred softly into Jazz's audio. "I warned you once before about disobeying my orders, and if I recall you did not like the punishment then either." He hugged the smaller from behind and stroked Jazz's helm, "If you quit giving me cause to punish you, you wouldn't be feeling this way."

"I just... I just want to know what's going on." Jazz whispered shifting to turn and look at Prowl in the optics. "I am so confused." He admitted, "I cry all the time. I'm sad all the time. I just...He looked down, reaching with a shaking hand to play absently with a headlight. "I don't know what to think anymore..."

"...What do you think is going on?" Prowl questioned after several kliks.

"I... I found a secret room that was locked and went in. It was filled with pictures of me. It also had pictures from before the accident a-and you said that I didn't have any from before. I just...I feel like you're hiding something from me and get angry the more I ask." Jazz finished in a whisper. "Why does that room exist, Prowler?"

"Do you still trust me, Jazz?"

"...I love you." Jazz answered instead.

Prowl stroked Jazz's cheek with his servo, "I love you too." He pressed his chevron to Jazz's forehelm, "I have been hiding something."

Jazz's breath hitched, "W-what kind of something?" 

"Words can't fully explain it," Prowl offered. "If you'd be willing, I can show you better than I can tell you," Prowl continued as he let his chestplates part under Jazz's servos.

Jazz /stared/ as if he'd seen the most bizarre thing in the world. It took him a moment to look up in his files about 'opening the chest' and (it's been a while since he'd used them) he discovered it was used when two mechs wanted to spark merge. However the information on sparks and spark merging was so big that he didn't even begin to read it.

"...H-how does this work?" Jazz asked, his own spark twisting in his chest nervously.

"We expose our sparks and when they touch, a merge is created and memories can be shared," Prowl explained as simply as he could.

"R-really?" Jazz asked, amazed. "I get to see part of our life before the accident?" Amazement flowed in his field, for the first time in a while a flicker of happiness too. He fumbled a bit before he discovered how to unlock his own exposed chest, showing his spark to Prowl. The nervousness in him grew much to his confusion.

Prowl didn't comment as he let his spark chamber spiral open to reveal his spark to Jazz and waited for the other to do the same.

Amazement was stronger than the shock he was feeling at seeing another spark. Jazz had always known what was in their chests. After all, he constantly felt his own spark and whenever he had placed his hand on Prowl's chest he had also felt the steady beats.... but now, seeing the bright blue light flicker with so much /life/ in front of him... 

It stole Jazz's breath away. Because this was Prowl's core, this was his essence. /This/ was Prowl. Jazz hesitated as he realized he was reaching with a servo to touch it. He stopped himself and found the command to make his own spark chamber spiral open, seeing the reflection of the light of his own spark against Prowl's armor.

"This is a really important moment, isn't it?" Jazz whispered, too much in awe.

Prowl nodded slowly as he took in Jazz's own gold spark. It pulsed rapidly in possible excitement or fear, Prowl didn't know. He stared as their energies mingled but didn't merge, "It's not something done among friends or strangers."

Gently he brought an arm around Jazz's waist and pushed the other lightly forward but didn not touch their chests together, "When you're ready."

Jazz nodded and tore his gaze off Prowl's spark to look in his optics of the same color. He hesitated, "...Can you kiss me? I've missed..." 'you being kind with me', but the words Jazz's didn't dare voice out. "...I've just missed this." He whispered, longing in his field.

Ice blue optics brightened in surprise at the request before he gingerly brought his free servo up to Jazz's face and tipped the smallers face upward to meet his own. The kiss was soft unlike most and lasted for several kliks as he started to deepen it before he caught himself and pulled back.

Jazz gave him a kind smile, also cupping Prowl's cheek. He just stared at the other, the love he felt noticed even in the energy they shared.

After feeling as ready as he'd ever be Jazz slowly inched forward. The two sparks, feeling each other so close quickly closed the distance, starting to share more than just energy. The first tendrils touched, entangled and caused both mechs to gasp in /pleasure/ like no other. Then, suddenly, like two magnets with opposite ends they drew each other in and became one.

Jazz was lost in his awe as the world around him melted and he was swallowed in Prowl's essence. It was such a powerful feeling, like gazing down at a bottomless pit from the edge, or rather hanging from it. Jazz didn't know where that analogy came from but suddenly it felt as if he was falling into the other deeper.

There was love, lots of it. Some bordering on the obsessive and dare he say stalkerish? The pictures appeared in mere flashes as he bounced from one memory to another, touching on one emotion and then another. There was no other word to describe it but love, maybe love in the extreme but it was still love.

They didn't know each other before the crash he discovered which matched up with the pictures he'd found. The memory was quickly swallowed up though by a dark feeling coming over him, like the thought of being stuck in a cage. Everyone beside Jazz faded to dust in his memories, no one was worthy of the smaller, not even Prowl at times.

Prowl followed him. It didn't happen right away, it was over a course of time. Jazz suddenly filled the other's mind and was in almost every memory. When Prowl would go to work, or to the store, or just walking home. Jazz was there in the background until he was suddenly there all the time living with Prowl...after the crash.

Jazz could see Prowl working, the memories were quickly brushed over but he could compare it to the way Prowl had learned everything about Jazz. He obsessed over work but maybe obsessed over Jazz even more.

Even through the love, Jazz could see his thought process on Jazz's punishments. If he was in pain then logically Jazz wouldn't do a repeat. Fear would make him /obey/. Disobeying him was top on the list of things that would get Jazz in trouble or hurt. 

Prowl loved him, that was a fact, but was it healthy? Prowl grew Jazz's own love for him from the day he stepped into Prowl's apartment. He cultivated their love from day one of when they were together to get it to this point.

If it could, Jazz's spark would've /exploded/ from the sheer amount of emotions he was feeling in that moment. He didn't even believe mechs could feel so much at once. 

Shock. Denial. Despair. Pain. Fear. Horror. Loss. Hurt. Sadness. Anger. Rage. Love? Yes. Somewhere mixed in that tornado of emotions there was still love for Prowl. Pure and unmarred. Even if that love is the product of an obsessed mech the emotion was real. And raw. And it was the main reason for the PAIN-PAIN-PAIN! 

It would seem that pain and love went hand in hand, because the more he loved Prowl, the more it hurt. And then there was the horror...the sheer /horror/ that his entire life now is nothing but a LIE. Nothing but a sick delusion by the mech he...he, oh Primus, by the mech he /loved/. 

Prowl wasn't his mate.

This wasn't his life.

He wasn't Jazz!

Unbidden and unwanted, the overload suddenly tore through them. And in spite of his newest revelations, it was still the most pleasurable thing Jazz had felt. 

His visor had barely flickered to life when Jazz pushed himself off the berth with a strangled sob as he blindly tried to crawl away.

He wasn't Jazz! Prowl wasn't his mate! His life was a lie! It wasn't even his life! Primus, did he have a family? Maybe they were all looking for him? Maybe Prowl hadn't just manipulated him but lied about every single thing he knew. His entire existence was put into question now.

Crying, Jazz staggered to his pedes as he just wanted /away/. 

Prowl rubbed his own chest as his spark chamber closed back up. He watched Jazz try to get away and slowly got up from the berth and walked towards his staggering frame. Strong arms wrapped around Jazz's frame and just held him upright, "Jazz," He murmured against an audio horn, "You need to breathe."

But Jazz /couldn't/. 

Someone had stolen his breath away. Someone had stolen /his life/ away! 

In the end Jazz did manage to inhale but only to sob it out as he struggled against the hands keeping him in place - against the hands that were keeping him prisoner!

"It's a lie! Everything's a lie- let me go, you lied - I loved you- you-you-monster! How could you do this?!" Jazz was screaming against him and when he realized his frame, smaller and weaker with no armor and still that stupid collar! - when he realized he couldn't get away Jazz managed to turn in the other's hold and instead tried his best to hit him.

"You LIED! You stole my life! You stole who I was! Everything you told me is a lie! How could you do this?! I love you - made me love you - HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" Jazz shrieked in tears, hysterical.

Prowl continued to hold onto the smaller, even as Jazz freed his arms to hit him. Optics remained steady as he studied Jazz's flashing visor. He didn't move until Jazz moved to slap him again and even then he only moved to catch the smaller's wrist.

"How could you do this?" Jazz whispered through his tears as he stared at Prowl, well and truly broken, not even trying to pull his hand away. "How could you do this to me?"

Prow's optics dimmed as he leant down and pressed a chaste kiss to Jazz's lip then pulled away, "Because I love you...No one claimed you at the hospital, Jazz."

Jazz jerked his servo free and slapped him again, feeling his spark crumble in his chest. Love /hurt/. Especially this kind.

"Your love is poison." Jazz said through tears, as he loved the mech before him even if he knew it was all a lie. "Your love is broken. It's wrong. And it hurt me so much I can't even... I can't...."

"Do you want to leave?" Prowl questioned after a pulse. 

"I want to get as far away from you as possible!" Jazz cried, "I want /away/!"

Prowl's optics flashed briefly before he took a few steps back. He pulled Jazz's armor out of his subspace and tossed it onto the berth, "Then leave." With that, Prowl turned and left the berthroom without a backwards glance.

The room was suddenly so quiet and all Jazz could hear were his sobs as he tore away the collar and hastily put on his armor as best as he could. He left his back exposed, unable to do that alone but to the Pit if he was going to even /look/ at Prowl. 

When decent enough Jazz stormed towards the front door and was ready to start screaming at Prowl to unlock it when the door opened to him without any trouble. Jazz paused, almost glancing back. Almost.

Jazz darted down the stairs since he didn't have the chip for the elevator and just ran and ran and ran. It seemed like an endless set of stairs, tears unable to stop sliding down his face but then...Jazz saw something he had hadn’t seen in a while.

The ground floor. And there on the end of it, the front door. It was sunny. He could see the sunrays falling through and just before he went outside he hesitated again, giving a few more whimpers as he glanced behind him.

Nothing. Prowl wasn't following him. This was...this was insane. Why would Prowl just let him leave? 

Jazz didn't want to find the answer to that question and darted outside. The first thing that shocked him was the /noise/. Of mechs talking, of traffic, of Cybertron itself. Jazz jumped at a sudden claxon flaring by a passing alt mode that nearly ran over a mech crossing the busy street. His pace slowed and he stumbled when he was pushed by some of the mechs walking in bi-pedal form on the sidewalk. It was different and more aggressive than his first outside encounter.

Jazz looked around, spark flaring in his chest as everything around him was /so big/. Everything was so unfamiliar. Everything was so frightening and Jazz stumbled again, this time falling when his pede caught by accident on a mech sitting on the ground.

"Hey, watch it!" The mech had hissed at him in a static-laced voice. It was then Jazz realized that this was the first voice beside's Prowl since getting out of the hospital that he's heard. The mech glared at him, giving a few curse words for good measure. 

In his attempt to get away from the filthy mech Jazz had backed away so much he ended up on the street. Another loud claxon and the visored mech barely managed to jump out of the way of a fast alt mode, different than the ones he had seen.

Spark spinning so fast in his chest, Jazz felt a new kind of panic set in him. 

Jazz knew /nothing/ of this world. Even the information pakage he had was poorly equipped for...for this. His reintegration should've happened the first orns after his discharge with the new memory. Instead Prowl had tucked him away, hidden from the world. He had cut him off and now Jazz felt like a stranger in this big and scary place. Primus, he didn't even know if he had family he could contact. Or friends...or-or anything.

Jazz used to believe that Prowl was his family. That Prowl was the only mech who loved him...who...who...

Jazz gave a soft cry as he realized he was so poorly equipped to handle this world. Prowl... was this what Prowl wanted him to see?

"Hey, looking to buy some visors?" Someone suddenly spoke to him and Jazz jumped, "See you've got yourself a nice one. I got good ones too, see? Straight from Protihex."

The odd mech reached into his subspace and Jazz let out a startled yelp at someone /talking/ to him before he darted back into the building. He ran and hid under the stairs as his spark hurt so much he didn't think possible. He hugged his knees and just /cried/.

The elevator dinged as the lift stopped at the bottom floor. The lift door slid open to allow Prowl exit. He stopped at the sound of Jazz's muffled cries and traced them back to the source.

He stared at the other for a long moment. Jazz knew he was there but just kept crying. Without a word he moved forward and took the smaller into his arms and re-entered the lift. Jazz didn't fight him. The fight in him was nothing but despair and pain. Optics remained hard as he stared blankly at the steel elevator doors, grip tightening slightly under Jazz's legs and around his back.

Jazz's cries had faded to soft whimpers to the point where Prowl was pretty sure the other was about to drop offline.

Jazz saw warnings of overheating flash on his HUD but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop mourning a life lost and a love so broken. Jazz cried until his voice grew into nothing but static.

Prowl shifted the smaller in his arms as he keyed in his code and entered their apartment. He hummed softly as he carried Jazz into the berthroom and set him on the berth. Standing back, he watched the smaller vent hard, clearly not fully conscious. 

Deeming it safe to leave, he left the room to retrieve a cube of energon and coolant for when Jazz awoke. He returned a short time later with a cool cloth to drape over Jazz's helm before he sat down on the other side of the berth, careful not to touch the other's overheated frame. 

Optics dimmed as he glanced back over his lover's frame. He was sure their next conversation would be more favorable.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to edit the chapter and post for Monday, so here it is a day late.

Jazz's visor slowly flickered on. Not even fully awake, he winced at the pounding headache from all that crying. His face stung from the dried up tears and his spark... Primus his spark felt hollow. Felt empty. Jazz didn't think emptiness could /hurt/ but it did. 

It was then he saw the other black and white. His...his /captor/.

Primus. Jazz shuttered his visor again, feeling a damp cloth still on his helm. Prowl... it was /Prowl/. He didn't want to wake up, he didn't. But a whimper had escaped him before he could stop it and he was certain Prowl had heard it. 

"Jazz, you need to calm down," Prowl murmured absently while he read a datapad propped up next to Jazz. 

Prowl sighed at the sound of Jazz's vents picking up and muffled whimpers, "Do you need a sedative, love?" He questioned after several more kliks of listening to the other wear himself out.

The sound of the other's voice went straight to Jazz's spark. Primus, it hurt to think. It hurt to exist. "N-No." He chocked out, covering his helm with his hands, creating the illusion of hiding for himself as though assaulted. This was his world now; he couldn't go out. The thought of being out there terrified him as much as the thought of being in here.

/Primus/, he was so weak. He couldn't even stop crying.

Blue optics shifted their attention onto the small quivering mech next to him and with a sigh of finality, he stood and left the room only to return a short period of time later with a syringe gun and a vile with some unknown substance, assumed to be the sedative.

"I was trying to ask nicely," He said calmly as he loaded the gun with the liquid, "This is for your own good." With those words said, Prowl knelt down and had to force Jazz still as the other cried out at the close contact. He gave a couple of half-sparked attempts to pull away but he was too distraught for more so Prowl managed without much trouble to remove the armor before he could inject the sedative directly into the main line in Jazz's arm.

"Once that kicks in, we can talk," Prowl commented as he stepped away to put the gun aside before he moved back to the other side of the berth.

Jazz was still clutching his head, breathing hard. Slowly, he felt a sort of coolness overwhelm him as the tears finally, /finally/, stopped along with the huge tremors of his frame leaving him simply lying on the berth. It wasn't long after that when even his breathing leveled out and the tears on his face finally started to dry. Now all that was left was the exhaustion from crying so much as he stared ahead sadly.

Prowl watched Jazz closely as the other finally calmed down and turned on the berth so he was facing Jazz fully, "How are you feeling?"

"...Empty." Jazz whispered, not looking at Prowl. Was emptiness supposed to hurt? He felt shallow yet that seemed to make his spark constrict in pain.

"Explain," Prowl questioned with narrowed optics, confused by the answer.

"I don't know." Jazz spoke quietly, just staring ahead blindly. "I just... you ruined everything." And even with the sedative in place Jazz could still feel himself getting upset. He probably wouldn't even be able to talk if it wasn't for it. "You...you destroyed me. I'm broken. And I... I know that. Otherwise, why would I come back?" He buried his face in the pillow, clutching it with his hands.

Prowl chose not to deny or confirm the other's summary of his current state of mind, "Because you weren't strong enough to be on your own."

The words went straight to his spark and maybe it was the last thread that broke but Jazz couldn't take it anymore and he /screamed/. With all of his voice, Jazz opened his mouth and screamed in the pillow, clutching it so hard it ripped. His scream only broke because his voice glitched into static and he was left panting.

"I hate you. I hate you! I HATE you!" This time Jazz yelled at the other.

Sensory panels went flat trying to lessen the sensory input on them from Jazz's screams. At the same time, Prowl's optics flashed as he moved forward and covered Jazz's mouth. He pressed the smaller into the berth with his weight, "You NEED to calm down." Prowl hissed as he moved closer to Jazz's face, "After everything I've done for you, when no one else came forward and I took the risk of taking you in, this is how you repay me?"

He leant back but kept his servo secure over Jazz's mouth as he continued, "I don't like hurting you, Jazz, but you have a tendency to give me cause to use physical force."

Jazz managed to shove the hand away from his face, visor overly bright with emotion. "You want a thank you?!" He asked incredulous. "Thank you, Prowl, for destroying me! Thank you for making my entire life a LIE! Thank you for making me your prisoner and thank you for hurting me in every possible way!" Jazz hissed, upset, "The one right thing you did was let me go but when I stepped outside-I-I-I..." and Jazz chocked. "When I stepped outside in their world..." He gripped his helm, at the same time shaking. "Why did I come back. Why did I come back..." He shuddered, feeling a few tears escape.

Prowl hovered over Jazz, optics blazing, "Would you like to be a prisoner, Jazz? Because I can make you one and then you can tell me which is better."

"Am I not one already?!" Jazz asked, upset. "My entire world consists of you and this apartment. Of you and your rules and your mind-games! Isn't this how a prisoner is treated? You destroyed me, don't you get it? I came back because...because...Just because." He hissed through tears. "I never asked you to take me from the hospital. I never asked for your infatuation with me. Even alone I would've adapted, I would've learned... You created a lie and shoved me in it!"

"At best you would have become a prostitute because of medical bills and at worst, homeless," Prowl replied with little to no inflection. "If you were a prisoner I could have locked you in the closet and limited your rations. You would have had access to nothing, no music or anything."

Sensory panels flared, making him look bigger, "Instead I took you in, let you sleep in my berth, allowed you access to as much energon as you wanted, and even bought you instruments to make you happy." Prowl's voice rose slightly as he went on, "So please tell me if you weren't happy then."

"I was!" Jazz yelled at him, feeling more tears slide down as he got up sitting on his knees on the berth, "I was, damn it and that's why this hurts me SO much! I never wanted /anything/ from you! I didn't want you to take me in, I didn't want you to take care of me or buy me things! You did that all on your own and then I learn that everything you said - all of it - of our life together, of our LOVE together - it was a LIE! I had a LIFE before you Prowl and you STOLE it from me! /Someone/ would've come! Maybe not right away but someone, anyone would've come! Those pictures you hid from me," He motioned at the hidden closet with a trembling hand, "They are proof that I mattered! And you stole that away from me!"

"You care so much about a past that you don't even know," Prowl replied, his voice darkening.

"All I ever wanted from you was the one thing you refused to give me - freedom. You can't give me freedom, can you?" Jazz asked just as darkly. "You said that I would've become a prostitute, even as one I would've still had the privilege of /choice/! Choice to be free! Choice to discover myself! Choice to be with whomever I want! Is that the problem here? You knew I would've NEVER picked you, is that it?" Jazz hissed, wanting his words to hurt the other, wanting to make him feel pain as much as he was feeling now, "You were right about that - I would've /never/ been with you out of my own free will!"

Prowl laughed darkly, "You really think you would have had a choice? When it's about surviving, you don't get a choice."

"Even so, it just proves that you needed to have me deceived or forced. Now I understand why you refuse to give me freedom - because you know if I have it you will cease to matter to me!" Jazz hissed, shaking with anger. Like a hurt animal lashing out and his fangs were his words.

"It's quite amazing I still love you with all the vitriol you spout," Prowl remarked as his wings absently flared and dropped back to a more comfortable angle. "You must feel quite good about yourself, able to speak out and not cower in the corner," Optics dimmed thoughtfully, "It's a shame you can't walk outside with the same confidence."

Jazz felt himself shake as new wetness covered his face. "I wonder whose fault that is?" He asked quietly, trying not to let the tears add static to his voice as he clutched the ripped pillow to his chest.

"Is it though? This is the first time you've ever shown such passion for something you felt strongly about rather than fold," Prowl remarked in a curious tone, "Yet here you are, folding."

"And how exactly am I folding?" Jazz asked bitterly. "Aren't I exactly where you want me? Weak little Jazz. He'll cry a lot but in the end he still runs back to that monster of a mate."

"I wasn't a monster until last night," He replied simply. 

"... I was happy, but it was never enough." Jazz told him quietly, field miserable. "You placed me in a golden cage but a cage nonetheless. I wanted out. I wanted something as simple as the internet, but you denied me all access to the outside world." He glanced at the windows and the clouds surrounding them. "I couldn't even see. And you wonder why it frightened me..."

"We agreed we'd make new memories together," Prowl's optics dimmed in thought, "And if you were to have access to the internet? Or if the windows were opened? What would you say then?"

"I just want to have what they have!" Jazz pointed at the window, "I want to go out whenever I want! I want to be part of that world! I want to use the internet! I want to live, Prowl, not simply exist! You showed me love for music but now I want to share that with everyone! I don't /want/ to stay cooped up in here!"

"We can go on walks," He attempted to compromise.

"Walks." Jazz muttered flatly. "They have the world in their palms and all I get is walks." He looked down sadly. Though...he couldn't even handle more than ten breems alone outside. 

"...I want you to fix me." Jazz said, looking at Prowl.

Prowl stared in confusion, "Fix you?" 

"I want you to fix what you broke. I want you to make me not afraid of outside. To take me out on walks until I can do them on my own. To give me as much access to the internet as I want and to finally, finally be who I really am, not who you made me into."

"I can take you on walks, but the rest is up to you," the taller answered as his wings shuttered faintly.

"Does that mean I get internet?"

"...Yes Jazz, you get internet," Prowl rubbed his optics, weary, "I don't understand your fascination with it."

"It's access to free knowledge." Jazz said quietly and shifted to hug his knees, spent from the argument and sad, but most of all thirsty. He glanced at Prowl uncertainly. "...When can you take me out on a walk?" 

"It's a bit late now, but we can go out tomorrow when you're more up to it," Prowl sighed as he shifted to reach into his subspace and pooled out the cube of coolant and energon he'd grabbed the night prior and offered them one at a time to Jazz.

Jazz stared at the coolant hungrily but with hesitation. In the end necessity forced his hand and he took the cube, giving Prowl an uncertain glance before taking a sip. It showed him how really thirsty he was and he downed the cube in one go. He paused, giving Prowl another look before looking away. He wanted to say so many other things but in the end he could remain only silent. 

Prowl offered him the energon and sat silently as Jazz downed it as well. Once the other had finished, he urged Jazz to get some rest for their day out tomorrow. He waited up till Jazz had fallen into a deep recharge before he also laid down, attempting not to think about the future.

~

The next orn went fast for Jazz. The reason for that was simple: Prowl gave him a data pad with access to the internet and Jazz was lost in all the information it posed. It was like a bottomless pit of knowledge and information. On any topic. Ever.

At first Jazz didn't even /know/ what to do with it. So he started off with the things he knew about - music. He researched the composition he already knew about and...delved into a whole new world. The world of music. 

Jazz had spent the better part of the orn just listening to all the songs and music he could get his hands on. Only by the time he realized that Prowl should come home soon did Jazz decide he should do more important research other than that of his passion - he started to research Cybertron. 

The history was vast. Far too much for him to look at overnight. So he decided to leave it at that and just wait for his ma-... Jazz stopped that trail of thought. Was Prowl his mate? He had lied and manipulated him. He had... betrayed Jazz in the worst possible way. The thought only made Jazz so, so angry. 

But in his head Jazz couldn't picture Prowl anything /but/ his mate.

For so long, that little piece of knowledge had been his ground rule. The one thing he knew. He was Prowl's mate. Period. And now, his core belief was turned into a lie. How did one overcome that?

The thoughts were slowly becoming darker and darker and Jazz felt himself getting upset all over again; he had finally managed an entire orn with no crying so he tried not to think about that but rather the fact that this orn Prowl was taking him out!

He was going to see the real world!

Like clockwork, the door pinged for entry and slid open to let Prowl in. He paused to observe Jazz. The smaller looked /better/, maybe happy? If he squinted. Casually he headed to the kitchen to grab a cube of energon and like routine also grabbed one for Jazz.

Optics glimpsed the datapad still on in Jazz's servos, "Ready to go out then?" He questioned as he took a sip of his cube.

"Yes!" Jazz said, eagerness slipping into his field and voice as he stood up (or rather nearly jumped) from the couch. It was absurd, being excited for something so trivial. For something he had even been allowed to do orns before. "We go right after we drink the energon, right?"

Prowl startled back slightly at the unexpected leap forward, almost dropping his energon before he righted himself, "Yes, after energon."

Jazz nodded and subspaced the data pad, taking the offered cube of energon and downed it while still standing so quickly he nearly chocked. He quickly went to the kitchen and washed the cube in a hurry before returning to Prowl's side, practically vibrating in excitement. 

Prowl stared unimpressed as he worked to finish his own energon, "If you get sick later from that, I'm not cleaning it up." 

Once done Prowl brought his own glass to the sink to clean and put away before he finally turned to the overeager mech watching him like a turbohawk. They stared for an unknown amount of time before Prowl finally nodded and turned to the front door and stood to the side so Jazz could walk out first.

Jazz took the hint and walked out after Prowl opened it. In the same silence they went down the lift and with each floor they passed Jazz felt his spark beat faster and faster. Finally, the elevator stopped and the doors opened, revealing the ground floor. Jazz had been in such a hurry before that he didn't even take notice of his surroundings before.

Hesitantly, the visored mech looked around and saw that it had two more lifts along with the staircase he had used. The entrance of the building had a huge double-door made entirely out of see-through glass. He walked to it and again only now realized that it opened automatically for him, but this time instead of running out like he did the first time he remembered something.

His allergy. 

Another one of Prowl's lies.

Jazz felt his spark constrict in his chest and it took a lot out of him not to yell, cry or hit the other (or all three at the same time) because if he was feeling alright since his previous excursion outside... there was no other logical explanation than Prowl making him sick. But Jazz very quickly and very expertly pushed those thoughts away. Not right now, he couldn't afford an argument. He couldn't afford upsetting himself, not when the real world stood right in front of him. He would confront Prowl about this... but not now. He just needed a couple of joors of not wanting to scream at the Praxian.

Prowl walked passed Jazz and opened the door. He glanced back at Jazz's still form, "Are you coming?" Sensory panels flickered in question before he glanced out himself. He wasn't much for walks or the random mechs that littered the streets and sidewalks, he much preferred staying inside when he wasn't working.

"I... Yes." Jazz said, resolve made as he stepped out the open doors and into the sunlight. It had that soft afternoon sunlight, the air warm. He looked around and saw the street and sidewalk bustling with life like the previous time he was out. So many different mechs and femmes, so many new things he wanted to learn about. "Where should we go?" He asked after a moment, glancing at Prowl, still reveling in the fact that he was outside. Again the thought of Prowl poisoning him surfaced but he quickly stomped it away.

The Praxian looked both ways down the street they were next to before he moved. He didn't transform for Jazz's sake not to mention their destination was not that far, "There's a park not far away." Sensory panels fanned out, taking in surrounding data and shielding Jazz behind him.

"You mean that one?" There was a park in the distance, between the large skyscrapers and a couple of signs directing mechs there. Without thinking (and subconsciously feeling safe that the other was here), Jazz bravely took the initiative this time and headed in that direction, walking around Prowl's spread door-wings.

Panels flickered, following Jazz's sudden turn which quickly had him shooting out an arm to grab him and pull him back onto the sidewalk and out of the street. 

Jazz squeaked in surprise at the sudden change, startled. He blinked at the other confused before quickly snatching his arm back. "Prowl, what're you doing?" 

Prowl's vents sputtered at Jazz's lack of self-preservation, "You just attempted to walk out into a busy street." The white mech replied, wings flared still in alarm as he directed Jazz's attention to the street and many fast moving vehicle forms.

"But the cars are stopping for those mechs." Jazz said confused, pointing to a bunch of differently frame-typed mechs who were crossing the street not far from their location.

Prowl looked to where Jazz was pointing and then back to the smaller, "That's a crosswalk, Jazz. This-" He motioned to the unmarked street, "Is not."

"Oh." Jazz said quietly and rather dumbly. "I remember having a package on street rules but since I never left the apartment I didn't really read them..." He trailed off. Plus, he had spent the entire orn looking at music…which now he realized he should've spent looking up on rules.

Sensory panels settled with a shake as Prowl reached out for Jazz's servo and began to lead him along the street to the crosswalk. He chose not to question why the smaller hadn't thought to look at the rules, knowing they'd be going out.

They hadn't gotten far when Jazz ripped his arm from Prowl's grip. Prowl came to a complete stop and stared at the other with a warning glare before he re-snatched up the smallers servo.

"Prooowl." Jazz said, voice close to whining even if he tried to sound angry and tried to pull his servo free. "No, I'm angry at you. I don't want you holding my hand!" Another pull but Prowl's grip was unrelenting.

"Until you prove to me that you aren't going to walk back out into traffic, you're going to have to suck it up," One panel flickered in annoyance as they made it to the crosswalk. Prowl had to physically pull Jazz back in line when he attempted to walk again when they didn't have a signal.

Prowl rubbed his chevron with a tired sigh, "We should have gone over street rules beforehand." 

Jazz was silent for a while as he stopped struggling and his hand just laid in Prowl's. He frowned, "...I got carried away with the datapad and forgot to look at the actual important stuff." He mumbled, "I'll look over everything I have in my information package these next few orns."

Prowl squeezed Jazz's servo lightly, "It can't be helped. You can look over it tomorrow." The signal changed and Prowl pulled the smaller along, quickly crossing to the other side. 

Jazz didn't comment on that and their walk was continued in silence. Jazz tried a couple of testing jerks to see if Prowl had changed his mind, but nope, the Praxian was still clutching it. 

Jazz kept looking around, trying to take in all the buildings, all the mechs and basically /everything/ around him. He was so absorbed that he didn't even notice when they reached the park Prowl had mentioned, only realizing they were there when the street and buildings were changed in favor of crystal trees.

"Wow, so many crystals..." Jazz said absently as they kept walking, even forgetting the other was still holding his hand.

They walked around absently, Jazz looking at everything like he had just gotten out of Vector Sigma, though in a way it was like that. The words popped out before he could even stop them. "It's so beautiful here. Why don't you like to go out?" 

Sensory panels hiked up and stilled at the question, "...I don't like bots." He didn't go into detail as he released Jazz's servo and moved over to one of the lone benches along the parks winding path.

Jazz followed after him, but he didn't sit, instead still taking in everything around. "Okay...but why?" He asked absently.

Prowl looked at Jazz from his peripheral, not really paying attention to anything besides the smaller mech standing off to the side, "I have my reasons." Wings straightened as a couple walked out of the park laughing and holding servos. Optics dimmed as he watched them leave, "You can look around, just don't wander far."

"Okay." Jazz didn't even notice himself following Prowl's instruction as he spent the next half a joor looking around, tucking in Prowl's 'reasons' to ask about them later and occasionally exploring a crystal or something else interesting he would find.

Eventually Jazz himself grew tired. When was the last time he had moved so much?

Jazz went to the bench Prowl was still at and sat at the opposite end, still looking around curiously.

Panels lowered as Prowl was pulled form his inner thoughts, "Done already?"

Jazz looked up and saw the millions of brilliant starts starting to appear in the dimming sky, some even flickering. He had seen them countless of times from their windows but somehow seeing them from the outside made it... special.

"...I don't want us to go home." Jazz said quietly, a sadness flickering in his voice as he kept staring up at the stars. "...I'm scared that if we do, we might fight again..."

"And if we don't, we'll starve..." Prowl commented blandly.

"Always so literal." Jazz snorted as he finally glanced at Prowl, the distance of a bench between them but it felt like it was much, much more.

Prowl looked around before he stood up, "We should go before it gets too late and the more unsavory characters begin to show themselves." He offered his servo to the other to help him up.

Jazz stared at that servo and he really, really, wanted to take it but... "...How can I willingly take the servo that poisoned me the last time I was outside?" He asked sadly.

"You really think I plan to poison you again? Now?" The white mech asked with skepticism.

"No." Jazz said, pained. "There would be no point. Nothing for you to prove. Nothing for you to manipulate me into. But does that mean I should simply forgive you or turn a blind optic to the simple fact that you did? Primus Prowl, I felt really sick that time."

"Anybot would feel sick with /that/ poison," Optics dimmed as Jazz curled into himself, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." Jazz said quietly but didn't take Prowl's hand even if that pained him. He wrapped his hands loosely around himself as he stared at the other sadly. "...and just for the record, I do want to forgive you. Primus Prowl, I'm trying, I'm really trying here. But how can someone forgive for having made their entire life a lie?"

Prowl chose not to reply and dropped his servo to his side, waiting for Jazz to move.

Slowly, Jazz started their trek back home.

~

They kept sleeping in the same berth and Jazz only spoke with Prowl out of necessity. Never more, never less. The Praxian kept taking Jazz out on walks and jazz himself kept surfing more and more into the internet and learning new things every orn.

Jazz tried to be cold and told himself that Prowl deserved this. Prowl had hurt him in an unimaginable way - he shouldn’t be pitied and take what Jazz was giving him. But...

But then one orn Prowl returned from work and Jazz knew something was wrong.

Prowl didn't make optic contact as he swept into the apartment. Just silently went to the kitchen and took out a glass and some energon of a darker color. He passed up the couch Jazz sat on and went to the table in the dining room that he rarely used. 

A bottle of dark purple energon was placed on the table next to a half full glass. Prowl stared long and hard at his glass before he downed it in one swig.

Jazz followed him with his optics, spark constricting for some reason. This wasn't normal. They lived for so long together and never had Prowl reacted like that before.

In the end Jazz told himself it was curiosity and not worry that prompted Jazz to abandon his pad and follow him into the other room.

"...What's wrong?" Jazz asked quietly, hovering at the entrance, "What are you drinking? Are you sick?"

Prowl paused as he stared at his empty glass before he poured another, "One of my coworkers was offlined today in the line of duty." He shot the next glass and slammed the glass back down and began to pour a third glass. Optics hazed over as he swirled the glass absently before he sipped at this one.

"I'm sorry." Was all Jazz managed to say and then more words left his mouth before he could stop them, "...I thought you didn't like mechs." He said quietly, still watching from a distance and feeling like he should do something but didn’t know what.

"Well...He was the only other mech I did see as a friend," Prowl commented and took another shot. 

For some reason Jazz felt like crying. Before he could stop himself again, Jazz walked the distance to Prowl and finally touched him of his own volition in orns. "...I'm really sorry about your loss." Jazz said gently and meant it, hand resting on Prowl's shoulder.

Prowl stilled at the others touch. He released his grip on his empty glass, leaving it on the table and pulled the smaller into his lap. Arms wrapped around Jazz's frame as he pressed his face into the crook of Jazz's neck. Grip tightening as he attempted to keep his vents steady.

Jazz didn't fight or try to stop him, gently wrapping one of his hands around Prowl and with the other absently petting a door-wing. Jazz didn't know what to say or what to do, and even though he should be pleased at seeing Prowl in pain it only caused his own spark to hurt.

They remained like that for an unknown amount of time before Prowl said anything else, "I'm not going to be able to take you out for a walk today."

"I understand." Jazz said softly and realized that he had cried a little. He pulled back slightly, enough to see Prowl's face before he cupped it with a servo, "Is there something I can do? Do you…do you want me to play you some music?" He asked as a couple of more tears escaped.

Slowly Prowl pulled back to look up into Jazz's visor and gently brushed Jazz's tears away, "I wouldn't be adverse."

Jazz nodded, for a moment leaning into Prowl's touch before he got up and went to get his harp. He pulled one of the chairs close to Prowl before he settled in it and with one final brush of his face from tears Jazz started to softly play.

Sensory panels fluttered at the sound of the harps strings expertly plucked. He hummed along softly as he poured another glass to sip slowly this time.

Jazz allowed himself to be lost in the music. Some time later he stopped, remembering Prowl was there and looked at him sadly. For a mech that claimed they didn’t like others, he was very upset over the loss of someone.

Prowl’s optics unshuttered at the sound of the music coming to an end and slid his glass over to the smaller, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jazz said softly as he put his harp away and gave the cube a curious look as he lifted it, "What is it?"

"High grade," Prowl replied, spark a little lighter after the song, "Drink it slow."

Jazz looked over the oddly colored energon and knew that high grade was meant to get mechs overcharged. To get drunk. The visored mech looked at Prowl uncertainly. Was that what Prowl was trying to do? Was he trying to get overcharged?

It wasn't long before Jazz was taking a sip, visor brightening as he looked at the glass he was holding with a surprised look. "Stingy." He murmured more to himself. It was delicious. Refreshing in a way, like tasting electricity (again he didn't know where that reference had come from), sweet, with a touch of bitter that left a unique aftertaste in his mouth. 

Jazz took another sip before passing the cube back to Prowl. "...Are you trying to get overcharged?" He asked softly. "This is your fifth glass."

Prowl looked at the cube between them, optics dim, "Maybe..." he trailed off before he took the glass and took a large gulp, "If it helps me recharge."

Jazz rested a hand over Prowl's, the one that was holding the near-empty glass and gave him a kind look. "Won't it make you sick?" He asked quietly.

Wings stilled in their upraised position in surprise at the touch and words. Optics brightened and dimmed as he looked back to the glass, not able to hold Jazz's visored gaze, "Always a chance."

Jazz cupped his face, gently turning it so their gazes met. He held it for a long while, seeing something else behind those ice-blue optics. But what? Still, Jazz found himself unable to look away. 

Hesitantly at first, Jazz leaned forward and gave the other a soft kiss. A brush of the lips before he rested his forehead against the other's chevron. 

"...I haven't forgiven you." Jazz whispered, wanting to be clear while still cupping his face with one hand. "But I... I don't hate you Prowl."

Prowl sighed softly and sank into Jazz's affection, unable to form any words.

Optics flickered back on and slid the glass away and capped the bottle of high grade, "Thank you, Jazz."

"You are welcome, Prowler." Jazz offered him a small smile and pulled back. "Now, why don't we go sleep off that high grade you drank?"

Wings flickered in confusion as a frown came over Prowl's face, "Prowler?" Jazz had used the term often but he'd never truly registered it till now.

"I rather think the nickname suits you." Jazz replied as a matter of fact. "You never commented on the nickname before."

"We were usually in the middle of...something. I never thought to ask," Prowl admitted a bit embarrassed.

Jazz shook his helm and pulled the other to his pedes, leading him to their berth room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pjlover666: I would like it to be known that even if they are together, this is NOT an example for a healthy relationship. It is written with purely fictional idea. Enjoy XD

Jazz was sitting next to one of the large windows in the living room, a chair from the kitchen pulled up next to it so that he could peer out at the green clouds. It was such an odd thing - the clouds were green-gray, making everything look more gloomy than it was. Jazz wished for the countless time that their view could at least be low enough to see the street. He wanted to see the droplets of acid fall.

As it were they were high among the clouds and technically he could see some drops forming on the window, but he wanted to see them /fall/.

"This is so odd." Jazz murmured and startled when he felt Prowl place a blanket around his shoulders. How had the other known he was cold? "Have you ever felt acid rain? Does it really hurt as much as it says in the texts?"

Prowl hummed as he moved next to the smaller to sit with his own blanket. He passed a cube to Jazz and joined the other in looking out the window, "It melts through whatever it touches, though they sell resistant materials for those that have to go out even in the weather."

He sat back, wings flared out in a relaxed position as he reclined back, "Most enforcers have acid-proof armor since we commonly have to patrol the streets."

Jazz hummed as he kept peeking but eventually gave up and just focused on the clouds instead. "That means the buildings also are protected too? Since they don't melt?" He wrapped the blanket better around himself but his own armor was thin. He really would've been cold if Prowl hadn't given it back. "Have you ever touched acid rain and got burned?"

Optics flickered in thought, "When I was small."

Absently Prowl glanced back to the couch and moved over to it, but didn't sit and instead pushed the coffee table out of the way before he dropped his blanket in front of the couch, all the while Jazz watching him curiously.

Silently he moved from the living room to the berthroom to rummage around before he pulled out a room heater and set it up where the coffee table was.

The curiosity didn't leave Jazz but he did leave his spot by the window (plus it was colder there) as he went next to Prowl, careful not to step on the blanket. "Wat'cha doin’?"

"It's cold," Prowl replied simply as he turned it on, "So I'm turning the heater on." With a final turn of a knob, the heater cut on and began to blow warm air into the room. Prowl sighed in relief, panels mirroring his emotions as he sat down on the floor and pulled his blanket back over his shoulders.

"Heater?" Jazz murmured as he zeroed in on the machine that was suddenly blowing warmth into the room. He didn't even feel himself shift forward until he was already sitting in front of it next to Prowl with crossed legs. "Ohh Primus, this is soooo good." Jazz actually purred, visor flickering off. "It's so warm." Even his engine purred along with the soft sound the heater was making.

Prowl smiled softly as he looked back out the window, while absently watching Jazz from his peripheral.

Jazz reached forward with a servo in front of the heater, the other holding the blanket as he felt his hand grow warm. "I love the sound." He murmured fondly. "Soothing."

Hesitantly he reached out for Jazz's servo close to the heater and pulled it back gently, still uncertain if Jazz would accept, but offering nonetheless.

Jazz's initial and first reaction was to pull away but stopped, realizing he really did want the contact. Also, the fact that Prowl was waiting to see if he wanted the contact or not, willing to respect his opinion unlike before, where he would've simply pulled Jazz, regardless if he wanted the contact or not.

Jazz shifted with the other's prompting, settling between the other's legs, back rested on Prowl's chest and sighed when the Praxian wrapped his blanket around them both, the warm air from the heater caressing their plating.

"This is nice." Jazz murmured lazily, almost drowsy from the warmth.

Prowl wrapped the smaller in his arms loosely in case the other decided he no longer wanted his contact. He rested his chevron on Jazz's shoulder and just sucked up the warmth from the heater and the frame leaning against him.

Jazz was afraid he would ruin the moment by speaking but in the end his curiosity and need to know bugged him. "...What was my job? Y'know...before..." Jazz murmured, trying to keep his voice casual. He didn't want a fight. Just...information. If Prowl was willing to share.

Optics lit after a few kliks and Prowl murmured softly behind Jazz, "You were a programmer...but I first saw you performing at a bar." Prowl paused, debating whether to continue or not.

"A bar?" Jazz repeated, intrigued. "And a programmer.... That's how I hacked that door." He murmured. "I swear I didn't even know what I was doing but at the same time knew exactly what to do."

They got into another comfortable silence before Jazz asked another question. "Did I meet you? Did I ever know you?" His voice was quiet, quieter than the heater.

"...No," Prowl's optics dimmed in memory, "You were always with someone."

"Oh." Jazz said rather dumbly. He felt the other's mood waning and lifted a hand to cup a cheek but didn't turn Prowl's head; just let his servo rest there. "...What about creators or siblings? Do you know anything about that?"

"Your creators passed away when you were still in the academy and you have no siblings," Prowl replied quietly, "It made things easier when I...took you from the hospital."

The sound escaped Jazz before he could stop it, but thankfully it was quiet. Jazz shifted in Prowl's hold to bury his face in a shoulder, thankful that the blanket also added further cover as he gave a soft whimper.

"Okay." Jazz said quietly. It hurt... it shouldn't, but it hurt to know his creators were gone. Maybe it was for the best. And no siblings... it just made everything, as Prowl said, easier. Jazz knew the Praxian could be lying to him but had a feeling he wasn't.

Prowl held Jazz close as the other curled more into him, "I'm sorry." He murmured softly into Jazz's audio.

Jazz nodded against him and brushed a few tears that managed to escape. "What's done is done." He murmured, "Tell me... tell me more about your own family? I can't believe i haven’t asked sooner..."

Prowl paused at the question and pulled his field in tight, "There's nothing to tell."

Jazz managed to wiggle back enough to stare at Prowl with a small frown, "If you think I haven't learned to read you, you're dead wrong. Why did you pull back your field?"

Prowl grumbled to himself and wouldn't make optic contact, "I prefer not to talk about them."

"Why?" Jazz asked softly.

"My family was not the nicest...or the most loving," Prowl started uncomfortably, "Both of my creators were very strict and...they used to say tears were for the weak."

Jazz didn't know what to say about that. He just looked down and brushed his face from any remaining tears and felt quite ashamed, "...Your creators sound cold." He mumbled and refused to comment on the tears more. "...They weren't cruel, were they?" He asked, hopeful.

Prowl tilted his helm in thought, "There were punishments if I did something wrong or if I didn't do perfectly in school." He looked down at Jazz in confusion, "I don't know if I'd call them cruel."

Jazz already felt his spark spin faster in worry. "...How did they punish you?" He whispered sadly, "Like you punish me?"

Optics flickered in a blink before he shifted them back to the window, "They used to lock me in the closet with my school texts...They wouldn't officially let me out until I answered all of my school work correctly." Wings lowered a fraction, "It was a learning experience."

Jazz pulled back from Prowl in shock. "That's terrible! How could they do that to a youngling?!"

Prowl shrugged not knowing how to answer, "It's how I surpassed everyone in my class..."

"But still..." Jazz trailed off. He cupped Prowl's cheek, "I'm really sorry... I wish it was different."

"What's done is done," Prowl replied simply as he kept his hold around the smaller.

"Yeah." Jazz murmured but it was clear he was still upset. Shifting, Jazz rested curled up in Prowl’s lap, helm turned to look out the window and the green clouds he could see. "Did... did you at least have friends? I dunno, something to balance out... this."

Prowl was silent for several kliks as he looked out the window with Jazz, "I have very low social skills and my home training seemed to garner me more enemies because I was smarter than everyone."

"Is that like... fancy talk that you didn't have friends?" Jazz mumbled, somehow expecting the answer but hope lived in him that he was wrong.

Prowl's wings lifted and dropped in a shrug, "Not that I had any free time to make friends."

"M'sorry." Jazz mumbled.

"It's fine," Prowl whispered in return and tucked Jazz's helm under his chin. The heater blowing being the only sound heard the rest of the night.

~

"P-Prowler?" Jazz asked, burying his helm under the blanket as his entire frame was shaking. "M'still cold."

The acid clouds were firmly clinging to Praxus. There were talks about it on the news and scientists there were pretty certain that this was because slowly Cybertron was growing more and more polluted. There were cities that were taking measures to lower it but they were far outnumbered by the ones that practically didn't give a frag.

Where there was acid, there was also cold.

Jazz at first enjoyed the fact that they got to use the heater. He was in love with the warmth it produced and the soothing sound it emitted while it blew the warm air. But this orn, no matter how much he had bundled up in the covers and was practically lying in front of the heater again (over a mountain of pillows) he just couldn't get warm. It didn't help that he felt like slag too.

The previous orn he was tired. But it was this orn that he started to really feel like someone had pushed his entire frame though a grinder and then poured acid in his chest.

Prowl walked into the living room from the kitchen with a cube of coolant that he quickly offered to the smaller. He reached under the blanket where Jazz's helm would be and felt it and then his chest. He held back a wince when the plating was surprisingly hot to the touch, "You have a fever." Prowl announced as he went back to the kitchen and came back shortly with a cube full of additives.

He gently pulled Jazz up and out of the blankets to a sitting position, "See if you can take this, it should help." Prowl offered the cube to Jazz but quickly decided to hold it for him when the other brought up shaking servos to grab at the cube.

Jazz barely took a sip before pushing it away, cube of coolant sitting next to him untouched. He shook his helm, shuttering his visor as even light was too much to take in. He clumsily tried to wrap his blanket around himself, resting more against Prowl. "Can't." He whispered, starting to feel sleepy.

Prowl sat back slowly and let Jazz rest against his frame. His servo came up again to feel his heated helm and frowned, "You're much too warm." He mumbled to himself.

Jazz didn't respond. He simply laid draped against Prowl, visor dark and seemingly offline. His vents were puffing out hot air. Jazz even stopped clutching the blanket, not having the power to do it.

"Jazz?" Prowl questioned as the other began to fall limp. Hesitantly he pulled the blankets from around the smaller, planning to move him to the berthroom or maybe even the washracks when he saw /it/. Energon was steadily streaming from the base of Jazz's chest seam, soaking the blanket and when he glanced back to the pillows he was earlier laying on, he saw that they too were covered in his energon.

Prowl quickly lifted Jazz up onto the couch, uncaring that the energon would stain it as well and pressed the blanket to the spot he could see it coming from, "I'm going to get a medic Jazz, whatever you do, stay awake." He kissed the other's warm helm and rushed out the apartment door.

He didn't have to go far as he came to the door just down the hall that he was looking for. Urgently he knocked on the door and waited impatiently for the mech to open it. His explanation was short but was enough to have the mech grab his medkit and follow Prowl back to his apartment to the waiting Jazz.

The mech knelt down next to Jazz and gingerly removed the blanket from the seam. He visually inspected the seam before he plugged into Jazz's medical port to force Jazz's chest plates open to reveal a busted line and more energon accumulated there.

"He needs to go to the hospital." His neighbor said urgently as he worked. "I can stop the leak but I don't have the proper tools to replace the line. But problem is, it's still raining outside! I'm not sure how fast someone who is able to carry him could come."

Prowl frowned, his brow ridge furrowed in worry as he stared at the energon still leaking out, "I'll call." Prowl replied as he walked back to the kitchen with a parting glance to Jazz's offline frame.

The medics arrived around twenty breems later. It wasn't as soon as his neighbor had hoped but at least they were there and were able to load Jazz's prone form into one of them. Medics, along with enforcer, were some of the few who had reinforced plating against acid. It was an expensive upgrade. Very few civilians had it. The medics during the acid storms were more busy bringing in mechs who had no where to go during the storms and treating acid burns then actually doing anything else.

Prowl hurried after the medics as they took his mate to the nearest hospital and hoped everything was all right.

~

"...one would think that they would run out of tears after so much crying."

Jazz's voice was quiet, barely whispered in the small gray room. The clouds were still outside but this time they were in a building low enough to actually see the little green raindrops. They trickled down pretty much in the same way as Jazz's tears slid down his face. But there was no emotion on his face; even his frame wasn't moving.

He was just sitting on the berth, facing the window and shoulders hunched. He was just staring outside and if there wasn't liquid running down his face one might not even notice something was wrong. That and the fact that he was hooked up to a spark monitor. No more drips for him - the medics had restored his energon loss and fixed his burst line.

"...how could I have been sparked and not feel anything?" Jazz breathed, the words barely audible, the question more to himself than the mech standing helplessly behind him. Jazz shook his helm, unable to find an answer. "Nothing. Not even a blip. Not even... It's as if it never even existed."

A miscarriage.

The medics had explained that miscarriages weren't so uncommon, especially this early. It had simply started out this way. And they had spark-merged one time. One. Single. Time. And then all that chaos had followed... The medics denied the stress to be the main cause for this but not the fact that it played a role.

"I should've felt it." Jazz went on, strangely numb. "I should've at least acknowledged it existed. It was a life. And now it's gone. Without a trace. If I hadn't ruptured a line we wouldn't have even known..."

Jazz rested a hand over his chest and finally winced. His face contorted in such a way as if someone was torturing him in the worst imaginable way. "...How can I miss something that never existed? How can I mourn something that never was?" Jazz finally chocked out. "Why does it hurt so much?"

Prowl sat beside his berth, quiet, unknowing what to say or how to answer the smaller. Neither of them expected this, for Jazz to spark on their first merge, not to mention it wasn't a merge in the middle of an interface, that being the farthest thing from both of their minds at the time.

"It hadn't even formed sentience yet, Jazz," He tried to explain logically. Why Jazz shouldn't feel such pain or loss over a thing he hadn't known even existed until it was gone.

"I-I-I know." Jazz whispered, clenching the hand over his chest into a fist, "Primus, why am I so messed up...?"

Wings lowered a fraction at the other's sparkbroken tone, "...because it was still a life, one that you were still nurturing even though it was unconsciously."

"Please take me home." It wasn't a request as Jazz turned finally to look at the other. "Please, _please_ get me out of here."

Optics brightened at the other's tone before he nodded, "I'll be right back." He replied right before he got up and left the room to find the medic. If Jazz was feeling well enough to leave then they would leave.

Prowl returned a while later with a medic in tow. Jazz was asked a series of questions to see if he understood his situation, but Jazz was adamant. He wanted to leave and he wanted to leave now.

They were keeping him for observation anyway. The medic wasn’t happy when Jazz signed the pad and advised Prowl to keep a lookout in case there's another bleed or if Jazz begins to feel faint. Other than that and a prescription for energon with additives, Jazz was sent home.

Once home, Prowl made sure the smaller was settled on the floor before the couch, now thankfully no traces of his energon left there. Prowl fixed his energon with the additives that the doctor prescribed. He didn't know what to say to Jazz once he handed the energon off. He didn't even know if Jazz wanted to talk after such a thing happening but at the same time he could see how the situation was effecting him.

"Do you want to talk?"

"...I don't know what to say." Jazz whispered. His face was finally clear from all the tears but it still looked like he could break into crying any moment.

Their apartment was still cold so the heater was on and Jazz just focused on it instead. But one thought couldn't leave him, "...What if we hadn't lost it. What then?" He whispered, cradling the energon in his hands and not really thinking.

Prowl paused before he slowly lowered to the ground to sit next to Jazz, "We would have taken care of it, of course." Brow ridge furrowed, "Did you think I'd make you get rid of it?"

"...Honestly? Both." Jazz murmured, looking down at the cube, "I just... if-if it had survived..." And Jazz needed a moment here to collect himself to go on, "...h-how would we have raised it? We're a mess. I can't even go outside without you. And then...there was the fear of you demanding we remove it. Or worse - do it yourself." He finished, ashamed.

"I do have morals, Jazz," Prowl replied slightly offended, "And I would never take a life."

Several kliks of silence passed between them before Prowl sighed and leant back to rest against the couch, "But who knows, it could have helped...maybe."

"...I'm just so sad." Jazz whispered. He buried his helm on his knees, "Just when I think things are looking up...this happens." He whimpered.

Hesitantly Prowl reached a servo out but paused right before he touched the smaller. Would his touch be unwanted?

Jazz whimpered, sounding near tears.

Prowl's resolve broke as he took the smaller into his arms, no matter if the other tried to fight him. Jazz clearly needed comfort and no one else was going to give it to him. He firmly stroked between Jazz's helm horns in a soothing manner.

Jazz cried a couple of more times before he finally calmed down and just laid there in Prowl's arms, hugging him loosely.

Jazz didn't know how it happened, but at one point while being nuzzled Jazz's lips found Prowl's. He wasn't sure if it was an accident or not but there was longing and need in his field.

Prowl startled at the sudden kiss and would have pulled away if Jazz's field hadn't suddenly enveloped his own. The other's need encouraged him to reciprocate the unexpected kiss, but kept it limited to a brush of lips.

He pulled away after a short moment and had to hold the other back before he could press close for another kiss, "You're not in your right mind, Jazz."

"Ha." Jazz gave a choked laugh. "When has that ever stopped you?'" He brushed his face and shook his helm as if trying to clear it before looking away, "'M'sorry. That was mean of me."

"If I wasn't worried about it making things worse, I probably wouldn't," Prowl muttered more to himself as he continued to hold the other slightly away before he eased the other back to a more comfortable position.

"...How can things possibly get worse?" Jazz asked pitifully, looking at Prowl.

Prowl sighed softly and lifted Jazz from the floor and carried him to their berthroom, "We're not going to think about that now, Jazz. You need rest and a good defrag." He laid the other down and crawled in quickly after him, pinning him to the berth.

"...Was about to say that you're very different but some of your old self is here." Jazz mumbled but didn't fight or shift under Prowl. If anything, the familiarity of this action was soothing.

Wings flapped behind Prowl as he pet the back of Jazz's helm, "Recharge now, Jazz."

~

"Driving?" Jazz repeated, surprised. He was sitting on the couch - the couch he hadn't gotten up from at all since he came home from the hospital - legs drawn close and a blanket loosely draped around him. Finally it was warm outside and all of the puddles of acid had dried up.

Mechs could finally /drive/.

Driving was never a concept he had contemplated. Yes, he had wondered about it from time to time and noticed how every one else could do it but it was something he assumed he...wouldn’t do. He didn't even know how to transform, let alone the rules of the streets.

"Yes, driving," Prowl replied in turn as he absently read a datapad. "It would be beneficial for when we go out further and would also save us time." Ice blue optics glanced over at Jazz, "You can transform. We're just going to have to take it slow."

"...I don't remember how to transform." Jazz mumbled, looking away. Actually, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to go out. But after he fought so hard it didn't seem right to refuse now.

"We'll have to search your code, it's more than likely been pushed back to a less important part of your processor...." He made no comment on that most likely being his fault, keeping the smaller indoors. "We'll worry about that once we make it to the track though."

Turning his datapad off, Prowl shifted to stand and looked to Jazz, "Would you like to do that now?"

"I.... don't know?" Jazz said uncertainly. "Why are you acting so odd? You're...giving me freedom."

Optics dimmed as a frown formed on his face, "Would you rather I not? You clearly didn't like the real me." Wings flared out in agitation. Everything had been all right until Jazz had found the room and in turn the true story.

It didn't matter what he did now though, Jazz would always hate him. There was no purpose to punishing him when that hadn't ever done anything except grow Jazz's fear of him. Even trying to do what he thought were nice things, he didn't get much of a reaction.

He'd given the other freedom, though Prowl had to go out with him still. Prowl had given him what he wanted but was now being interrogated for it?

Was he really acting so odd from the past several days?

"...I know I don't want the fake you." Jazz said quietly, daring himself to look at Prowl. "I want you to be...yourself. But to also respect my decisions. I want to learn to live with the real you."

Prowl frowned, unsure of how to respond before he vented in agitation and looked away, "Do you still want to go out?"

"...I think so." Jazz said, voice hopeful. He paused before forcing himself to say more certainly, "Wait, I mean yes. Yes, let's go out."

Prowl nodded and silently offered his servo to pull Jazz up from the couch, "That is if your legs still work, after sitting for so long."

"Ha-ha." Jazz said drily but took Prowl's offered servo and stood up. But instead of heading to the door Jazz decided he needed a hug.

Prowl stilled at the sudden contact but quickly relaxed and patted the other's back, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Jazz mumbled. "At least…I hope so." He really wasn't sure. "I don't know."

Wings fanned out as Prowl hummed softly, "We should head out now before it gets too late...or crowded."

"...Crowded?" Jazz asked surprised as he pulled back to slightly look at Prowl, confused.

"The track gets busy and I'd prefer less bots while trying to show you how to transform and drive." Not to mention the track was mostly for bots wanting to let loose and go as fast as they could push their engines.

Prowl pulled back as well and headed for the door. He waited till Jazz exited the apartment before he locked it and headed for the buildings lift.

They made it to the track in silence minus a few rules Prowl told him about the streets symbols and signs. There were no incidents this time around and they were through the tracks gates with their limbs and paint perfectly in tact.

Looking around, Prowl saw that it was still too early for the more excitable drivers to be there which worked out perfectly for them. A few creators were off to the sides in the smaller tracks showing their younglings how to properly transform and drive in a more or less straight, if not a bit squiggly line.

They stayed at the side of one of the smaller circle tracks that was for young adults but was the perfect size for Jazz's frame type and they could avoid the joyrider’s this way. He turned to the smaller after coming to a stop aside the track, "See if you can locate your transformation sequence."

Jazz nodded and searched for the code. He needed a while to find it and when he did he yelped in surprise as his frame started to shift! He had no idea what was going on other than allowing his frame to do as it wanted.

"Wow!" Jazz called out, his headlights blinking excitedly. "This is so cool! I didn't know I could do that!"

Prowl smiled softly at Jazz's excitement, "Good." He praised as Jazz bounced lightly on his hover jets, "I'd recommend checking through your new code before you start moving."

"Checking through the code..." Jazz repeated confused but decided to try going /forward/ and suddenly sped off. "WOW!"

Sensory panels flared in alarm as Jazz leapt forward with alarming speed. Quickly he transformed and came up to Jazz's side, "Jazz, use your brakes!" This was why you didn't teach a bot to learn how to drive when they were fully grown. As a youngling they couldn't go fast enough where their creators couldn't catch them and they didn't go fast enough to harm themselves.

"Brakes?!" Suddenly Jazz came to a scraping halt, his rear side swinging violently until he lost control and started spinning but thankfully slowed down until he came to a complete stop, breathing hard.

"Holy... Primus." Jazz said, gasping and dizzy, "That was AWESOME!"

Prowl came to a stop in front of Jazz and sighed, "Please don't accelerate like that again. You're supposed to take it slow for your first time." Headlights flashed as he moved to Jazz's side, "Try reversing."

"Reversing?" Jazz asked, confused, "You mean going backward- ah!" He sped off again and Prowl's enforcer lights flashed in alarm but this time he managed to stop himself before going too far, "I love this! I can't wait to master driving!" Suddenly all of his doubts and depression were gone. Jazz didn't even remember being so happy in a while.

If Prowl was in bipedal form, he'd be rubbing his chevron. He told himself if they walked away with Jazz still in one piece then they'd done good, "Okay, I guess you've got the basics of going, stopping and reversing." Prowl started as he scanned the track to make sure they were still alone before he turned around to be pointing the same direction Jazz was, "Let's try actual driving and steering."

"Okay..." Jazz said as he started driving forward, again rushing in the start but then regaining control over his speed and driving at a more sedate and slow pace, "Woohoo, like this?"

"Just like that," Prowl praised as he drove to the side and slightly behind Jazz. He watched as Jazz slightly wobbled out of his lane, "Try staying in the lane. Once you master that we'll move onto more complicated tracks."

"'Kay."

Jazz drove like that for a couple of laps before he felt daring and sped up a little. Another couple of laps like that before Jazz dared a little faster. "This is so much fun!" He yelled, "Can we find out how fast I can go?"

Prowl hesitated, but the other would need to go pretty fast to avoid getting run over on the road anyway. Prowl sped up in answer next to Jazz before he took overtook him.

"Prowl!" Jazz called out, but he was laughing as he also sped up.

Primus, this felt amazing. Wonderful. Like a breath of fresh air if he was someone who needed to breathe. Jazz couldn't describe the feeling other than pure /joy/.

"Why hadn't we done this sooner?!" Jazz laugh as he drove next to Prowl and started to pass him.

Prowl flashed his lights at him teasingly before he picked up speed to overtake and pass the small speedster.

Jazz's laughter couldn't be heard over his running engine as he started to push himself. And it felt so good to feel the wind against his plating.

In the end Jazz managed to catch up to Prowl but it was the fastest his engine would allow him.

"Prooowl!" Jazz laughed.

Slowly they both lowered to a more sedate pace until they came to a complete stop. Prowl transformed venting hard. It wasn't often outside of a high-speed chase during work that he ever got to run his engine like that.

He turned to Jazz, servos on hips as he took in cool air, "I think if you can manage that speed without crashing then you'll do fine on the road."

Jazz transformed as well, doing another whooping sound as he grinned at Prowl. On the racetrack next to them one of the mechs came to a drifting stop, stopping perfectly.

"Wow, that was incredible!" Jazz said, impressed as he took a few steps closer to the other track where more mechs were doing that.

Sensory panels hiked up as Jazz took a step toward the other track.

"You mean drifting?" One of the mechs looked towards Jazz and smiled. "Yeah, it's awesome."

Another one also spoke up, "Though we do it only here because it's safer. I don't recommend drifting on the streets." He said, noticing how the enforcer's sensor panels rose and saw his decals.

"Don't worry, I don't even know how to drift." Jazz said, returning the smile.

"Want us to teach you? At least the basics." The first one spoke again.

"Really?" Jazz asked, surprised. Then, without even thinking he turned to Prowl, "Can they teach me how to 'drift'?" He asked, eager.

Prowl frowned at the mechs on the other track as he replied, "I think it's still a bit early to be trying such a stunt."

"I guess..." Jazz turned to offer them an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

"S'cool. Have fun though! We're here every other orn so when you do wanna learn call us." The mechs grinned at Jazz before winking at him and shifted back into their alt modes to resume driving.

Prowl continued to frown at the mechs, wings flared out aggressively behind him so focused on the two he didn't hear Jazz calling him.

"Prowler?" Jazz asked again and this time went to touch his servo. "What's wrong? Why are you upset?" He motioned at the other’s door-wings. He had mastered reading the other's sensory panels over all the time they spent together.

Wings jerked as Prowl startled back into awareness. Optics flickered to Jazz in confusion at Jazz's words before he remembered what he was just doing and how it might have looked, "I'm not upset." He denied, one sensory panel twitching.

"Then why are they so high?" Jazz asked, reaching with a hand for the closest panel. "They get high when you're angry." He said quietly. "Did I do something wrong?"

"It was nothing you did-" Prowl abruptly cut himself off, knowing he just admitted to being upset by answering that question.

Jazz frowned. "Okay. Did those mechs do something wrong?" He asked, not dropping the subject.

Prowl kept his mouth shut and remained silent not wanting to answer. Not trusting himself to answer. His wings continued to advertise his mood and just how those mechs made him feel.

"Prowl..." Jazz started, close to whining. "Why aren't you speaking with me? What's wrong? I don't understand why you're trying to lie to me! I know you - I know your wings. They are high when you're angry like this and they twitch every time you lie so glaringly obvious to my face! I just don't know why."

Prowl's wings drooped on his back and his optics dimmed, "They were hitting on you.." He replied as though that should explain everything.

Jazz stared, trying to process that sentence. "...You got jealous?" He asked, uncertain.

Wings flared again and optics brightened before narrowing, as he stepped closer, "I am not jealous." He grit out before his optics darted back to the speedsters making donuts on the other track.

"Then what are you?" Jazz asked quietly as he lifted a servo to cup Prowl's face and turned him back to face him.

Prowl's vents stuttered not wanting to admit to being jealous of those mechs. He growled and grit his denta but wouldn't meet Jazz's visor as he replied, "I'm maybe a little possessive of you."

"...It's not 'maybe' and it's definitely not 'a little'." Jazz said but there was no resentment in his field. Only simple curiosity. "Why though? I'm with you, not them."

Optics flickered to Jazz's visor but didn't last as he looked to the side, "Not as though that can't change." As much as Prowl wanted to lock Jazz back up in his apartment and never let him out again, there was nothing he could actually say to keep the smaller. Yes, he could forcefully lock him up, but he didn't want Jazz to be scared of him, though Prowl knew it was much too late for that now.

Jazz gave a soft sigh and rested his helm against Prowl's chest. "Let's go home?" He murmured, taking Prowl's hands in his.

The Praxian was uncertain for a moment but if this is what Jazz wanted and it would keep him away from prying optics, then it suited him fine. They didn't drive, he didn't think Jazz was yet ready to try his new learned skills in actual traffic so they took the pubic transport again.

When they got home Jazz was still in a funky mood. He felt... confused and conflicted about his feelings for Prowl.

"What?" Prowl asked when he felt Jazz had been staring at him for the last few breems without moving.

Without actually feeling his frame move, Jazz went next to Prowl and got on his toes to kiss him on the lips. He felt the Praxian tense and placed one hand behind Prowl's head to keep their forhelms touching when the kiss ended to keep the taller from moving back.

"...Thank you." Jazz said quietly, looking down, "I really enjoyed this orn. I haven't felt this happy since...since..." Before he opened that door.

Prowl unfroze at the sincere statement though he could still see Jazz struggling. He brushed a servo over Jazz's cheek and then to his chin. Delicately he tilted the other's helm back up to meet his optics, "You're welcome." Lightly, he pressed his own kiss to Jazz's lips before he swiftly pulled away.

As much as Prowl wanted to do more, he rather preferred it when Jazz didn't lash out and was willing at least or consenting at best.

"You're really trying." Jazz's hands snuck down Prowl's arms until he was holding his servos and gave them a light squeeze. "You're really trying to change for me." He got on his toes again and pressed for a kiss, this one much deeper than the previous one, a little bit of desperation sneaking into his voice.

Optics brightened unsure if he was being tested but couldn't help but lean down to add his own pressure into the kiss. His free servo came back up and stroked Jazz's cheek and neck, but feeling again that he was taking advantage of the situation, he pulled back.

He could tell Jazz was uncomfortable with his home now as he'd watched his light literally dim when the door closed. Gently he led Jazz over to the couch and sat him down while he moved the coffee table out of the way.

Jazz likely wouldn't want to return to the berthroom so he might as well start creating better memories in a different setting. He pulled several spare meshes and a sleeping mat out of a trunk that sat behind the couch. Silently, he laid the mat out before he covered it with the meshes and a few pillows that Jazz seemed to like and finally moved the heater to the side of the makeshift berth.

Prowl sat down on the pad and patted the side next to him in offer for the smaller to join him.

Jazz followed after him and sat down close. "... I know I'm playing with fire." He murmured. "But... I like it." He looked at Prow uncertainly before shifting to turn on the heater. He decided to focus on that instead.

Prowl grabbed Jazz's wrist as he pulled away from the heater, "I promise not to burn you...not this time." The Praxian murmured low with conviction and helm bowed before he pressed a kiss to the back of Jazz's servo.

"I'm trying to... to piece my life and myself back together." Jazz breathed as he felt electricity where Prowl's lips touched his hand. "Oh Prowl..."

Prowl pulled away and took Jazz's face into his servos. Optics locked with visor and dimmed as he pressed forward to kiss Jazz on the lips. His field wrapped around Jazz's frame and gently but firmly took the smaller into his arms and rested his chevron on top of Jazz's helm.

Jazz felt his breath shake as he shuttered his visor and just basked in the other's field. "It...it hurts here." Gently, he took one of Prowl's hands and pressed it to his chest, above his spark without breaking contact, "It always hurts here. But...when I'm with you..." Finally Jazz's visor flickered back on, "It doesn't hurt."

Ice blue optics brightened in surprise at the words, followed by relief. He kissed Jazz hard as his field unfurrowed more to envelope the smaller fully with his possessive love. Jazz was his alone and no one else’s.

Prowl pressed Jazz back into the berth pad and hovered over the smaller to gaze into his bright visor, "It hurts me to see you in pain."

"Sometimes you hurt me too." Jazz dared himself to admit a truth both of them knew. The heater blew warm air softly over him as he gazed up at Prowl. "You hurt me so, so much." He shuddered, "I don't know how it's even possible, but Primus, Prowl, I love you. I love you so much, more than the hurt, more than the pain. Even if your love... your 'possession' of me scares me. But it makes me feel safe at the same time." He didn't know anything else. "A part of me thinks I shouldn't...but I can't imagine existing in this world without you."

Optics dimmed at Jazz's admission, but he couldn't be angry with him for being honest. Prowl preferred straight truths over dancing around them, "You know I don't mean to hurt you."

"I know." Jazz murmured and cupped Prowl's face. "Believe me, I know. And I know you love me, in your own way. Just as I do in my own." Jazz brought their faces closer and kissed Prowl.

Prowl returned the kiss, enjoying the other actually initiating contact. Wings fanned out behind him as he pulled away to lay next to the smaller with his servo resting over Jazz's chest.


	8. Chapter 8

::Prowl!:: Jazz's voice was frantic. It was odd being the one to call after getting his comms re-activated but Jazz couldn't help but be thankful for that fact. ::PROWL! Someone's trying to get into the apartment!:: And it /couldn't/ be Prowl because the Praxian's work time was nowhere near over and Prowl never needed to fiddle so much with the key pad outside of their apartment. There was a small hope in Jazz that it really was Prowl outside and somehow fiddling with the key-pad, but that hope was quickly dying.

Prowl answered Jazz's comm after it pinged the second time, ::Jazz?:: He was currently in the middle of a briefing from one of his agents and really didn't have the time to talk, but with Jazz insistently pinging him it must have been urgent.

Upon hearing someone was at the door trying get in, Prowl was on his pedes and exiting his office leaving his agent completely baffled as he was cut off midsentence.

Jazz was about to call out to Prowl one more time, shaking in the middle of the room just as the front door finally pinged open.

It wasn't Prowl.

"W-who are you?" Jazz asked, frowning as he took a step back. "What the frag are you doing here? Leave or I'll call the Enforcers!"

The mech came up short at the sight of Jazz and glanced around to find out if he was in the right place. Optics narrowed at Jazz, "You're not supposed to be here." The mech said low as he approached Jazz and made a grab for him when the smaller dodged.

He growled as Jazz evaded which just made him try that much harder to catch, "I'm not going to hurt you." The mech said in a sickly sweet tone, "I didn't know Prowl had a mate."

"Who are you?" Jazz asked, making sure there was distance between them and glanced at the door but the mech was right in his path. "Prowl’s not here! What do you want? Just get lost!"

"Hold still!" The mech shouted as he leapt for Jazz again. "No one should have been here and I sure as pit can't let you /stay/ here." The mech growled as he tripped over the heater in his attempt to grab the Polyhexian.

"Things will go a lot smoother if you stop running."

Jazz didn't say anything as he managed to avoid the other mech's grabs and leaped for the door, this time managing to make it and ran down the stairs without even glancing back.

Jazz was just turning the corner down the stairs when he ran straight into Prowl.

Prowl grabbed Jazz as he rounded the corner, "Jazz!" Another enforcer trailed behind him and came up short when Prowl suddenly stopped. "Are you okay?" He looked over the smaller barely waiting for the other to respond when he moved Jazz behind him and continued up the stairs.

He was going to catch the mech that broke into his home and caused Jazz such fear.

"No! Prowl! Wait, it's dangerous!" Jazz called, running after Prowl and trying to stop him, "You'll get hurt!" When they got near their apartment they saw smoke coming out of it from the still open door.

Prowl ignored Jazz, optics narrowed as he saw the smoke coming from the open door, "Stay here."

Swiftly he entered the room but saw no mech. Optics landed on the heater that was knocked over and where the smoke was coming from. It had caused a mini fire with the bedding close by.

He threw a mesh over the burning bedding and smothered the flames as he righted the heater. 

Sensory panels twitched at a movement behind him towards the berthroom. Quickly he snapped his helm around in that direction, wings high as he pulled a pistol and approached the room.

He could see the mech on the other side of the berth searching for something as he flipped and tossed things around. Optics narrowed as he stopped in the doorway, gun raised, "Enforcer! Put your hands up."

The mech froze before he slowly turned around, frowning and hands up, "So you caught me." He said bitterly, "Who would've thought you have someone, let alone a mate, living with you."

Prowl's wing twitched, acknowledging Jazz's presence behind him with the other enforcer, "Turn around." He ignored the mechs goading and waited for him to turn before he approached to cuff the mech.

The mech turned around, a dark look passing over his face. "It's a pity my plan was failed by something so simple I overlooked." He glared in Jazz's direction. "It was a stupid mistake."

Jazz finally dared to go close enough it peak over Prowl's door-wing, frowning at the mech in return.

"I came here to destroy his home for doing the same to mine. Now I think I should've just destroyed you instead." The mech said darkly, glaring at Jazz. 

Prowl's wing lifted to block Jazz from the mechs view as he pulled the mechs servos behind his back and cuffed him. "You'd be wise to be quiet," He grabbed the mechs cuffed wrists and walked him out of his berthroom and toward the other enforcer still in the room.

"What did Prowl ever do to you?" Jazz asked, confused as he followed the two, "How could you even think it's okay to break into another mech's home?!"

"But it was okay to break into mine?!" The mech struggled in Prowl's grip to glare at Jazz, "He was obsessed with my lover! He ruined my life! He doesn't deserve to have a family when I don't!!"

"He...what?" Jazz whispered, shocked.

Prowl shoved the mech toward the other enforcer, "Take him back to the station, I'll handle the report in the morning."

"You ruined my life!" The mech snarled. "So I'll ruin yours."

Jazz watched the mech get taken away, worried, before he focused on Prowl. Hesitantly, he asked, "...What's he talking about?"

Prowl waited for the other enforcer to leave with the mech before he focused his attention on Jazz, "I arrested him before..." He took a look around at the damage the mech had caused and sighed before he got to work putting things and furniture back into place, "His lover, whom I didn't know was his lover at the time had made it a point to get into my berth." 

He frowned at the burnt bedding and picked it all up and threw it into a corner, "The mech was average, I wouldn't say I was obsessed."

"...But you did sleep with him?" Jazz asked quietly, no judgment in his voice. If anything, he sounded curious. 

"I did," Prowl confirmed as he stood up to survey the room before he moved on to the berthroom, "I didn't learn till later what their association to the mech you just saw was."

Jazz was silent as he watched the other before going to help him in the clean up. He was still slightly shaken from the entire ordeal but thankfully nothing bad had happened. "...it's peculiar." He murmured, curious. "You're not just..." Here he struggled with the word, "...dominant with me, are you? You were kinda like that with his mate?" 

Sensory panels tilted in confusion, "Is that a problem?" 

Jazz froze for a moment, before gently shaking his helm. "...No. Just...curious." He said honestly. "...I really can't picture you not being how you are." He blushed.

Optics shuttered in a blink as Prowl stared at Jazz's flushed face, "That's how I've always been...but you like me that way?"

The question made Jazz sputter, "I-I-I d-don't know you in any other way!" He felt his blush growing.

"But you don't want me to change that," Prowl replied in turn as he paused in what he was doing.

"I..." Jazz's blush faded as he looked away before gazing back at Prowl, "I don't want you to change who you are. I want you to be you. Even... even if the real you scares me. But I can learn to live with that." He said quietly at the end.

"But what that mech said bothered you," Prowl stated as he went back to picking things up off of the ground to put them back into their proper drawers.

"It didn't bother me. It just..." Jazz shrugged, "...For some insane reason I never pictured you with anyone...before me. Or with anyone. Period." He glanced at Prowl, "...It made me curious. That's all."

"There weren't many and none of them lasted very long," Prowl answered with a frown as he lifted up some broken items before he tossed them into the trash bin. 

"How come?" Jazz asked, going close but just watching the other work, "Ya didn't lock 'em up so they managed to leave?" But as soon as he heard the words he regretted them, "M'sorry. It slipped."

Prowl smiled bitterly at the statement but didn't turn to look at Jazz, "No, I didn't lock any of them up. I just lacked.../personality/." Wings fanned out as he stepped back to look at the cleared floor.

"I disagree." Jazz said quietly, "You lack other things, but personality isn't one of them. You have a unique personality. Too unique." He looked away, "... And I really did enjoy...the /things/...you did to me. Even if I was scared."

Optics dimmed as he turned to look at Jazz, "Are you scared now?"

"...What if I wasn't?" Jazz looked back at him.

Prowl gave him a wane smile, "I wouldn't judge you if you still were."

"I think you're the scared one." Jazz said sadly and dared to come nearer.

The white mech remained still as Jazz approached. Optics remained dim as he watched the smaller.

Jazz went closer and placed his hands on Prowl's chest. "...What we have is complicated. And filled with sharp edges and we cut ourselves at every move. But... it doesn’t change the fact that we want to be together. And...it's enough. Whoever I was is gone, Prowl. I am, as it pains me, someone else. Partially someone who you created. And..." He rested his helm against Prowl's chest, "I'm still trying to find the other part of me."

Hesitantly Prowl lifted his servo up to Jazz's helm and stroked gently along the back of his neck, "I'm only scared that you'll leave once you find that part."

Jazz just squeezed Prowl tightly. He didn't want to give a promise he was scared he wouldn't be able to keep. In the end, all he managed to say was, "...I love you."

Prowl pulled Jazz back and searched the smaller's visor, "You've said that before and I still find it hard to believe."

"You and me both." Jazz gave a small chuckle before squeezing the other tight. "...No one else can come in, right?" He whispered.

Wings tilted in confusion, "The door is locked, yes. Is that important?"

"...I don't want another one of the mates of your exes to come inside." Jazz mumbled.

Sensory panels shot up in offense, "I hope that was a joke. I don't make it a habit of sleeping with bonded mechs." He'd only done it once and he didn't even know the mech was bonded.

"I really got scared." Jazz mumbled against the other's plating. "...I'm tired of feeling scared."

Prowl didn't know how to settle the others fear, he didn't know of any other mech who might try such a thing or even know where he lived. "Would you feel better if I added another lock to the door?"

"Maybe... I think so." Jazz said quietly, just pressing close before giving a soft sigh, "C'mon, let's have energon. I'm sure we both need it...."

Sensory panels relaxed and Prowl nodded as he led Jazz out of the berthroom to sit on the couch before he grabbed them some energon from the kitchen. He handed Jazz a cube of energon as he fiddled with the heater and didn't sit until he got it working again.

Silence reigned between them for several kliks as they drank their energon before Prowl finally broke it, "We could always move..."

"...'Move'?" Jazz repeated as he glanced at Prowl curiously. "...but this is our home. You like our apartment..." 

Prowl sipped his energon slowly as he gathered his thoughts, "But you're not happy here." Optics flickered to Jazz, "Are you?"

"...I don't know." Jazz looked around, sad, "I...love this place. It's my first home. I don't know anything else... I just... I dunno." He gazed down. "I don’t want you to move because of me."

"The view is nice...but other than that, I don't have any emotional attachments to it," Prowl lowered his cube and shifted his full attention to Jazz, "What do you want?"

"I..." Jazz struggled for words, looking at Prowl confused. "...I don't know." He admitted quietly. "I thought I knew. I really did but then..." He looked down and away. "Turns out I don't." He admitted quietly. When he finally looked back at Prowl there was pleading in his voice, "Tell me what to do?"

Optics locked with visor, "Do you still feel safe here?" Sensory panels tilted in question, absorbing all of Jazz's frames reactions to the question.

Jazz looked at Prowl uncertainly, then looked around. So many memories, both good and bad happened here. Did he feel safe? He didn't know. 

"...I can't tell." Jazz admitted. 

"If you can't get a definite yes, than that's a no," Sensory panels fanned out to keep his balance as Prowl leant down to set his cube to the side. He turned back to Jazz and took the smaller's face in his servos, "It will not hurt us to move, you can even help decide where to."

"Really?" Jazz asked surprised as he leaned into Prowl's servos. "Then I guess...as long as it’s okay..." He trailed off quietly.

"It's not a problem, Jazz," Prowl replied calmly, amusement coloring his tone. He kissed Jazz's forehelm, "We can even start looking now if you'd like."

"That would be wonderful!" Jazz said excited. "I would love that!"

Prowl chuckled and nuzzled Jazz's helm as he pulled a datapad from subspace to begin their search.

~

It didn't take them long to find a new place to live with how avidly Jazz searched. They had gone on several showings before they had decided on a house over an apartment. It wasn't close to Prowl's work but it wasn't far either, so worked in their favor.

Their move had been the biggest leap and the most Jazz had been out of the apartment. He'd also had the chance to drive in traffic for the first time, though Prowl had made sure they'd be out when minimal vehicle-alts were on the roads.

The house wasn't quite in the city but wasn't exactly in the country either. They had neighbors sparsely placed to either side while their backyard actually backed up to a crystal forest. The lot the home sat on was pretty big so they actually had a yard and a decent amount of privacy where ones neighbors couldn't be heard through the walls. 

Inside, they actually had a kitchen versus a kitchenette and had guest rooms, if they were to ever have guests. 

It really was pretty. Jazz found himself loving the place not even living so long there. It /definitely/ was different from the apartment. Certainly a lot more spacious with the two stories and the large back yard. He suspected Prowl got a house with such a big yard but no other houses near in sight to help him overcome his fear of going out... even if he still didn’t have the courage to do that without Prowl. Which was absurd - he needed Prowl to go out in the freakin' yard!

Prowl... The Praxian really was /trying/ to change for the better, Jazz would give him that. He was more than careful with how he spoke with Jazz and the way he acted, never pushing or demanding anything. No more mind games, no more word play. It seemed like Prowl was genuinely trying to do the right thing in his own odd way. 

Perhaps he should reward Prowl's patience. And, begrudgingly, Jazz was forced to admit to himself that he missed some aspects of the /other/ Prowl as well. There was this...craving he had been feeling for a long while now that he finally admitted it to himself.

Thankfully, Jazz knew just how to surprise Prowl with this.

Jazz found the other reading a pad after dinner and nursing a cube of good quality high grade in their new living room. His spark fluttered a couple of times before he forced himself to calm.

"...Prowler?" Jazz called quietly at the other.

The Praxian glanced up after taking a sip of energon and had to do a double take as he suddenly choked on his energon. Wings flapped pathetically as he tried to catch his vents to finally look back up to meet Jazz's visor.

Optics flared, "Ja-Jazz." He coughed to clear his vents, "What are you doing?" Sensory panels had snapped to attention on his back, unable to tear his optics away from the armorless form before him or the collar that adorned it.

Jazz felt his cheeks burn, looking away, but somehow...this felt familiar. In an odd, twisted way, it was also comforting. In the end Jazz forced himself to walk and sit next to the other, fidgeting.

"You've.... you've been nothing but nice and kind after our... incident. Don't think I haven't noticed how you restrain yourself. I wanna... I wanna return the favor. I..." he looked down, "...I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss the other part of you...."

Prowl stared, mouth slightly agape as he keyed into all of Jazz's miniscule movements, "You don't have to..." Prowl trailed off as his optics moved back to the collar secured snuggly around the other's neck and then travelled lower and lower till he had to snap his helm back up in an attempt to meet Jazz's downcast visor.

"This is what you like. This is what you tried to teach me to like." Jazz admitted and finally looked up at Prowl, reaching with a servo to play with the collar. "... And I know... I know you're not being your real self with me, for my sake. The real Prowl... am I wrong?"

"You made clear you don't like what I've done, but you've never been clear on...our encounters," Prowl trailed off unsure of how to phrase his words. Jazz had only used colors to express what he was feeling in the moment and a majority of time that color was yellow.

"I'm not... I'm not sure myself." Jazz looked away again, unable to stay still on the couch, "But, like I said all that time ago, I both like and don't like it. I both fear and crave it." He gave a helpless shrug, unsure how to even /explain/ what he was feeling. "...There's just something..." His thought died down and he shook his head before sighing sadly. "...I thought I knew what I wanted. But I don't. It's all so confusing but then there was you, telling me /things/ and it was all in order..." He trailed off, realizing he was rambling and promptly shut his mouth, feeling like a fool.

Optics flared and dimmed as Prowl made a decision and pressed Jazz back into the couch to hover over him. "Is this what you want?" He questioned as he slid his servo down Jazz's frame, dipping into every curve and seam. Digits caressed Jazz's anterior node as he nipped Jazz's throat, "Someone to take control."

Jazz arched against him, shuddering as his servos came up to hold Prowl's shoulders. "...Y--yeah." He breathed, burying his face in Prowl's shoulder, "But I dun like it when it's said out loud. Dunno why. Makes me feel weak. Ashamed I crave it even if it's all I wanna do." Jazz whispered, "I don't know what to do anymore..."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Prowl murmured against Jazz's audio before he bit it. Deft digits stroked along Jazz's hips and dipped into the smaller's valve, testing Jazz's arousal. "Here or the berth?"

Jazz whimpered, trembling against him. When was the last time he had felt like this? Afraid but at the edge with arousal coursing through him? Was it normal? Did other mechs interface like this? Something inside Jazz told him no but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I-I don't know." Jazz whimpered.

Prowl chuckled at the smaller and flipped them so Prowl was on his back with Jazz over him. He pulled Jazz's face closer to plant a heated kiss on the other's lips. "How about this?"

Jazz gasped against the kiss before initiating one himself, feeling his face heat up from the arousal. He cupped the other's face while the kiss lasted. "It's just like before..." He breathed against the other's lips. Before the truth came out. Before, when he lived in his little blissful lie. 

Prowl stole another kiss while he digits worked the other up. He guided Jazz's hips down to grind against his still closed panel, leaving a streak of lubricant behind. 

Jazz mewed against the other, shuddering as his arousal kept growing. With shaking hands he reached for the other's door-wings trying to return the favor. 

Digits brushed the hoop piercing along Jazz's valve and tugged lightly before they moved onto the piercing on his anterior node and flicked it. He smirked at the jolt it gave the smaller. 

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out softly, shaking as he fought back the urge to close his legs. He made another soft sound, shaking above Prowl as the other played with his piercings.

Optics looked down his frame to look at the other's piercings as he continued to toy with them. Digits moved back to the hoops and valve entrance. He began to stretch the other while he brushed along Jazz's valve lips to stroke around the piercings.

"Primus, /Prowler/." Jazz groaned, visor shuttered as he clutched the other. "Please do /something/!"

Optics flickered as he stilled Jazz's hips with both servos, "Stay just like that." He waited for the smaller to go as still as he could while Prowl stretched Jazz's valve. Small tremors remained present as he moved Jazz's hips so he was straddling over his closed panel. 

Once Prowl felt that Jazz was in position he let his interface panel slide back and spike pressurize directly into Jazz's valve.

Jazz cried out in pleasure and just that tiny wonderful bit of pain at the sudden almost-too-full stretch. Prowl's hands on his hips were the only thing keeping him in place and every small movement he made caused the piercings to move or brush against the spike which only gave him more pleasure.

"Prowl!" Jazz cried out again, shaking.

Prowl groaned at the squeeze and arched up into Jazz, pushing deeper. It had been so long since they'd interfaced or had any real intimate contact, Prowl wasn't sure it he'd be able to really control himself, "Remember your colors?"

Jazz nodded, finally beyond words. He flashed Prowl a grin and tried to move his hips.

Prowl released a burst of air through his vents as he brought his own legs up for Jazz to rest against. Slowly he removed his servos from Jazz's hips and let them rest on the smaller's thighs, giving him full reign.

But Jazz just leaned back, enjoying the odd and Primus, so pleasurable sensation as he waited for Prowl to move.

Prowl chuckled at Jazz's relaxed posture and covered his optics, "You're something else." Uncovering his optics, Prowl smirked up at Jazz and gripped the smaller's thighs firmly as he rolled his hips back and forth.

Jazz gave a moan filled with pleasure, back arching against Prowl's legs. He felt lubricant slip from his valve and briefly wondered where Prowl learned to interface like this.

"M-More!" Jazz cried out.

Prowl grunted as he continued at a steady pace, dragging out both of their pleasures and slowly building them up to overload. Optics glanced down to watch as the piercings clinked against his pelvis and spike with every in and out thrust, the sight increasing his arousal.

His field surrounded Jazz in an almost suffocating blanket of pleasure. 

One last pull down and thrust up was more than enough to push Jazz over the edge he had been hovering for quite a while. He spasmed and nearly fell, unable to focus on anything but the pleasure coursing through him and the one he could still feel from Prowl.

Primus, it's been /so long/ since he had such an overload.

Prowl groaned and arched up into the smaller as the other's valve clamped down around him, initiating his own overload. Servos absently moved to Jazz's chest to keep him arched back against his still raised legs. He was more worried he might actually black out it had been so long. 

Slowly his frame relaxed back down to lay flat on the couch. Optics unshuttered and looked down at Jazz draped over his legs and smiled. His servo massaged over the other's exposed belly, slowly bringing the other back to awareness.

Jazz squirmed even before he got fully online, ticklish. He made a soft sound and then plopped forward over Prowl's chest with a small squeal. His field was still full with pleasure as he loosely hugged Prowl, slightly shaking.

"Prowler..." Jazz mumbled, visor still offline.

White servos slid around to Jazz's back and pressed him flush to his chest. Prowl smiled at the sensations coming from the smaller's field and shifted Jazz's helm so he could kiss him properly on the lips, "You don't know what you do to me." Field stretched out to merge with Jazz's, adding his own pleasure and love for the other into the mix. He tucked Jazz's helm under his chin as he held the small frame securely in his arms.

Prowl shifted his hips to adjust to a more comfortable position, causing his spike to inadvertently slide further into Jazz. Prowl grunted and hissed at the mix of pleasure and pain coming from his oversensitive spike still snug within Jazz's valve. 

Jazz gave a small mew, trying to get more comfortable against Prowl but the other's hands stilled his hips. Jazz gave a soft sigh, snuggling well under Prowl's chin.

"...why izzit that you like keepin' yer spike in me?" Jazz slurred, but there was amusement and curiousness mixed in his field and voice as he tried shifting again.

"You're a perfect fit," Prowl murmured against an audio horn. His spike twitched from Jazz's shifting and he could feel himself re-pressurizing. He hummed and stroked down Jazz's spine, "Perfect in every way."

"Flatterer." Jazz mumbled, "Kinky flatterer..." He gave a small chuckle, "...I checked out on the internet. Now I know. Yer kinky."

"And the real reason comes out," Prowl laughed as he pressed his face against Jazz's cheek, "Ulterior motives for wanting access to the internet."

"Oh please." Jazz snorted and shifted enough to steal a kiss. "You have the porn sites blocked. I actually read it from a respectable source...Sorta. I think." He stole another kiss. "Makes me wonder how ya got so kinky in the first place." Another kiss.

"I wouldn't know," He pecked the other on the lips in return, "My frame liked it, so I continued." He cupped Jazz's cheek with one servo and kissed him deeply.

"How didja know my frame would like it too?" Jazz mumbled right above Prowl's lips, lazily making out with him.

"I didn't know, for sure," Prowl replied softly and leant up to touch Jazz's lips, "I knew you liked to experiment, but I didn't know how far you'd go."

"It's crazy." Jazz admitted, reaching with his hands to cup Prowl's face and kiss him again. "I think it's not normal to like fear. That's... who does that? How can ya be afraid and like it?"

Prowl pulled Jazz's back enough to meet his visor, "Are you afraid of me?"

Jazz blinked at Prowl, causing his visor to flicker. "...That's a...that's um." Jazz forced himself to sigh. "When I discovered the closet, when you hit me...yeah." Jazz admitted quietly, feeling ashamed. "But...I accept it. I mean, I trust and fear you at the same time. I would never willingly do this with ya if I didn't trust you...."

Prowl stroked Jazz's face and gently pulled him into a chaste kiss, "I'm sorry I hit you, I may have overreacted."

"May have?" Jazz muttered, but stole another kiss.

Prowl chuckled weakly, "Okay, yes I overreacted. I was afraid to lose you."

Jazz hugged the other, pressing their foreheads close. "You're not." Jazz didn’t know why he promised it, but somehow he knew that in his spark. "...I love you too much."

Optics brightened at Jazz's words before they dimmed back to their usual setting. Prowl smiled softly at the other, "You're something special." He said absently as he pressed a kiss to the corner of Jazz's mouth.

"No, but you are." Jazz mumbled, kissing him deeply.

Prowl returned the kiss, his field merging with Jazz's and blanketing him in a wave of sparkfelt love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, but there will be one more chapter with a small epilogue. Hope everyone enjoyed it and hopefully we didn't disappoint anyone ^^'


	9. Chapter 9

Jazz smiled, swinging lightly on the swing on their front porch, one hand absently resting on his chest as he watched two younglings tussle around in the yard. He was glad that after his 'incident' with Prowl no other like that had followed. Well, not exactly, he often had to remind Prowl not to be so possessive in public, but it was something he had grown used to and something Prowl had learned to control. Somewhat. Sorta. Jazz didn't ask for miracles.

Though one had happened to them - he had gotten sparked and thankfully, this time, everything went smoothly. He had actually felt his creation and the joy it brought into their lives was immeasurable. Though with him getting sparked, it meant he also wanted to finally deal with his fear from the outside. He refused to condemn his creation to life of four walls because he was afraid.

Jazz had felt what that was like and how hard it was to recover.

It was hard at first. Not only because Jazz was constantly scared but because as much as Prowl tried to be encouraging and supportive of letting him explore the outside world, he was just as much as possessive and, not that Jazz would admit it out loud, sometimes even jealous of the tiniest things.

But just as Prowl had agreed all that time ago when the truth had gone out - he had helped "fix" him.

Jazz was still skittish around large groups of mechs but that was slowly starting to ebb away, especially when their first creation became old enough to attend a nursery to play with other younglings, Jazz had discovered he was sparked once more.

His creations were his strength and now sparked up for the third time Jazz felt like there wasn't anything he couldn't do in this world. Sometimes he caught himself wondering about the mech he was before. His friends, his contacts, his family... He didn't remember them. Had they forgotten him? Jazz wouldn't blame them if they had.

He couldn't hold it against Prowl though, after hearing about the mech's sparklinghood. His creators hadn't been kind and because of his upbringing, he had several bullies growing up. It wasn't till he started going to the academy that he no longer worried about these mechs that constantly terrorized him. This was where Prowl's obsession with control and power came from.

The sudden sound of their sparklings shouting for their sire caught Jazz's attention just as Prowl walked out the back door.

"I was wondering where everyone was," Prowl remarked softly as he knelt down next to Jazz sprawled out over the porch swing. He rubbed Jazz's chest soothingly and met Jazz's visor.

The winged mech opened his mouth ready to say something when he was rudely interrupted by two sparklings tackling him from the side.

Prowl fell over under the swing and had to grab it to keep it from hitting one or both of their roudy sparklings. "Have they had goodies today?" He questioned as he rolled from under the swing with both sparklings under an arm.

"I haven't given' em any." Jazz replied easily as he sat up, smiling fondly at his family. "They managed to climb all the way to the counter and get some themselves. Don't ask me how. But given they're /your/ creations, ain't surprised they figured out a way somehow." He chuckled at the warbling sparklings. Only a few words could be understood though, the others not properly said yet.

"Master planners then," Prowl announced as he looked at the two sparklings attempting to give him innocent looks.

"Just troublemakers works too." Jazz grinned at them, "I was hoping they would tire themselves out. You could help with that. Your third is currently doing the same, only running laps around my spark."

Prowl chuckled as he set the two bitlets down and laid down in the metalligrass between them. He sighed, relaxing back after a day of work. He also knew their sparklings wouldn't be able to resist jumping on him.

He smirked as he heard one of them move to leap at him but caught him mid-jump, startling both of the sparklings into freezing. Both froze and gave him the electrodeer caught in the headlights look.

It didn't take long for them to both start laughing and screaming happily. The one in Prowl's hold began to wiggle in an attempt to escape but Prowl just brought him closer as he rolled to his front in search of the their sibling who'd taken off like a bullet.

Prowl loped after the other while the one on his hold was shifted to his shoulders. He smiled as he slowed behind their current youngest sparkling who turned to see how close his sire was and promptly squealed in fright. Much too close.

Prowl laughed and promptly scooped up the sparkling, "Fast like your carrier." He held them both close to his chest while they attempted to fight his grasp to escape and run more, but Prowl constantly switched his grip to give them the runaround.

Eventually the two wore themselves out, unable to escape their sire and just accepted defeat as they laid back against Prowl's chest and panted hard from the exertion. One yawned, shortly followed by the other doing the same. Prowl smiled in victory as the two attempted to curl up in his arms to recharge, the larger laying on top of the smaller.

After several kliks of waiting for the two's vents to even out, Prowl slowly stood up with them and came over to Jazz waiting for them.

Jazz took the larger one off of his sibling, tisking amused as he cradled him close to his chest. The youngling curled up against his carrier's chest, recharging undisturbed.

"That was a fun sight to watch." Jazz said quietly, amused at Prowl. He loved it when the other laughed. "Though I'd like to see ya do that when we get outnumbered."

"Three against two? I think we can take them," Prowl countered with a chuckle as he shifted the small sparkling in his arms.

"That's what you say because you can't feel the little runner." Jazz said fondly, looking at Prowl and then looking at their back yard but not really seeing it. "...Didja really think it'd work out like this? I mean..." He looked back at Prowl, "When you took me home from the hospital, did you really think this," He motioned at their creations, their family, "...would happen?"

Optics dimmed as he met Jazz's visor, "I'd always hoped, but I knew I shouldn't keep my hopes up." Together they moved into the house, both sparklings out like lights in their arms. "I'm overjoyed though, by what /we/ have."

It wasn't long before both of their creations were resting peacefully in their cribs and the two adult frames found themselves in the kitchen where Jazz watched Prowl pour their energon without uttering a word. They stayed like that for a while, Jazz just watching the other, looking at all of him.

Finally, Jazz broke the silence. "...Prowler?"

"Hmm?"

"I forgive you."

Prowl paused, lowering the glass he was pouring and turned to face Jazz properly, optics bright.

"I forgive you." Jazz repeated again, this time softer, with a kind smile as he slowly went to stand next to the stunned Praxian, taking one of his hands and giving it a gentle squeeze, staring at his optics.

Sensory panels trembled as Prowl brought Jazz's servo up to his mouth and kissed the back of it. No words could describe what he was feeling as he took Jazz's face with his free servo, "I love you." He kissed the other softly at first and then harder before he just let his forehelm rest against Jazz's.

He felt something drip down his face but couldn't be bothered with it as he pressed his helm closer to Jazz's.

Soft servos cupped Prowl's face as Jazz gently brushed with his thumbs the tears running down, field reflecting the other's words. It was Jazz's turn to stare stunned at something he had never seen in his existence since waking up in the hospital all that time ago.

"You're crying, love." Jazz whispered, running his thumbs under Prowl's optics.

Optics flickered as he looked at Jazz in confusion before he brought one of his servos up to wipe at the liquid he could still feel down his face. Prowl pulled his servo away and looked at the liquid as though he didn't know why it was there. He shook his helm, unconcerned as he pressed his helm back against Jazz's, "Doesn't matter."

Sensory panels flared and reset high on his back as he took a good look at Jazz, "There's something I've wanted to ask for a while now, but I knew it wasn't something I should ask...all things considered."

"What is it?" Jazz asked quietly.

Gently, Prowl pressed a servo to Jazz's chest while his other still held Jazz's servo, "I wanted to ask...if you'd sparkbond with me?"

It was Jazz's turn for his visor to brighten but this time it wasn't for long. This was a question, which he knew the answer. And it was a simple one.

Still cupping Prowl's face, Jazz pressed their lips close for a long moment, just basking in the other's field before pulling back to smile warmly at him. "Yes!" He said fondly. "Yes, I will bond with you."

Prowl looked taken aback at the other's response, but was quickly overjoyed at the response. Sensory panels fanned and fluttered as he pulled Jazz against his frame and kissed him hard on the mouth.

And just like he always did when Prowl's kisses made him weak in the knees, Jazz surrendered to it.

This time, frame /and/ spark.

~

The END


End file.
